47

 

Me - I'm still here & I love this picture.
My hairdressing took it after a cut and color.
I don't care that my mascara is running because this photo made me happy! 

Today is my 47th Diaversary - And I'm still here. 

47 years of injections; blood sugars rollercoasters, carb counting, always having low treats on my person. 

47 years of wondering; living, laughing, dealing, (sometimes not,) continually learning; doing, becoming. 

Recognizing that diabetes is a part of me - It's a part of my life - the good, the bad - the diabetesaliciousness of it all~ 

Acknowledging that diabetes burnout is not a weakness - it's real; it can be debilitating. 

  

Diabetes can make you sad and frustrated and requires us to get back up - even when we don't want to. And while living with a chronic illness can make us resilient - resilience can be fucking exhausting. 

Reaching out for help can be hard - but we are not alone and we are worth it!

I'm thinking a lot about that little girl 47 years ago - how she missed Halloween - how her parents kept on their game faces when their hearts must have been breaking - but they never let her see it. How she tried to make them laugh at the hospital, but would cry herself to sleep that night because she was scared and sad. 

I'm thinking about both my sisters who passed from t1d complications and t1 medical negligence. I wish things had turned out differently for them... for us. 

I think about how I am the girl who lived and the woman who continues to become. 

I'm grateful for my support system. My family, my friends  - my amazing diabetes family - what all you have done and continue to do for me - I would be so incredibly lost without you!

Every year I create a Gratitude List for my Diaversary - with the number correlating with the number of years I've lived the D life. 

Cheers to number 47  - in no particular order, here's my list of some of the many things in life I continue to find joy in and be grateful for.

1. My nieces and nephews  - THEY ARE MAGNIFICENT
2. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
3. Nailing the bolus for the ginormous gelato I had last Saturday night
4. The magical properties of red lipstick
5. Hoka Bondi's  - If you know, you know. If you don't, give them a try
6. Dogs. Dogs are the best
7. Music. I'd be lost without music. Currently on rotation: Black Violin, Duran Duran, Poe, The Wonder Woman Sound Track, Anything Taylor's version 
8. Speaking of Duran Duran, INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL for my friend, G gifting me 8th row tickets to see Duran Duran last Saturday night - THEY WERE AMAZING
9. Chai Tea
10. Tea in general
11. Strong coffee with oatmilk & sugar
12. Filling up my car with Regular gas yesterday that cost $2.82 a gallon
13. Cathy & Clark
14. My friends who are family
15. A Dino's sub
16. Red and white wine
17. Smart insulins
18. Grabbing my camera and shooting
19. Walks
20. Swimming in the ocean
21. The ocean
22. Going to the movies 
23. Dinner with friends
24. Dinner with my family 
25. Nailing a carb count
26. Coming pretty damn close to nailing a carb count
27. CGM & insulin pump technology
28. Making/eating soup
29. The beach
30. Shells
31. Singing - I like to sing
32. Performing
33. Writing - I've had writer's block for a while - It finally behind me
34. Naps
35. Traveling  - I love to travel
36. Jewelry in all dimensions
37. Art
38. Photography 
39. Cooking
40. Not having to do dishes
41. Diabetes Meet-ups - They are magic!
42. The men who discovered insulin and saved millions of lives - including my own!
43. My friends kids
44. Sex
45. A night out
46. Massages 
47. YOU. Everyone in the Diabetes Community - online and off. Without your love, support, lessons, laughter  - I don't know where I'd be! THANK YOU for everything. I love you and I am so fucking grateful to have found you!