My Insulin Pump Gives Me Comfort

Diabetes technology helps to save our lives and improves our quality of life. 
But diabetes technology also gives us comfort. And I swear to God, sometimes I reach for my insulin pump like a child reaches for their favorite blanket or stuffed animal and I'm not even aware I'm doing it... And that's cool because it is comforting. 
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My insulin pump has become a part of me - an extension of myself - so much so, that when I'm not wearing it for an extended period of time, either by choice or by force - I'll still reach for it out of both comfort and security.

Since I wear my insulin pump almost 24X7, I find myself myself reaching for my insulin pump automatically, without thinking, and for no reason at all except... well, it’s comforting - and subconsciously, reaching out for my insulin pump comforts me.

I sometimes place my hand on my pump while watching television and I’m not even aware that I’m doing it. Other times I purposely check to see if my pump is clipped to my hip while walking from the start of my driveway to the car... just in case. 

There are moments when I’ll hold a small piece of insulin pump tubing between my thumb and pointer finger while chatting on the phone and twirl it gently and mindlessly, like some people twirl their hair.  And there are times when I unintentionally feel for the infusion site lump under my shirt and feel for a bit of the tubing with a slight quick of hand - and no one at the dinner table is the wiser. 

On occasion I find my pump tubing still connected, but I find my actual insulin pump in places I don’t even remember putting it, because dealing with diabetes and my pump has become part of my cadence. 

There have been instances when I’m down right surprised to find my electronic pancreas bungee pumping from my lap to the floor when I get up from the couch/desk, because I’d checked my IOB (insulin on board,) and didn’t re-clip i because l was lost in a really good movie, book, or DSMA chat.  

It’s funny the how we have diabetes idiosyncrasies that give us comfort, even when we aren’t aware that we need it. 

Diabetes Weirdness: Who Put My Insulin Pump On The Table?

I'm a little weird and diabetes is a lot weird - I shouldn't even be surprised anymore...but I am. 

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Last Saturday night I was sitting around a friend’s dinning room table eating salsa and chips and chatting about all sorts of non diabetes related things with my cohorts. 
Things like the weather, our families, the Republican Debate (don’t even get me started,) when midway through the conversation my insulin pump made a series of beeps to the tune of “FYI: your insulin pump is set to a temporary basal rate.” 
Now I know that annoying but necessary tune very well and normally it becomes white noise, until I decide to hit the “snooze”/ACT button.
Without skipping a beat in the convo, I unclipped my pump from my hip; pressed ACT, boluses for 2.5 units of added insulin protection for the chips and salsa, placed my insulin pump on the table and promptly ignored it - and my friends didn't even bat an eye. 

But here's where things get a little weird: I didn’t even realize I’d put my pump on the table, so an hour later when I got up to leave, my pump damn near bungi-pumped off the table and onto the floor, but I caught it just in time. 
Again - I was completely unaware that I’d placed my pump on the table instead of clipping it on my hip. 
OK, sometimes I keep my insulin pump next to my laptop when I'm writing for easy access, but that's for another blog post. 

FTR, every now and then I find myself forgetting to clip my pump back on after I fiddle with it - but that particular insulin pump faux-pas usually occurs when I’m sitting alone on my couch, engrossed in a movie or the Downton Abbey season finale - not eating chips and shooting the shit with friends.
Sidebar: My blood sugar was 135 when I got home - so it wasn't blood sugar related. 

Anyway - I thought I'd share this bit of Kelly/diabetes weirdness with you - and I really hope you can relate, because it's no fun being the only D weirdo out there~ 

Diabetes & Weird Worries.

Today is #dblogcheck day, where we stop lurking and leave a comment on the blogs - The comment can be as simple as "dblogcheck," "check," or whatever floats your proverbial boat~
Living with diabetes has the potential to make everyday things weird and worrisome - if you let it - And try as I might, sometimes I let the weird worries get the best of me.  Here are few examples of my D weird worries as of late - I'm hoping at least some of you might be able to relate to them.
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Last night I was baking, what I was told red skinned sweet potato at 400 degrees in the oven, while sautéing chicken on the stove top. 
When I opened the oven door to check on the potato, I was hit by a wave of heat and ended up clipping my insulin pump to the back of my pants because I was afraid that the heat from the oven would cook my insulin. Then I was worried that I’d already cooked the insulin in my pump because I’d been standing in front of the oven for at least 15 minutes. 
Seriously, am I the only one who thinks that way? 
And then when I took said sweet potato from the oven and split it open, the inside was white. It was a sweet potato for sure, but it was white not orange.

1. I was totally confused
2. I was immediately worried about the glycemic index 

After googling for a good 15 minutes, I found out red skinned sweet potatoes are indeed white inside. 
But I couldn’t find any relevant info on the subject (except that white sweet potatoes lack the beta carotene of the orange sweet potato,) so I ended up eating a quarter of the potato instead of the half I’d originally decided on - Did I mention that it was big ass sweet white potato? 
I didn’t feel like dealing with the carb count or worrying about the potential spike. 
But I spiked big time anyway because then I went all sorts of apeshit crazy and ate a big fat sugar cookie with icing from Starbucks - which I bloused 50 carbs for. 
But did the big ass sugar cookie cause me to spike, or had I cooked my insulin from the 400 degree oven? Or was my spike caused by the crazywhite sweet potato? 
Perhaps it was a trifecta of all three or did my diabetes just flip its bitchswtich?  
So yeah, what should have been a quick and simple grilled chicken salad with a side of sweet potato & a dessert ended up being anything but. 
Also: Something’s in the air re: me and sweet potatoes. The other night I bought again, what I thought was a sweet potato, but it ended up being a yam. 
Sweet potatoes and yams are not the same thing, no matter what the nice man at my neighborhood bodega says. 
Also: Yams are gross. 

Speaking of cooking, I like to watch cooking shows -and maybe when I'm alone in my kitchen, I make pretend to have my own... or not. OK, I absolutely do. 
But I digress.I like to learn new ways of preparing foods. & experience new ingredients and flavors - because I love food. 
Here’s the thing: Halfway through the segment, my focus almost always shifts from the recipe, to the meal’s carb counts, serving size and 9 times out of 10, the chef’s cholesterol. 

I love The Pioneer Woman and nobody loves cheese more than I do, but I worry about her - And that’s my issue, not hers. Ree's doing a kickass job with her family, her life, her ranch and her blog! 
But living with type 1 diabetes for the 37 years automatically makes me see numbers; blood sugar, cholesterol, carb/fiber counts on my plate, instead of the food. 
And diabetes has given me all sorts of "food quirks", annoying food quirks.

Diabetes weird worries aren't limited to food - please feel free to share yours. 
No judgement here  - we are in this together - And we're all weird in our own way~