Dearest Pancreas

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Dearest Pancreas –

Hey, how bout those Islet of Langerhans???

OK, my apologies, it just that every time I get uncomfortable or nervous I tend to crack inappropriate jokes.

And as of late, I've come to realize that I’ve never really acknowledged you since the whole Islet of Langerhans fiasco.

Except when I refer to you as broken and imperfect.

I’m sorry.

We’ve never actually talked. OK, you’re my pancreas, you can’t talk, but you know what I mean.

I do think about you, and yes, I refer to you as broken and unfixable. I’m sure that hurts to hear, but I have to be honest; it hurts to say it.

And yes, a big part of my wonders what caused you to go all-medieval on my Islet of Langerhans all those years ago.

Did I do something to piss you off? Seriously, what could an 8 year old do to cause you to react in such away??

Did my DNA’s double helix sound a death knoll that was only meant for your Islets?

I'll answer my own question: YES it did, but why?

Did God have a different plan for others and me like me?

I stopped asking those questions a long time ago, and got on with the business of living.

But even though I stopped asking WHY, I was still scared of what my future might hold, and yes, that was directly because of you.

But after what seemed like forever, I got tired of holding a grudge against our combined imperfections and embraced them instead.

I’m over the blame game, you and I are on the same team, and together we make up part of the wonderfulness known as Kelly Kunik’s imperfect endocrine system.

You’ve taught me to see the beauty in nature’s imperfections, and by doing so; you’ve allowed me to see the beauty in my own imperfections. THANK YOU.

There are plenty of times when I wished you worked, but because a part of you doesn’t, I’ve learned to become attuned with my (our) body’s own idiosyncrasies.

At times your lack of insulin production has caused me to work harder to just “be.”

I wish science would find away to make us become whole once again.

But we are Team Kunik and I love and respect you.

Thank you for doing the very best you can 24 X 7.

Thanks for hustling and working with what you got.

And thanks for teaching me to do the same.

Love,

Kelly K