Diabetes Blog Week Day 7 : Spread The Love, D Blog Style

Today is day 7 (can you believe it? ) of DIabetes Blog Week, and it's all about spreading the Diabetes Blog Week Love - And we were supposed to pick three posts from this week that either introduced us to a new blog we hadn't read before or a post/posts that had moved us to pieces.

To read more other Spread the Diabetes Love posts, click, HERE. 
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OK, here are  just a few of the many, many #dblogweek posts that inspired me this week!

Melissa over @ "SweetlyVoiced" had me smiling through the tears as I listened to her sing (and then played it again and sang along with her) to her own version of 'Seasons of Love' words and music video: Here's just a sampling of the lyrics that Melissa wrote, that say so much to me: 

"12 Million 29 Thousand 8 Hundred Minutes

How do you measure a hundred thousand close calls?

In truths that she learned,

Or in times that she cried,

In babies she birthed,

Or the way that she'll die?

It's time now, to sing out though the story never ends

I want to celebrate the love and support of my online friends."

And then to hear her sing them - I was blown away!

To watch the her video, click HERE and be prepared to be inspired, moved and amazed!

This beautiful and amazing "MEMORIES" post by Australia's own LazyPancreas, had me sobbing and crying and wanting to reach out through my computer and hug the authoress tight!

The  heartfelt emotions written on the page was beautiful and realatible & I'm so glad I read it!

For the record: Miss LAZY PANCREAS rocks!!!!

I LOVE THIS poem that our Meri over at OUR DIABETIC LIFE, wrote as a love letter and poem to her boys!  It made me cry and smile at the same time - And it was a window showing me the fierce and beautiful love a D Mamma has for her D children/child. And it made me once again so thankful to have been given the gifts of my parents and the incredible love of the Diabetes On-line Community!

 

Diabetes Blog Week: Day 6: Diabetes Art.... At My Fingertips~

This 'Diabetes Blog Week' post is a day late, technically it was supposed to be up yesterday - Blame my car's muffler & exhaust pipe cracked 50 miles away from home on Friday night. 

Long & expensive story, but all is well. Anyway, this post is about is about how diabetes inspires art in all it's mediums. I wrote this post back in January 2008, two months after I started my blog - And I still think it rings true today, and And I hope you like it. Click HERE to read/ see more posts about Diabetes Art~

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Freckled Finger Tips

My fingers tips are freckled with dots.

Dots that rest on callouses,

Calluses caused by continually pricking them with a lance,

Which pierces my finger tips for a blood drop -

A blood drop that is placed on a strip.

A strip that is placed in a machine

A machine that's a quick study.

5 seconds later a number appears

If the number is high, I feel tired and guilty

And I bolus accordingly.

If the number is low

I already know before it appears,

I shake, sweat, and feel light headed

My appetite is insatiable.

Quickly I grab the juice box and I try my best to remember the rule:

15 carbs at a time to treat a low blood sugar - yeah right!

If it's in the golden range of Blood Sugar Nirvana - I'm proud and relieved..

Until the cycle starts all over again. 

And the blood sugar testing never ends.

I find test strips everywhere,

And in places they were never meant to be.

The type 3's in my life yell at me regarding my test strip trail

I will never be a hand model...But that's Ok, 

Because life is sweet and I go with the flow~

Diabetes Blog Week, Day 5: Freaky-Deaky Diabetes Friday

Today is Day 5 of Diabetes Blog Week - And it's all about getting all types of Freaky Friday and swapping out our Diabetes DX with another disease - which is an interesting subject - And a difficult one. 
For a list of other peoples Swapping posts, click HERE  -And make sure to follow the Diabetes Blog Week hashtag of #dblogWeek on twitter!
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Swapping out my Diabetes for another chronic illness A 'la "Freaky-Deaky Diabetes Friday??   Hmmm, that's a toughie!

 Yeah.... here's the thing: I know what living with Type 1 Diabetes is like, and even though I may not be the perfect patient with diabetes ( there's not such thing - and you're delusional if you think there is,) and diabetes is always changing the rules (just because it can,) I know my disease  - The good, the bad and the Diabetesalicious of it all. 

And while I may battle  Diabetes Burnout from time to time I still know my enemy/constant companion - Intimately and in all complicated (and complications) dimensions.

I don't want to swap diseases  with anyone else. 

And for the record, I believe that STUPIDITY and ASSHATTERY are indeed very real diseases - I'll take Diabetes any day!

This blog topic led me to Googling the term: "Diseases that sound fake, but are real," because that's just how my brain works. And there were some interesting articles written on the subject  - And some really interesting sounding diseases, that were indeed very real -Too many to blog about it in one post.  So I picked the following three diseases that are real but don't sound like they are,to talk about - But not swap my Diabetes out for! 

There's Medical Students' Syndrome: Medical students' syndrome is a temporary, hypochondria-like mental condition that strikes medical students, causing them to believe that they are suffering from the diseases that they're studying. By some reports, up to 80% of medical students experience it at some point as a result of studying such frightening diseases in such a highly suggestible environment.

Not so terrible... at first glance - But the more I thought about the worse that sounded. 

Here's the thing:  I start to itch and scratch if someone even mentions bed bugs, so forget about it! 

Living with diabetes is enough, but imagining temporarily suffering from every disease you studied in Med School?! 

Lets say I was a medical student and I was studying Irritable Bowel syndrome, and then all of a sudden IB symptoms would kick in - And probably at the most inopportune of times. And then If I was reading about Multiple Personalities disorders, all of a sudden I'd be having arguments with me and my multiple personalities, and with my luck at least one of them would suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome - NO THANK YOU. And I'm not making fun of IB or MPD in any way, shape or form. 

And there's something called Jerusalem Syndrome, which might be interesting to experience for about 5 minutes - Just because of the accessories and the dramatics involved. 

Basically, "Jerusalem syndrome is a form of religious mania resulting from, or leading to, a visit to the city of Jerusalem. Typically, a sufferer (of Christian or Jewish background) experiences a sudden religious fervor upon visiting the city, leading them to the belief that they are on a religiously significant mission and quite possibly that they are a specific biblical figure.

People experiencing Jerusalem syndrome often end up dressing in a white robe and delivering a sermon at a religiously significant site in the city. Since 1980, there have been an average of close to 100 cases per year reported. It's debatable whether or not sufferers had previous mental problems before visiting Jerusalem."

 But then I though about the mental toll Jerusalem Syndrome takes on the psyche of those who suffer from it. Imagine visiting The Wailing Wall in Israel, or The Dali Lama in Tibet, or Lordes France, and all of a sudden thinking you're some sort of Saint or on a mission from God, and the next thing you know, you snap out of it and are in the middle of a crowd who thinks you're crazy because you thought you were Joan of Arc, the son of God  or the next reincarnation of the Dali Lama. 

Not to mention the fact that I've been known to genuflect at various cupcake display counters across the country - Don't even get me started!

So yeah, white robe and theatrics aside, it's not worth it. 

Also, having a low blood sugars already makes me speak in diabetes tongues - So NO THANK YOU. 

The disease known as Synesthesia sounds sort of romantic and all types of artsy....at first.  

People with synesthesia ("synesthetes") associate a stimulus with one of the five senses not typically related to it. For instance, they may describe a certain sound as having a color. There are several different types of synesthesia, mixing sight, sound, taste and other sensory elements, and by some estimates, as much as 5% of the population has some level of incidence. It's a harmless condition and is often genetic, although some people have reported experiencing it as a result of a stroke or loss of sight or hearing. Perhaps because of its sensory nature, synesthesia is frequently reported amongst artists and musicians.

But the more I thought about Synthesthesia,the worse that sounded - Living with  diabetes, a disease that has the ability to affect your eyes, heart, arteries and kidneys is bad enough. 

But I love and find great joy & comfort in the Arts, and while I could deal with sounds having color (and words for that matter - I totally get that. For instance, the word "magnificent" always seems to me like it has an 18K gold shimmer to it,) the thought of having a stroke or losing my vision and or  hearing because I was seeing or hearing art in all its many wonderful forms but not in it's usual forms.. and then some, doesn't sound appealing at all - it sounds scary  - And it made me feel so sad for people who have been afflicted with Synesthesia. 

Living with Diabetes, may not be a walk in the park, but at least it's a terrain that I'm familiar with - And D is a part of who I am. 
And Diabetes has given me compassion, empathy and hope for others in spades - So I'll keep my busted pancreas,(and not wish a busted pancreati on anyone else, ever) and have heaps of compassion, empathy and hope for those who are living with their diseases - Those that are real, and those that are very real and sound fake.

 Everybody has something - And while the grass might look green on the other side, it doesn't mean that it is.

Diabetes Blog Week: Diabetes Accomplishments - Big & Small~

Once again, I'm late to post today's entry in Diabetes Blog Week - But I was at my Endo appointment today, so I hope you'll cut a little bit of slack. 
Today's post is all about Diabetes accomplishments - Both Big and small. 

And I'm going to quote Karen on this topic because she sums it up all types of perfect: We don’t always realize it, but each one of us had come a long way since diabetes first came into our life. It doesn’t matter if it’s been 5 weeks, 5 years or 50 years, you’ve done something outstanding diabetes-wise. So today let’s share the greatest accomplishment you've made in terms of dealing with your (or your loved one’s) diabetes. No accomplishment is too big or too small - think about self-acceptance, something you’ve mastered (pump / exercise / diet / etc.), making a tough care decision (finding a new endo or support group / choosing to use or not use a technology / etc.). (Thanks to Hillary of Rainie and Me for this topic suggestion.)
You can read about everyones amazing Diabetes Accomplishments HERE, and you can follow the #dblogweek hashtag on the twitter~
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This was my 2012 postcard submission for the World Diabetes Day PostCard Exchange

I’ve lived with Diabetes for 35 years & it takes up many a page in my Big Book of Kelly. 

Diabetes is the longest relationship I’ve ever had & it's been with me through all the highs and lows in my life - ANd I’m not just talking about blood sugars.  

 But yes, total pun intended and nicely played if I do say so myself! 

Not to get all diabetes biblical, but I’ve seen diabetes giveth and I’ve seen diabetes taketh away. 

Diabetes has taken away people I love and I am forever changed because of losing them. 

Diabetes has screwed with my autoimmune system,  my bank account, not to mention my pancreas.

But diabetes has given me strength,and tenacity and a heart filled with hope that keeps me afloat. 

Even during those times with diabetes when I was at my lowest, my hope continued to float - even when I wasn't  aware that I actually had hope, let alone was holding onto it - through both rough waters and calm.

My hope became my own beacon of light and tenacity and humor, and that hope has lead me to a beautiful community filled with rays of light in the form of.... YOU, the Diabetes On-Line and Off-Line Community. 

So thank you all for shining so magnificently! 

My greatest accomplishment in my 35 years of life with diabetes, is holding on to my hope that floats - through through the loss and the burnout...  and remembering that my light from within shines along with the light that you all radiate. 

Whenever I feel like my diabetes hope is in danger of taking on water and my inner light is coming dangerously close to losing it’s spark and shine, I reach out to each and everyone of you and hold on tight -  I kid you not. 

And I follow your light until it leads me to your diabetes hope like a life preserver - 

And I hold on tight to your hope, until my own floating hope is once again watertight..... And I am once again reignited in all dimensions. 

Diabetes Memory #76,511: The One With My Dad, Vet Stadium & The Greg Luzinski Batting Glove

I'm late to post on Day 3 of Diabetes Blog Week , but I'm posting none the less. Day 3 is all about diabetes memories. Mine is about baseball and my dad and I will never forget that day. 

To read more diabetes memories, click HERE to checkout the the awesome links that others have written.

Also, follow the hashtag #Dblogweek on twitter!

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Yep, that's the glove - I still have it, and it still fits - And I still remember how came
to get that glove.
Also, I have freakishly small hands. 

It was Greg Luzinski Batting Glove Day at Vet Stadium and I was excited.  It was a lunchtime game and I was in 3rd grade and It was just me and my dad, one on one, no one else. 
We were waiting in line to get inside the vet, surrender our Philadelphia Phillies tickets so I could get my official Greg Luzinski batting glove & we could go watch the game. 
Luzinski was  left handed just like me - And that made the day even more exiting. 
Mike Schmidt was actually my favorite Phillie, but Tug McGraw and Gret "The Bull" Luzinski were my next faves so it was really a win-win situation.

We were carrying My “UP AND DOWN, THIS WAY AND THAT WAY,” red book bag. The book bag  literally had the phrase UP AND DOWN / THIS WAY AND THAT WAY written on it in white letters) and I’d carried my school books in it for most of second grade. Inside that bag contained two freezer packs (my mom called them freezettes) wrapped in tinfoil - because apparently tinfoil helped keep the freezerpacks cold, at least way back when, two turkey sandwiches, two sliced oranges and two diet sodas.

Food at the Vet wasn’t diabetes friendly - And we knew that going in, so we brought our own. 
Plus, back in the diabetes days known as the Dark Ages, the D diet was incredibly restrictive and inflexible - and I was still in the "honeymoon phase," of life with D and my pancreas would occasionally sputter out some insulin every now and then.  So yeah,  it was just easier for us to bring our own food - And cheaper. 

We handed the security guard our tickets and he handed my dad back the stubs and then handed me my official Greg Luzinski batting glove. I WAS STOKED - And for a brief second I couldn’t stop smiling. 

And then the security guard told my father that he couldn’t bring  my “UP AND DOWN, THIS WAY AND THAT,” book-bag filled with food into the stadium. 

My dad explained that this my first Phillies game and that I had diabetes and so did he, and that we had to eat special food. But the security guard refused to listen (and I think he told my dad I was too young to have diabetes) and then he told us we were banned from entering the stadium with our food -  And then he snatched my official Greg Luzinski batting glove from my hands and called my father a liar. 

I burst into tears and my dad in the security guy kept screaming at one another - And the next thing I know,  my 58 year old dad and the security guy were rolling down on the ground  and fighting - And I stood there like a crying deer in the headlights. 

I started crying even louder and people stopped what they were doing and watched. And I remember being so scared and afraid and feeling so helpless. 

And I remember hearing some lady saying: Poor kid - imagine having your father fight in front of you - TERRIBLE. 

And that's when I really lost it and got right up in her face and started screaming: I HAVE DIABETES AND MY DAD HAS DIABETES AND WE AREN’T ALLOWED TO EAT THE FOOD HERE!!!!! IT’S NOT MY DAD’S FAULT, LEAVE HIM ALONE, LEAVE MY DAD ALONE, WE HAVE DIABETES!!!!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE!! 

Finally, the head of security showed up and stopped the fight and my dad explained that I had just been diagnosed with diabetes and that I wasn’t allowed to eat stadium food - And neither was he. 

And then someone gave me back my official Greg Luzinski batting glove and we were allowed to take our seats. 

But I don’t remember much of the game - I think the Phillies won 11- 4, but I could be wrong. 

I do remember holding on to my dad’s hand really tight and I remember him doing the same - And he wasn't big on hand holding for extended periods of time, but he was that day.. 

And I still have my Greg Luzinski batting glove all these years later - And it still fits. 

And I still think about that day and my dad, every time I see it. 

DiabetesBlogWeek Day 2: We The Undersigned, Promise To Bust Diabetes Myths....

Day 2 of Diabetes BLog Week is a call to action in the form of petition - A la, WE THE UNDERSIGNED. In Karen's (the creator of Diabetes Blog Week's) own words: 
"Recently various petitions have been circulating the Diabetes Online Community, so today let’s pretend to write our own. Tell us who you would write the petition to – a person, an organization, even an object (animate or inanimate) - get creative!! What are you trying to change and what have you experienced that makes you want this change? (Thanks to Briley of inDpendence for this topic suggestion.)"

To read other posts on this subject, click HERE and be prepared for some kickass posts!

And be sure to follow along on the twitter, by following the hashtag: #Dblogweek.
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We the Undersigned, all people living with type 1, type 1.5, and type 2 diabetes, and our family and loved ones, (and who we lovingly refer to as type 3s, ) pledge (as in promise, cross our hearts and hope to never have to eat liver in any way, shape and form,) to continually bust diabetes myths while perpetuating diabetes realities. 

And for the record, Diabetes Police - YES, we can and will eat THAT,(especially if THAT is in cupcake form) and bolus accordingly. 

We the Undersigned, promise to call out the media when they perpetuate diabetes myths on the stage, screen, print and all forms of digital and real life diabetes douchebaggery.
And by media I/WE are referring to reporters; news producers, station managers, bloggers and the likes there. And we will not hesitate to call them out when we see shlock diabetes reporting on the news, be it local or national. 

We, the fantastical undersigned, promise to flip our Diabetes BitchSwitches whenever and where ever we see  Diabetes Media Muck-ups. And we promise to write emails, pick up the phone and make all sorts of noise when it comes to perpetuating diabetes realities and educating the public on life with diabetes  - in all its forms and dimensions. 

We promise to educate the public whenever we get the chance, be it in the pharmacy line or shooting the breeze at the Dentist’s office. 

And we promise not to quit busting a diabetes move, or diabetes myths - Because we can, we must and we will continue to do so.  

D-Blog Week 2013: Dearest Diabetes (And Non Diabetes) HealthCare Professionals......

It's The First Day of Diabetes Blog Week, 2013 and today's topic is to Share, don't share - As in what we'd like share with our healthcare professionals... or not. 
To quote Karen over at BitterSweet Diabetes: Often our health care team only sees us for about 15 minutes several times a year, and they might not have a sense of what our lives are really like. Today, let’s pretend our medical team is reading our blogs. What do you wish they could see about your and/or your loved one's daily life with diabetes? On the other hand, what do you hope they don't see?
And a big shout out to Melissa over at SweetlyVoiced for coming up with the topic!
You can follow  Diabetes Blog Week on the twitter by following the #DBlogWeek and keep up with today's posts by clicking over to the Share & Don't Share link list page. 
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Dear Diabetes HealthCare Professionals: 

There are some things going on in this diabetes patient brain of mine that you might not be aware of.

After all, you're very busy seeing patients and dealing with insurance crap and I get that, I really do, 

But if you'd keep the following in mind, next time I (or anyone else with diabetes for that matter,) comes into to see you - We'd all benefit.   

1. Talk with me and to me, not at me. 

Here's the thing, if you look into my eyes and talk with me and not at me, several positive things will occur:

A. My nerves will be calmer, which means I will be calmer

B. My mind will be clear and open to what you're saying, instead of bracing myself for what you're going to say. 

C. My diabetes anxiety will dial down from 11 and I will be more able to give you the results that we both want.

2. Keep in mind that every blood sugar has a story. That 250 at 7 a.m. very well might have been caused by that 50 blood sugar two hours earlier. The one that woke me up out of a sound sleep, had me sweating profusely and eating like a mad woman because I was afraid of passing out. 

That 60 blood sugar at midnight might have been caused for over bolusing for a dinner of stuffed shells and meatballs that I ate 4 hours earlier with friends. Perhaps I over bolused or went a little overboard with my temporary basal rate. But whatever the reason or the number, please remember that I'm trying. 

3. My A1C. As far as my A1c is concerned - If it's gone up, it might be due to the fact that I had bronchitis and was on steroids for two weeks, or maybe something is up with my immunity (shocker,) but  I am trying - regardless of my A1c. Acknowledge the fact that I am trying - and encourage me to keep trying - Because what you think and say matters to me, BIG  TIME. 

And if my A1C has gone down, I don't need a tickertape parade (though that would be very cool,) but I still need your ear and your input. I still have questions that need answers. Also,  a "WAY TO GO, KELLY" would be very much appreciated. 

4. Paperwork. Re: paperwork (bolus and basal settings/basal testing, allergies,) please have those forms available for me to  print out/ fill out on-line. That way, when we do have our one on ones, I won't be spending my time filling out paperwork. I'd rather just be able to fill my paperwork out at home and give it to you when I sign in at the front desk, that way - our valuable time will be spend productively. 

5. My mindset. I think it would really help all parties involved if healthcare professionals kept the patients mindset in mind. 

Are you aware that I've been stressing out over our appointment for at least two weeks prior to my actual appointment? 

Are you aware that the thought of fasting after midnight sends me into a tizzy and makes my head spin. And that the first time I tried fasting for my labs I had to stop because I was low when I woke up and had to "break the fast?" Which of course made the second time I fasted for my labs even more nerve wracking. 

Do you realize that I'm scared to death to hear the results of my labs. Scared your going to tell me the worst case scenarios, scared something horrible will be found? Yep, I'm scared shitless!
And those self deprecating jokes I crack are to cover up my fears and to put my mind at ease -and even when they do put my mind at ease - I'm still afraid.
My fear usually requires the tech to test my blood pressure at least twice because of the whole "white coat syndrome" thing I suffer from. 

Are you aware that I'm scared to death that history will repeat itself - That I will go the diabetes way of my sister Debbie??? And that fact haunts me. 

I need support when it comes to my diabetes, both physical and mental. 

I've had diabetes for 35.6, years and I haven't had a vacation from diabetes for 12,957 days - which is freaking mind blowing when you really think about it. 

There are days when diabetes makes me feel overwhelmed and tired and there are some diabetes cracks in my foundation. 

But cracks or not,  I am tenacious, I am trying and I am doing. 

6. REMEMBER:  I am human and I am flawed.... And I am trying. 

Lastly -  My diabetes healthcare professionals are my Diabetes Pit Crew- I rely on you for my diabetes tune-ups and the likes there of -  And without you I'd be up Shit's Creek. 

We are a team - and I depend on you tremendously, I value your opinions and I want to make all of us proud.

I am not perfect, but I am trying my best. 

Thanks for listening, 

Kelly K~