47

 

Me - I'm still here & I love this picture.
My hairdressing took it after a cut and color.
I don't care that my mascara is running because this photo made me happy! 

Today is my 47th Diaversary - And I'm still here. 

47 years of injections; blood sugars rollercoasters, carb counting, always having low treats on my person. 

47 years of wondering; living, laughing, dealing, (sometimes not,) continually learning; doing, becoming. 

Recognizing that diabetes is a part of me - It's a part of my life - the good, the bad - the diabetesaliciousness of it all~ 

Acknowledging that diabetes burnout is not a weakness - it's real; it can be debilitating. 

  

Diabetes can make you sad and frustrated and requires us to get back up - even when we don't want to. And while living with a chronic illness can make us resilient - resilience can be fucking exhausting. 

Reaching out for help can be hard - but we are not alone and we are worth it!

I'm thinking a lot about that little girl 47 years ago - how she missed Halloween - how her parents kept on their game faces when their hearts must have been breaking - but they never let her see it. How she tried to make them laugh at the hospital, but would cry herself to sleep that night because she was scared and sad. 

I'm thinking about both my sisters who passed from t1d complications and t1 medical negligence. I wish things had turned out differently for them... for us. 

I think about how I am the girl who lived and the woman who continues to become. 

I'm grateful for my support system. My family, my friends  - my amazing diabetes family - what all you have done and continue to do for me - I would be so incredibly lost without you!

Every year I create a Gratitude List for my Diaversary - with the number correlating with the number of years I've lived the D life. 

Cheers to number 47  - in no particular order, here's my list of some of the many things in life I continue to find joy in and be grateful for.

1. My nieces and nephews  - THEY ARE MAGNIFICENT
2. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
3. Nailing the bolus for the ginormous gelato I had last Saturday night
4. The magical properties of red lipstick
5. Hoka Bondi's  - If you know, you know. If you don't, give them a try
6. Dogs. Dogs are the best
7. Music. I'd be lost without music. Currently on rotation: Black Violin, Duran Duran, Poe, The Wonder Woman Sound Track, Anything Taylor's version 
8. Speaking of Duran Duran, INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL for my friend, G gifting me 8th row tickets to see Duran Duran last Saturday night - THEY WERE AMAZING
9. Chai Tea
10. Tea in general
11. Strong coffee with oatmilk & sugar
12. Filling up my car with Regular gas yesterday that cost $2.82 a gallon
13. Cathy & Clark
14. My friends who are family
15. A Dino's sub
16. Red and white wine
17. Smart insulins
18. Grabbing my camera and shooting
19. Walks
20. Swimming in the ocean
21. The ocean
22. Going to the movies 
23. Dinner with friends
24. Dinner with my family 
25. Nailing a carb count
26. Coming pretty damn close to nailing a carb count
27. CGM & insulin pump technology
28. Making/eating soup
29. The beach
30. Shells
31. Singing - I like to sing
32. Performing
33. Writing - I've had writer's block for a while - It finally behind me
34. Naps
35. Traveling  - I love to travel
36. Jewelry in all dimensions
37. Art
38. Photography 
39. Cooking
40. Not having to do dishes
41. Diabetes Meet-ups - They are magic!
42. The men who discovered insulin and saved millions of lives - including my own!
43. My friends kids
44. Sex
45. A night out
46. Massages 
47. YOU. Everyone in the Diabetes Community - online and off. Without your love, support, lessons, laughter  - I don't know where I'd be! THANK YOU for everything. I love you and I am so fucking grateful to have found you! 

Coronavirus: Hey DOC - How You Doing?

Hey DOC  - 

Sorry for the radio silence on the bloggo. 
Like all of you,  I’ve had a lot on my plate and much to take in with what’s going on re: the Coronavirus pandemic. 

Prepping re: supplies - as in food and filling RXs, trying to rearrange work gigs, working from home is not business as usual because life isn't business as usual.  
Focus is hard to come by as of late - FOR EVERYONE.  

I live by myself - it's been hard dealing with what's been going on alone.  
I know I’m not the only one who is struggling with feelings of isolation and loneliness.

I’m worrying. A lot. 

I worry about me, my family, my friends who are family - including my you dearest DOC. 

Worries galore and in all dimensions: Work, income, diabetes, my country-everyone else around the globe dealing with this pandemic. 

Sleep has been crappy, lack of human interactions from less than 6 to 10 feet a part has been rough - but I’m doing it - And I’m staying home as much as I can! 

Every day the news overwhelms us all more than the previous day. 

Seriously guys, this episode of Black Mirror sucks!

And yes, I’m angry and grieving because it didn't have to get to this point.

But it did. We are here.

Not that I've stated all of the above to you  - I feel better!
THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME SHARE. 

Now we need to fight - some of us from our homes/home offices, others from the front lines. 

And every single one of us needs to vote in November - make sure you are registered and continue to triple check your status. 

And WE MUST stay connected and practice self-care. 

Our diabetes online community has always been leading the pack when it comes to connecting in the digital world! It’s almost like we invented it - we didn’t, but you know what I mean! 

Keep connecting! 

Tweet, write, Skype, Zoom, text, phone a friend and use all your digital lifelines on a daily basis. Pick up the phone when a loved one rings - you both will feel better!

Connecting allows us to… well, CONNECT. 
Sharing prevents us from holding it all inside. 
Being able to say things out loud to our selves and others lets us know we are being heard and that makes it easier to focus, feel much-needed normalcy 

I’ve started dividing tasks into increments of time (THANKS Team egg timer and iPhone timer,) and rewarding myself when tasks get moved to the “Completed,” pile.

I'm willing to hunker down for as long as possible and as long as I am able to work from home to stop the spread 

And I am so incredibly grateful to the healthcare workers, cashiers, restaurant workers providing takeout for the masses, grocery store and pharmacy workers, cashiers, postal employees, police, fire, and EMTs - every single person running towards the flames because it's their job. I pray for their safety every night. 

I pray for all of us to stay safe. 

When this all over, I'm hugging every single loved one, friend, and coworker tightly - I’m going to drag my friends out in the sun for drinks and good food. 

And I can't wait. 

Until then, stay safe, stay in touch and let’s stay connected! 
#WeAreInThisTogether

Xo, Kelly

Patient Online Communities, Including The DOC - Fight For Net Neutrality!

“The principle of net neutrality is simple: companies that connect you to the internet must treat all content equally. In policy terms, that means the government ensures internet service providers do not block, slow, or otherwise discriminate against certain content or applications.” Quartz Media, LLC. 

On Thursday, December 14, the FCC votes to repeal and dismantle Net Neutrality laws that are currently on the books.

What does that mean? 

Digital inequality. Imagine being forced to use certain ISP (Internet Service Provider,) in order to surf the net.

Example: Being forced to use Yahoo as your search engine instead of Google, because Verizon owns Yahoo. That’s why Net Neutrality laws are in place. 

Do you really want Companies like Comcast and Verizon to control what parts of the Internet you have access too ? 

Do you really want to pay them more money so you can GOOGLE or tweet? I DON'T. 

Hey, did I mention the newly elected head of the FCC and guy trying to tear down the Net Neutrality laws, Ajit Pait (also the guy making jokes about killing net neutrality and shilling for Verizon,) used to be a an big shot executive from Verizon. 

Dismantling Net Neutrality means no more even playing field  - and not even in the same ball park! 

Small businesses won’t be able to compete with the big ones, and it will become more difficult for people to have access to info on the net - hence denying us freedom of information. 

Not great if you’re in a poor school district, own a small business trying to compete with the big guys, or belong to a ***Patient Community. 

The Diabetes Online Community changed my life for the better - And I know that you feel the same way. 

The value of the connecting online for those of us living with a chronic illness is so incredibly important. 

The Internet not only connects us to valuable info, it connects us to our diabetes peers and consigliaries  -people who understand what it’s like to live with diabetes. The Web helps people with  diabetes and other chronic illnesses find our tribes; our teachers, champions, and our allies.

The Internet gives us our voices to implement change. 

Our voices - our freedom of speech and our freedom to obtain information is THIS CLOSE to being taken away.

Still not sure?  Ok, look to Portugal and Spain. Because they don’t have Net Neutrality, internet providers are now starting to split the internet into packages. 

It’s not a Red verses Blue issue - everyone no matter what side of the fence you sit, will feel the impact. 

How can you help? 

Sidebar: Cutting and pasting directly from facebook and HUGE thanks to John Oliver  - for creating a SUPER easy way to do this⚡️ - like RIGHT NOW: 

1. Go to gofccyourself.com
(the shortcut John Oliver made to the hard-to-find FCC comment page)
2. Next to the 17-108 link (Restoring Internet Freedom), click on "express"
3. Be sure to hit "ENTER" after you put in your name & info so it registers.
4. In the comment section write, "I strongly support net neutrality backed by Title 2 oversight of ISPs."
5. Click to submit, done. - Make sure you hit submit at the end!

THEN: Call, tweet, facebook, and text ( text RESIST to 50409) your lawmakers and tell them to protect Net Neutrality. 

We are running out of time, your voice matters - SPEAK UP AND SPEAK OUT.

Bedtime High Blood Sugars & Finding Comfort & Support Via The DOC ~

I had a late dinner last night -it was a dinner I eat at least once a week - and usually everything is cool. USUALLY.
######
It started out to be a good night, it really did. I was feeling all sorts of peppy and my blood sugar was 125 before dinner - YAY ME. 
Speaking of dinner, it was one of my favorites - a homemade Greek yogurt, cilantro, garlic, jalapeño, spicy dip that yours truly made from scratch, accompanied fresh famers market veggies and Food Should Taste Good, Multigrain Gluten Free Chips. 

I have this very same meal at least week during the summer, sometimes twice a week  - except sometimes the dip is made with huge handfuls of fresh basil or dill instead of cilantro and Cayenne pepper instead of jalapeño. But..., I digress. 
It’s a simple meal that makes me feel like I’m indulging because of exceptional the crunch factor, except I’m not indulging.
 The FSTG chips are easy for me to bolus for - 18 grams of carbs - for 10 chips, times 2 = 36 grams of carbs for the chips. The veggies (sweet peppers, celery and organic carrots,) added extra crunch and yumminess to the mix and very little carbs - not to mention the whole, “being healthy,” thing. 
The Greek yogurt was 7 grams of carbs for 5.3 ounces, which in this case was half the dip.
Normally I bolus between 45 and 50 grams and I’m usually right on target for the rest of the night. 

Except... last night I wasn’t. 

I bolused for/prepped my meal, brought it in front of the TV to eat and yes, I know, I shouldn’t eat in front of the TV, but I wanted to watch episode 5 of the PBS, Masterpiece Theater’s much acclaimed and totally awesome series, Poldark  via the on-demand.
Sidebar: Don’t even get me started on Poldark - I’M OBSESSED. 
A couple hours later I checked my blood sugar and was 220 - not terrible. Not great, but not terrible. 
I gave myself a correction bolus and went about my business. 
An hour later I was ready for bed - I could barely keep my eyes open and I was thirsty. 
Not a great sign in Kelly’s Big Book of D -and probably not your Big Book of D, either. 
So I checked again and my blood sugar was 359.
Then I tested again and it was 361 - And Kelly was not happy. 
In fact I uttered a string of four letter words that would make sailor blush and gave myself a 5.4 unit correction bolus - and of course, as soon as the last unit cleared my insulin pump’s screen, I immediately thought that I should have changed my infusion site BEFORE I gave the correction bolus - even thought the site was less then three days old.
20 some minutes later I tested again and it was 418 - not what I wanted to see. 
I switched out my 2 day old infusion site and gave myself another correction bolus of 2.5 units, tested for ketones (I had a “small,” amount,) drank a huge glass of water and I waited I also peed because high blood sugars and water not only = ketones, they also = peeing like a race horse. But you already know that. 
I was so flipping tired and  I just wanted to go to bed. Actually, I was already in bed and had my meter and test strips next me, the bedroom-lights out, the hallway light on and my iPhone in hand. 
 It was almost midnight and I was afraid of falling asleep before I knew that it was OK to actually sleep. So I logged onto Facebook and posted the following status: 

And as long as I’m being honest, it was great to talk with people who ‘got it” while I waited for my blood sugar to start going down. 

Talking and connecting with others kept me calm, because sometimes - at least in my case, being upset about a high blood sugar can keep that bg elevated. 
Talking with some DOC pals was not only great medicine, it was incredibly comforting. 
Some of the folks in the FB thread were dealing with the same thing, others were dealing with low blood sugars, and some were dealing with normal blood sugars, but knew what I was feeling and offered their comfort because they knew I needed it. 
Some were type 3s and didn’t have diabetes at all, but offered their support just the same. How beautiful is that!
And I appreciated the comfort and the conversation so much. 
Sidebar & FTR: I would have post the others Facebook comments, but I haven’t asked them yet - I don't like to post other peoples thoughts without asking. 

30 minutes later my blood sugar was 369 and things were returning to normal. 
I feel asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow and I woke up with a blood sugar of 101 and feeling like I’d been hit by a truck. 
I also felt damn thankful for the Diabetes Online Community for not only “getting it,” but for being there for and with me when I was feeling alone and at my most vulnerable. 
THANKS GUYS.

Xoxoxo

Dear DOC: Today Marks 7 Years of Diabetes Blogging. THANK-YOU

Dear DOC : 

Today marks 7 years that I’ve been blogging about living with diabetes and I honestly, 

I can’t believe it. 

I can’t believe it’s only been 7 years since I started writing about my life with diabetes.  

Sidebar: Thank-you, Halle.   

By taking that leap into blogging and the online world, I've found an amazing community that has changed my life for the better.

Blogging has given me a community whose citizens I consider friends who are family. 

And this amazing community continues to be there for me - through the good, the bad, and the diabetesaliciousness of it all. 

Because of you I’ve found my voice and my passion, and I've developed a better understanding of myself...and of others. 

YOU taught me to listen and learn form others stories and experiences in life, and life with diabetes. 

Thank you for always inspiring, supporting and teaching me. 

Thank you for me making me smile and allowing me to cry. 

Thanks for encouraging me and giving me a helping hand whenever I’ve been in need of one. 

And thank you for continually challenging me to become a better version of myself. 

In return, I hope that I’ve somehow done the same for you.

I love you, I’m grateful for you and I will always fight for you and have your back. 

Thank you for having mine. 

Together as a community we move mountains - alone we trudge up hills. 

And as always, we are in this together.

I love you guys so flipping much!

Xoxo

k2 

Today's Official Hashtag: #dayofdiabetes

Today and long with so many others in the Diabetes Online Community, I'm participating in the second annual #dayofdiabetes & will attempt to storify the outcome later.  
Everyday in our lives involves diabetes - We never get a day off because diabetes never gives a break. But today is different, because not only is there an official hashtag, but it's pretty cool to see how all of our stories unfold re: diabetes through the various forms of Social Media through that one hashtag. 

For me, getting a visual re: how much time that we as individuals and as a community devote to our diabetes care and how we incorporate D into our daily lives - Sometimes seamlessly, sometimes not at all, is always incredibly impressive because WE DO IT EVERY SINGLE DAY, 25X7 & WITHOUT FAIL. #WEROCK

And I love to see how we encourage one another in our D lives and D care through the various forms of Social Media. 

I'll be chronicling my #dayofdiabetes on twitter, Facebook(personal and blog pages) & maybe even Instagram.

You can learn more about the #dayofdiabetes, by clicking HERE & you can follow along on twitter via #dayofdiabetes.

I encourage you to participate, communicate, and or follow along because today, like  everyday, we are in this together! 

Bgnow 167 w/0.9 units of active insulin & a fresh filled reservoir & I'm finally going to bed. See u in 6 hrs! #dayofdiabetes
— Kelly / Diabetes (@diabetesalish) April 10, 2014

My day with diabetes started early~

A Love Letter Revisited on World Diabetes Day~

I originally posted this on January 19th, 2010 - But I wanted to repost it today because I'm so grateful to Doctors Banting & Best - McCloud to for that matter - And I'm thinking about them a lot today. Because lets face it, if it wasn't for them the Diabetes Online Community wouldn't be here - And the world would be a far less vibrant, interesting & empathetic place. 
Yep, insulin isn't a cure, but it's our elixir of life - And because of these brilliant and caring men who didn't do it for the money, but who did for the people whose lives were slipping away - We must always remember who they were, what they did, how far diabetes care has come and how far it still needs to go~
Bottom line: I love these guys for giving me and the people love the gift of life and the Diabetes Online Community~ 
######

Dear Doctors Banting & Best:

I just wanted to take a moment to Thank-You for giving me the gift of LIVING.

Because of you and your efforts, I've lived past the age of 8.

Instead of being yet another sad memory for parents who lost their child or loved one to an illness that offered no hope, I became a girl who not only lived, but grew up to be a woman who is becoming.

Because of your diligence and hard work, I had many firsts.

My first kiss

My first love

My first heartbreak

Too many firsts to list without leaving so much out.

Because of the gift of your discovery, I was able to live and learn and continue to do so everyday.

I became an Auntie multiple times and learned to love others more than myself.

I attended and graduated college.

I traveled to Europe and saw the wonders of Venice and Paris.

Because of you I was able to discover that I loved books, writing, performing, helping others manage their life with diabetes, and every shade of the color green.

I’ve swum with manatees, and I've climbed the Mexican pyramids on the longest day of the year.

I've worked at jobs I've loved, and I've worked in jobs I haven't.

I was able to see my niece perform on Broadway and cried tears of joy and pride.

And was incredibly grateful and proud.

If you never discovered insulin, I never would have met her, let alone watched her shine on “The Great White Way.”

I've been granted the gift of 12 wonderful nephews and nieces and have been know the joy of seeing each of them grow and become the wonderful & individual pieces of art that they are.

If you hadn’t had your own burning passion to save those of us with diabetes,

I never would have been able to discover my own passions.

I never would have lived, let alone blogged.

I wouldn't have a job helping others with Diabetes.

By your discovery of insulin, I was able to learn what I don’t like - which is also a great gift.

Reaching adulthood has taught me that I’m no fan of FOX News or MTV’s The Jersey Shore.

And that I prefer wine over beer, V-Necks over Crew Necks, and my GPS over a map any day of the week!

Because insulin was discovered, my father was able to have children, and my siblings and I were not only conceived, but saved by your discovery - THANK YOU.

Thank you for not allowing my parents to lose three children and a grandson.

Thank you for giving my oldest sister the gift of motherhood 3 times over.

Thank you for allowing my nephew to graduate Berkley with honors and become a Professor of Literature.

Thank you for allowing both my Aunts and one of my first cousins to become mothers.

Thank you for giving every single one of my friends with diabetes the gift of living life and every single person with diabetes the opportunity to do so!

Thank you for my gifts of strength, tenacity,humor and empathy. 

I strongly believe those traits were greatly enhanced by being a person who lives her life every single day with diabetes.

Sometimes I think in the bustle of life and looking for the cure, we forget that it wasn’t until 1922 that children and adults no longer died when being diagnosed with diabetes.

Up until then, diabetes was a death sentence.

Today diabetes a life sentence- and by “life sentence” I mean the ability to live life to the fullest EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I will admit, there are times in my life when I haven’t taken advantage of the act of living fully.

But now, I relish every moment big and small.

Little moments have just as much meaning as big ones – because I am here to experience them.

Do I want a cure in my lifetime? ABSOLUTELY!

I don’t want anyone else to be diagnosed with my disease. I don’t want another person to suffer mentally or physically because diabetes has entered their lives.

I am ready to say GOODBYE to Diabetes for good!

BUT I am so grateful for the gift of living that was given to me because of you both and

I love you without every having had the privilege of meeting you.

I think of you both everyday- and I say a prayer of thanks.

I want to live my best life not just for me and those I love, but for you.

You're the reason I'm alive.

To not live a great life would be a disservice to me and you - And all those who didn't make it!

I will continue “becoming," and not just for myself, but because really, who am I not to?

I am the girl who lived and is now a woman who IS....and is BECOMING.

And I owe the fact that I am living to you both!

THANK YOU.

Kelly K

This letter was inspired by Drs' Banting & Best. They saved millions of lives and with out them, none of us would be here. Click HERE to read more about them.

But this letter was also inspired by a truly wonderful blog post written by Natural Born Cyborg that you MUST READ. Click HERE and check it out!

4 Degrees Of DOC (Diabetes On-Line Community) Separation~

I felt a little funny writing this post & I wasn't sure how to go about telling this story, so I'm just going to tell you what was told to me.
And that it's about us, all of us in the DOC &  the power of our community - And how Health Care professionals are starting to "get it."  
So please know that by I, absolutely do mean WE, every single one of us in The fantastical DOC!

###### 

This past Friday felt like a Monday from hell at the office - It was crazyhectic - and not in a good way. 

When the work day finally ended,  I literally chilled out. I sat in the house with the air conditioner cranked, and in cotton PJ's and tuned out. I started reading Moira's book and was just about to get totally lost in it when my phone rang. 

My good friend C had called me to catch up. We hadn't talked since before my trip so we had a lot to chat about. We talked about the Children With Diabetes Friends for Life Conference and how amazing  was and how good being with others living the diabetes life made me feel.

We talked about how crazy her week had been and how she couldn't wait to relax. We talked about friends and the weather and how I'd been eating a REDONKULOUS amounts of Outshine Fruit Bars since the heatwave started. 

We talked about getting together sooner rather than later and as we were just about to say our goodbyes, she said: Oh my God, I have to tell you something!

Me: OK, shoot.

C: G (her friend with diabetes who'd just moved to our town last year and who wears a pump and a CGM,) went to see a new Endo on Tuesday and he really liked her.

Me: That's great & I'm so glad to hear that!

C: Yeah, it is - But that's not why I'm telling you. Turns out his new Endo asked him if he knew any other people locally who wore insulin pumps.
Sidebar: But seriously though, how flipping cool is that Endo. 
And at first he was like - No, I don't. But then he was like: Wait a second, I do know someone locally who wears an insulin pump. My friend Kelly Kunik wears an insulin pump. And then the Endo was like: Kelly Kunik, the Diabetes Blogger?? 

And G was like: Yeah.  And then the Endo was like: You need to hangout with her because she can help you connect with a whole group of people online that can offer you support when it comes to living with diabetes. 
It's called The Diabetes Online Community and it's a great thing!

And I was like: Come again??

And then I stopped in my tracks and really thought about it. It wasn't so much that she'd recognized my name, though I'll be honest with you, I was flattered. No, it was much more than that. 

It was that this Endo, who worked for a little out of the way satellite office of a very well known teaching hospital in another state, knew about and recognized the importance of the DOC collectively and as a group - And was telling her patient to get online and get involved. 

And G could have mentioned any number of names in the DOC if he'd known them in real life, and his Endo would have been familiar with them. And to me that was huge - And it's what all of us have been working towards and talking about for so long. 

Support when it comes to living with diabetes is incredibly important. To meet others online who walk in your diabetes shoes is an amazing thing. 

Together we give and get support and encouragement to one another and the loneliness that comes with living with a chronic illness dissipates and is replaced by a feeling of empowerment and confidence. 

People with diabetes are not the experts at treating diabetes, but we are the experts at living and dealing with diabetes, 365 days a year and with no time off for holidays or good behavior. Together, we move mountains.... Alone we trudge up hills. 

And the fact that medical professionals are starting to see how much peer support in the form of Diabetes Blogs, Vlogs, On-line Communities, DSMA, etc., is so incredibly important!

And at that moment all the negative of the day disappeared and was replaced by feelings of hope and acceptance and support.

And that my friends was and continues to be, an incredibly beautiful thing~

FYI: Today is all about #dblogcheck ,as in a "check-in" day!
So if you're checking in - I totally appreciate it and thanks in advance for reading/checking in/ slash stopping by!! Also, I hope today is a happy Monday for you, instead of Monday from hell!