Getting Back To Exercising After An Injury

Ever since I broke the joint of my pinky toe over the summer, (the bone healed, but I developed peroneal tendinitis and had to go to PT,) my exercise has basically consisted of regular day-to-day walking - as in walking around normally and doing “normal stuff - with lots of resting and icing in between, daily stretches and some swimming. 

Luckily, I’ve kept an eye on my food intake, kept my eating healthy (at least for the most part,) and haven’t gained any weight - I’ve even lost a couple of pounds. 

But I’m not loving how my weight has redistributed - even though my jeans are a size smaller than they were last year.

My PT gave me the OK to start light workouts 3 weeks ago. Walking 1.0 to 1.5 miles in my first workout, then adding to it as I start to feel more comfortable. 

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. 

I haven’t done it because I’m afraid. 

My toe feels tender and a little weird sometimes since it no longer lays flat on the ground - because that’s what happens when you fracture the little toe joint the way I did - and I was told that it would heal that way when I went to the Dr. after I broke it.

I’m nervous about exercising and I’m not sure why, but I think it’s because I’m afraid that since it will always look different, it will always feel different. 

And I’m afraid of inflaming the tendons - which is the main I had to go to PT in the first place.

My PT told me that one day I’ll wake up and I won’t even think about it - and I know she’s right. The same thing happen with my CT and trigger surgeries . 

One day I woke up and I didn’t think about using my hands to lift heavy things - I just did it. 

I need to stop thinking and comparing and start DOING  - and not just when it comes to exercise either! But one issue at a time.

Bottom Line: Exercising and breaking into a sweat makes me feel good mentally and physically, it's also good for my diabetes and my heart, not to mention my glutes!

And I need to embrace other forms of exercise, instead of stubbornly focusing on my go-to, which is walking. I need to get on my bike, maybe consider the elliptical, and start up with weights again. Cleaning and organizing the black hole that is my storage closet wouldn't kill me either. 

The simple act of writing about my fears and sharing them with you guys makes me feel better and more positive about the whole sitch.

I'm glad I could talk it out with you guys - thanks for listening and for making me feel better! Xoxo

Me + T1 Diabetes+ Weight Gain+ Insulin Resistance + Metformin ER =

A little over two years ago I started gaining weight - and no matter how much I walked, rode my bike, counted carbs and kept an eye on my plate - I kept gaining weight. 

AND IT SUCKED.

Some of my weight gain was due to me no longer having the metabolism I once had. 
Some of it was due to several rounds of cortisone in the form of shots ( thank you trigger fingers and CT,) and orally( I had a nasty upper and lower respiratory infection in May of 2015,) and the weight that cortisone brings to my person, 
And some of it was due to yours truly developing a resistance to insulin - which I'd had for a while, but which was now dialed up to 11. 

YEP, not only do I not produce insulin, hence the whole, me being a t1 since I was a little girl, but I’ve also become insulin resistant - which I’m told happens after decades of living with type 1 diabetes. YAY ME!

Another signature Kellyism - cortisone tends to sticks to my body for months at a time, requiring me to shoot up a ridiculous amount of insulin for weeks and taking months and months to get back to my regular basal rates.

I’ve figured out the cortisone/insulin dance like Rockstar and I’m not afraid to increase my basals to maintain great blood sugars on cortisone - but I hate that cortisone sticks around in my system for so long. 

But enough was enough and last fall and I started walking between 9 and 15 miles a week - and the damn scale kept going in the wrong direction - and my A1C barely budged. 
And wasn't like I was eating Ben & Jerry's every night - I wasn't. 

Gaining weight and working so damn hard to lose it without success made made me frustrated and depressed. 

On March 15th, 2016, I went to my endo appointment and Dr. J and I had one of our heart to hearts -  I was having hand and wrist surgery in May and I didn’t want to gain any more weight while I was recovering. 

Dr. J mentioned Metformin ER, I mentioned my hair and my fear of losing it. 

Sidebar: The last time I'd given Metformin a try was in 2008 - and I noticed clumps of hair on the carpet. Even though I'm a shedder when it comes to my hair - the clumps on the carpet were beyond normal and I stopped taking Metformin.

And my hair stopped falling out in clumps.

And then I started to cry. 

And Dr. J was great - he told me that we could try some injectables, but that because I was t1, my insurance most likely would not cover them. 

He told me that Metformin ER was different and better than regular metformin - and that price wise, it was cheap. 

Dr. J also felt that it could jump start my metabolism, and it didn’t have to be permanent.  

So we made a deal - I would go on Metformin ER ( Metformin Extended Release - different form the regular metformin I’d tried 8 years earlier,) and if my hair started falling out, I’d stop, ASAP - and Dr. J and I would go to/create plan B. 

I drove home, picked up my RX and started my first round at dinner. 

Sidebar: On March 16th, I received a cortisone shot to pop a ganglion cyst on my palm - I convinced the Dr. to use 1/2 the normal amount of cortisone and twice the amount of saline. The cyst was popped and my blood sugar was only elevated for two weeks.
And on March 20th I tore my quad muscle - and it hurt like hell.  

But back to the Met ER - the first few weeks on Met ER, there were rumbles in my belly for sure - but nothing I couldn’t handle and not nearly as bad as when I'd tried regular Metformin back in 2008. In two weeks the rumblings subsided for the most part.

I also noticed that Metformin ER made me feel fuller, quicker. I’d forgotten about that side effect. 

I travelled for half of April and by May 17th (the day of my hand and wrist surgery,) I’d lost 4.5 lbs. 

By July I was down 9 lbs and I didn’t gain weight while I was in Florida attending Children With Diabetes Friends for Life - and yes, there were some nacho and margarita moments in Florida. 

On July 17th I went back to my Endo - while my A1C had only gone down by a fraction (thank you nasty sinus infection that stayed in my system from late June through mid July,) my labs were great, My weight was down by 9 lbs and my Endo was thrilled. 

Dr. J increased my Metformin ER to 1000 mgs, twice a day and told me he was proud.

The increase caused my stomach to react and the rumblings returned, but were gone quicker the second time around.

In August I bought two new bathing suits - including a red one that made me feel like WonderWoman!  

September rolled in and I was 12 lbs down - and according to my hair dresser (who is also a dear friend, brutally honest, and always has back,) the hair on my head is staying put. 

Sidebar: I take daily biotin and B12 supplements because biotin promotes hair and nail growth and if your b12 is low (which can be one of the side effects of Metormin,) your hair will fall out. 

As of today - I’ve lost 14.5 lbs and my daily insulin intake is down between 9 and 15 units- steadily decreasing in increments since March. 

The most recent insulin decrease happened a few weeks ago, when I started noticing that my daily, 24 hour pump totals were in the mid 30’s. 

5 days in the mid thirties range, followed by a bump up of a couple days in the 40s and then back to the mid thirties. YES, there were a couple middle of the night, kick my ass lows (and one nasty high,) while I readjusted my basal rates. But I did what I had to because that's what people with diabetes do. 

Tomorrow is my Endo appointment - I’m hoping for good labs and a decrease in my a1c . 

And whatever happens, happens - I'm going to keep moving forward. 

Of Weekend Work-Outs, Beautiful Weather & Mostly 'Bitchin' Blood Sugars~

Because this weekend I worked out both days and outside - and it was incredible. 
The weather was amazing and yep I'll say it, it was exhilarating. 
I didn't do a hardcare, kick-my-ass-to-the-curb, workout - One 3 mile mile walk yesterday and a 3.3 mile today. 

Temperatures felt more like late October than December - until the sun started going down, then there was no doubt that it was December. 
And those workouts contributed to the best multi-day blood sugars in... well,.. I don't know, because I'm not quite sure, but like a while. WHATEVER.

And now yours truly is ready to go to bed because fresh air + working out = sleepy time. 

But because of DIABETES throwing a bitchswitch, and even with my insulin pump's temporary basal rate reduced by half for most of the afternoon and all of this evening, my blood sugar is now 80 with 1.10 units on board. 

But Im not going to stress - I'm going to do.  
I'm going to knock back the rest of my juice, then eat a cheese stick, wait for my numbers to go up, and hit the sack. 
And I'm going to be thankful because I don't feel like being in bitch mode.
I don't feel like getting mad or frustrated - I'm not in the mood. 
 Today was a good day and I'm thankful for the beautiful weekend; the workouts, the sights and the mostly bitchin blood sugars. 

Fun At The Fall Festival

Because I love the Fall Festival - And I love friends who encourage me to get moving and love me even if I don't.  And I've learned as of late that it's OK to go with the flow and indulge in the bolus worthy without going totally batshit and making myself feel guilty~
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Over the weekend my town had their yearly Fall Festival. Two days of fun in the sun and  on a main drag that was shut down to cars,( except for yummy food trucks,) and filled with a quarter a mile of booths from local and not so local artists, businesses and the likes there of. 
There were kiddie rides and dunking booths, a beer garden and a stage for live bands. 
And there was a hell of a lot of walking, laughing, eating and drinking going on. 

The festival was a place where you could literally run into old friends you haven’t seen in years and make new ones because they were standing next to you- and everyone has a great time. 
Between you and me, I LOVE the Fall Festival - even though it means saying so long to summer. 
And also between you, me, and the interwebz, with the encouragement of some friends this summer (you know who you are,) I’ve worked very hard to get moving again and eat cleanly 80 % of the time. 
The steroid weight I gained from May’s severe upper respiratory infection from hell, was taking it’s own time leaving my person and it was frustrating and depressing.
So when I finally got my ass back on the scale last week after a 4 week break from my weekly weigh-in, I saw that the scale was going in the opposite direction and that I’d lost 6 pounds. Yep, I was thrilled!
But back to the festival:  I spent all afternoon and into the evening on Saturday, at the Festival with friends. We walked for hours, laughed even longer, and dined on foods weren't all low in carbs.
Lunch was a grilled Kobe Cheese Dog, loaded with ketchup, onions and mustard  - and it was the first hotdog I’d had in maybe a year. 
It was made from Kobe beef, so it was healthier than most hotdogs and it was delicious. 
Then we sampled spicy hot pickles (FREE FOOD,) and enjoyed copious amounts of maple and cocoa covered almonds. 
Dinner included fresh mussels in a fantastical red sauce that was loaded with garlic and accompanied by fresh baked Italian bread and immediately followed by a slice of gourmet pizza that was piled high with veggies and washed down with 2 glasses of Cabernet. 
I didn’t worry about the calories or the carbs, I checked my blood sugar and bolused accordingly - and I enjoyed myself.
I reminded myself that I’d walked for hours that afternoon and had participated in a three hour yoga meditation workshop the night before. 
I also told myself that continuing to move and being flexible when it came to food was working for me - And that everyone needs and deserves to live in the moment every now and then - and even if they have diabetes. 

So did my blood spike after the pizza and even with the temporary basal rate? 
Of course it did, but it went down again with a correction bolus. 

Do I regret my food choices I made at the Fall Festival? Nope, not a bit. 

But DAMN if I'm not still craving those delicious mussels in that fantastical garlicky red sauce ;) 

In Need Of Lemons And A Much Needed Walk~

Some days are hard for reasons that have nothing to do with diabetes. 
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I looked at the clock - it was 6:30 pm and I needed lemons because I’d been craving a tomato salad with olive and lemon dressing all day.  I was also in need of a walk because my head was about to explode. 

It was one of those days where every conceivable thing that could go wrong, did. 
Frustrations greeted me from every corner and location  - including my inbox. 
On top of it, I was sad because I'd been thinking and missing some people in my life that were no longer here - and I felt alone. 
I put on my asics nimbus gels; checked my blood sugar (it was 182,) dialed back my insulin pump to a temporary basal rate of 60%, grabbed a small recycled shopping bag that converted into a backpack and tossed some money and a kind bar in there. 
Then I clipped my iPhone to my left hip, and with my insulin pump clipped to my right hip, I put on my headphones and I walked.... and I walked. 
I walked towards the setting sun and away from the days problems and fears. 
I listened to music - an eclectic mix of upbeat songs - until Patty Griffin’s “Making Pies,” came into the rotation. I skipped that beautiful song entirely, because even though I love Patty Griffin & the song - it’s incredibly sad and I didn't want to hear it. 
I kept walking and a 1.5 miles later I started to feel better. 
And I kept walking.  
Finally, I made my way to the grocery store, bought my lemons, threw them in my bag, walked out of the store and you guessed it, I kept walking. 
At 8pm, I walked to and in my front door - and I felt like a different person.
My blood sugar was holding study at 122. 

But the walk wasn’t about getting a lower blood sugar, it was about walking to clear my head and to feel better - the 122  blood sugar was an added plus that made me smile ~

Diabetes Vlog: Long Walks, Fitness Classes Or Yoga - My 'Old Reliable' For Workouts~

I'm still dealing with the whole foot tendinitis thing & have to keep the long walks really short. This short term low to no impact is driving me a little crazy & I all I want to do is walk for miles and miles and miles. 

Instead, I decided to vlog about my must have diabetes accessory during my long walks, (or yoga or fitness classes for that matter,) with the hopes that they will be happening again very soon.  

It's a one shot vlog so there's no editing; it's a bit goofy, slightly askew and far from perfect - But the same can be said of me! #dorkalert

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Good Times, Good People, Good Words, Good Tears~

Life ain't a track meet - It's a marathon.  - Ice Cube

Knowledge is in the end is based on acknowledgement~  Ludwig Wittgenstein

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I was playing catch-up with my sister on the phone Sunday night, we hadn’t talked in a few weeks and it was good to hear her voice. 

I was telling her about my last minute decision to attend the Isulindependence Philadelphia Weekend/Sports Symposium on Saturday & how I’d had a wonderful time & had learned a lot. I also mentioned how great it is to meet-up with old D friends in real life and to finally meet a few D friends I’d only previously only known online, and how inspiring being in a room full of diabetes sports-heads had been.  

,

 I said to my sister: It’s hard to figure out the dynamics of working out and not having your blood sugar crash - And don’t even get me started on the whole weigh loss aspect of working out with diabetes, of diabetes with pretty much everything. It’s such a delicate scientific clusterfuck of a diabetes dance - And It’s hard. 

Hearing other PWDs who not only 'get it', but share my same frustrations made me feel so better about myself and my potential. And Cath, a lot of them were kickass endurance athletes! And the speakers at the conference had so much great info on how to handle diabetes when it comes to working out . 
The whole thing seriously inspired me to get back to my former BrickHouse Status. 

My Sister: I bet it did - I don’t know how you do it - How you juggle diabetes with everything - I give you and your friends so much credit for that.

My sister's my biggest fan and one of my strongest supporters - She’s always there for me and is always proud of me, but hearing her say those words make me choke up.

And then she said: And I’m so glad you have other people who understand what you go through when it comes to diabetes. I’m here for you, ALWAYS, but I’ll never know what it’s like to have diabetes - They do.  

And then my bro-in-law called my sister from the other room and apparently their dog (who's been having some major health issues,) got into the kitchen trash and most likely had eaten a bunch of things she shouldn’t have & my sister had to join him and figure out just how much potential gastrointestinal damage to the pup was done. 

So we said our goodbyes & our “I love you's" and hung up. 

I stared at the phone for a minute and then the tears started to fall down my cheeks.

Not sad tears, not joyful tears, but good tears. Tears of.... I don’t know... maybe tears of gratefulness for the acknowledgment & understanding. 

Anyway - It was a great end to a weekend that was chock full of good times, good friends, good words, good info and yes, good tears.

Also: If Insulindependence hosts a weekend in your neck of the woods, GO. 

I guarantee that you’ll learn a few things and meet a lot of awesome pwds in the process! 

Movement.... 42 Days Later

It's been 42 days since I've started the 4 times a week of movement (working out) for no less than 45 minutes a pop, and I've noticed a few things:
1. My daily amount of insulin (for the most part,) has gone down  - Except of course for those times when it's gone up.
2. Riding my bike is a hell of a lot of fun!
3. I find myself changing my abdominal infusion sets more often - And I think it's because my workout skort (a workout skirt with built in shorts & so much more flattering then workout shorts,) is causing friction right where my infusion site is. Has anyone else experienced going through infusion sets like crazy when they workout?
4. I feel happier after I work out.
5. I feel more awake after a workout, which has the potential to be a really great thing.
But right now....not so much. I'm working out after work and I have a rough time falling asleep at night to begin with, and working out makes it even more difficult.
6. I don't know if I've lost any weight because quite frankly, I haven't gotten on the scale. Moving four times a week in the cardio sense wasn't just about weight, it was about being healthy and fit. But I did try on last years jeans and they look good!
7. It's a lot easier to workout when you don't think of it as an actual workout.

So has anyone else experienced a new found appreciation for "moving," and if so how did you/ do you keep the momentum going?
For those in the know, how does one winterize their bikes? Does one winterize their bikes?
And finally, how the heck to I force myself to get up before work to "move?"

Wordless Wednesday: Little Ripples = Big Waves... And Smaller Daily Totals~

Here's the thing - I used to workout a lot, so I know what exercise can do for your blood sugars, insulin daily totals, etc. But I obviously needed a visual reminder!

And for the record, now that i've stated out loud to the entire Diabetes On-line Community that my daily totals haven't gone above 39 in three weeks, I have no doubt that my streak will end almost immediately!

It's called #murphyslawdiabetesstyle ;)

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I've been working out since the end of August at least 4 times per week and I've noticed a drop in my insulin "Daily Total" rates. 

I haven't gone above 39.5 units a day in at least 3 weeks - And here's visual proof of the last 13 days. 

Little ripples = big waves.. And victories, both big and small~