Tuesday, October 5, 2010



There are moments of frustration, like when my blood sugar refuses to go down, no matter what I do.

There are moments of sadness – when I think of those that are no longer living their diabetes lives. The sadness causes me to catch my breath, my eyes well up with tears, and my voice cracks and I struggle for composure....

The sadness turns into anger and fuels my fire to find a cure.

There are moments of happiness that turn can into hours, which can turn into days – like diabetes meet-ups and the hours I spend reading diabetes blogs that show me I’m not alone.

There are scary seconds that turn into minutes that seem as if they last forever.

Like when my low blood sugar leaves me shaking and sweating and reaching for food in a blind fear fueled by the “ diabetes what-ifs?”

These are longest moments of my life and leave me spent and discouraged.

There are momentary lapses of reason which usually involving pasta.

These momentary lapses of reason usually lead to diabetes inertia which make me feel like I'm walking through JELLO

There are momentous moments pertaining to pizza and or cupcakes & achieving Blood Sugar Nirvana.

There are moments of acceptance - More than moments, because I accepted my diabetes a long time ago. Diabetes acceptance has turned into diabetes ownership.

And there are those moments in between where I’m not aware of the diabetes monkey on my back- because it’s been it’s there longer than it hasn’t – it’s become part of me.

But the moment I hear of a newly diagnosed person with diabetes – acceptance goes out the window and the diabetes monkey on my back breaks my heart and makes me fight even harder.

But whatever the moment is - I know I'm not alone in the moment.


Reyna said...

Beautifully written.

Brenda F. Bell said...

As with everything, there is the happy and the sad, the pleasant and the painful.

I know you have experienced more pain than most, and that informs each new report of someone hanging on by the thread of injectable insulin, hoping for a cure.

On the day it is found, on the day that Patient Zero is restored to normal pancreatic function, on the day the last person with autoimmune genes is vaccinated against ever having an autoimmune disease, those who have died during the wait will rejoice.

"And all the angels in Heaven shall sing..."

Ashley Rose said...

This is absolutely beautiful, k2. Thank you for writing it.

sfincham said...

Well done and well said, very graceful.

Heidi / D-Tales said...

What a moving post!