The meter flashed the number 46 as I stood there, leaning against my shopping cart at the TJMaxx/HomeGoods super store, and I tried to figure out my next move.
I’d already eaten a Kind Bar and I quickly downed another one and suspended my insulin pump.
I was sweating and shaking and the square footage I’d have to cover in order to get to the register where the sodas were seemed to be at least football field away.
I stood there somewhere between the Girls aisle and Women’s Sportswear and tried to keep it together.
I was sweating, like really sweating and I had no doubt that I looked like a hot mess.I watched the clock on my phone for a good 10 minutes before I tested my blood sugar again.
the number 54 appeared & I didn’t feel comforted, I actually felt worse.
I had two more KIND bars in my handbag, and quickly downed KIND bar number three and silently said a prayer of thanks to the local store I’d purchased them at the day before.
I wheeled my cart as quickly and as steadily as I could towards the registers and my blood sugar savior - the red Coke fridge holding the ice cold sodas.
I saw the green sprite bottles and I needed one immediately.
But just as I was within arms length of grabbing a Sprite, I was quickly soda blocked by a mom and her little girl, who, and out of no where, had planted themselves firmly in front of the fridge’s door. I uttered, “excuse me I need to get a soda,” without even looking at them, grabbed a twenty ounce bottle of Sprite and cracked it open.
I drank a big swig and made my way towards the patio furniture display just past the registers and by the front doors.
And there I sat for a good twenty minutes - trying to pace myself with the Sprite and wrap my head around what had just happened.
I hadn’t felt the 46 low come on until I did and the number had literally and figuratively thrown me for a loop.
I was alone and I wasn’t wearing my medical ID bracelet and the whole “what could have happened,” made my eyes burn and start to leak - OK, maybe the low blood sugar had something to do with that, too.
I breathed and closed my eyes - I couldn’t get upset about what I didn’t do - I needed to focus on what I did do - And I needed to stay calm and stay the course.
I thought about the beach and the ocean waves and how calm they made me feel.
I thought about swimming out towards the pier and diving under the waves.
I thought about the sounds of waves and gulls and I felt better.
A few minutes later I checked my blood sugar again and it was 89.
I took few more sips of soda, got up, went to the register and paid for my soda.
The woman at the register looked at me and said: Is this all your getting?
Me: Yep, it’s exactly what I needed.
And that opened, half finished bottle Sprite sat in my car for a week - just in case, before I could bring myself to tossing it in the trash.