Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Dear DIabetes - WE NEED TO TALK:

Dear Diabetes:

Hey, how goes it?

Just checking in with you, to make sure that u and I are on the same page and see eye to eye.
We've had quite a long history together and have been through a lot, both good and bad.

I think you need a bit of refresher on what I expect out of this relationship so I've taken the initiative to write this letter and go over some House Rules.

FIRST OFF, lets discuss blood sugars. The way I see it, they’ve been pretty good as of late and I’d like to keep it that way. I’ve been checking in with said blood sugars about 10 times a day, and that’s not going to change. Yes, I know you think that that amount is somewhat excessive, but testing that often really does help me keep an eye on all your highs and lows.

Especially those times when u lean too much in either direction and try to throw me for a loop.

NEWSFLASH: I don’t like feeling lethargic when u decide to blow the BS sky high out of the water and I don’t appreciate the accompanying headache either. So I will continue to count my carbs and your just going to have to accept that.

AND WHEN U DO DECIDE TO GO LOW, that behavior is unacceptable as well. I do not appreciate breaking into a sweat and feeling my lips go numb. As far as that shaky feeling that shoots through my body, DON”T GO THERE. I know that it’s your way of letting me know my B.S has gotten way to low. But trust me, I’ve already figured it out, SO QUIT IT.

FYI: I see a CGM in my future if you don’t straighten up and fly right. I have no problem playing hardball.

SECONDLY, I have my yearly eye exam in March. I fully expect you to “make nice” when my Doctor dilates my pupils. Let him see exactly what’s going and continue to steer clear of my retinal area.
You and your kind are not welcome in these kaleidoscope eyes.

THIRDLY: My weight is dropping and I’d appreciate it if u continue to allow my waist to shrink. In order to do this I need you not to mess with my inflamed ligament in my foot.
The Ortho says it will get better and it is a result of exercising and a long second toe continually rubbing against my shoe. She also said that it is NOT diabetes related. LET’S KEEP IT THAT WAY.

AND LASTLY, please keep in mind that I am your host, and while I can’t make this a
“Dear John” letter and end our complicated relationship, I STILL OWN YOUR PERVERBIAL ASS. GOT IT? It's not the other way around and it never will be.

I WILL WORK WITH YOU; I have no problem with that. But I own you outright and you will do as I say.

My rules are simple. I want to be healthy, happy, and to live a great life. Occasionally I’d like to enjoy a coconut cupcake or a piece of dark chocolate without getting any crap from you.

Thank you for abiding by my rules.
Kelly K
Mistress of the Manor in which you reside - A.K.A Your Diabetes Hostess with the Most-ess


Scott K. Johnson said...

Ha! Great stuff!

k2 said...

Scott -
Glad it made u laugh!

Jeff said...

Spring Training for the Big D! It's good to get the ground rules straight before each new season.

Great piece, Kelly. On a scale of 1 to 5, I give it 5 marshmallow pies. ;^P

k2 said...

Jeff -

Five Marshmallow pies!!! WOW THANKS - I'm impressed with that scale!
I'm glad people are relating to this piece. Sometimes subjects are hit or miss. I learn from both - but it really makes me happy to get a "hit" that people actually GET something out of.


Anonymous said...

Love the post ... I believe that the D always needs a good kick in the proverbial ass!


k2 said...

Randee -
I'm psyched that u liked the post!

Glad to hear that we see eye to eye regarding giving th big D a kick in it's proverbial arse!!

jules said...

cute :)
did you get the book?? i cant wait to hear what you think!

Naomi said...

Okay, okay... if you are the mistress of the manor, can't you just kick the slacker out??? :-) Wish we all could!!

k2 said...

Jules and Naomi -

J - just got the book and am on page 25 - will let u know my thoughts soon.
Glad u liked the post!

N - apparently the big D has squatters rights!