Dear Diabetes Math:
You make my freaking head spin!
After a challenging day of carbs, blood sugars, and diabetes finances thrown into the mix, I barely know my name; let alone what my carb/ insulin ratio is.
Math has never come easy to me. I was a little girl who preferred books, not numbers.
In the 4th grade, division threw me for a loop, but I didn’t care (OK, I cared more than a little-I didn't like feeling stupid,) but I was to busy reading “Little Women.” I wanted to be Jo and write stories in a garret, while munching on carb friendly apples.
In High School, a D in Algebra made me ineligible for a lead in the school play my Junior Year- it was the first time I’d ever suffered from a true broken heart.
It was the anxiety of the potential fail in math that did me in, not necessarily the math it self.
My family was falling apart because of my sister's health.
I literally psyched myself out and got so nervous during the test I'd start to tear up.
I was much more confident in my words.
Senior year I won college Scholarship based on an essay I wrote.
Words have always come easy to me- editing & numbers have not.
You know I was a Litt/ Comm major in college, right?
Yet every single day, I’m forced to calculate your equations, with the help of my every trusty Bolus Wizard and my OCD like affinity for reading labels.
Because of you I’ve become an expert at dividing by 12 and 15.
Because of you I’ve become a Diabetes Math Savant and can no longer look at piece of bread with out automatically paring it with protein and guestamating its carb count.
Diabetes math has made me a clock watcher- especially when my numbers are high.
I watch the clock and test like a crazy woman hoping my numbers are going south.
Testing my blood sugars has become an addiction that I won't give up.
Diabetes Math has turned me into a frugalista when it comes to my Diabetes supplies.
If an infusion set doesn’t work from the get go, you can be damn sure I call up Minimed and ask for a credit.
Diabetes Math regarding my prescriptions has put me into debt.
I’m constantly testing my blood sugars- thank God I can get them via mail order.
I pay $138 for two bottles of insulin a month- out of pocket, before the reimbursement- because I'm not allowed to get my insulin mailed to me door.
Until I get a better job, I’m stuck with a crappy RX plan. Thank God for my Endo who believes in samples!
But every cloud has a silver lining, including you Diabetes Math.
Because of the magic of your calculations, nothing is off limits and my numbers are good and Blood Sugar Nirvana is always within reach~
Now, if we could just find a cure, so we could retire your services for good.
Until then, the calculations and begging for samples will continue, because I have no choice but to be healthy.
My very life depends on it- and I'm worth it!