Some days my diabetes gets all Katy Perry and roars continually with a loud, annoying, ear worm of a chorus that seems stuck on a never ending loop of WTF, complete with a glucoaster ride of blood that shows up out of nowhere and stays until it decides to depart.
The glucoaster ascends to the highest of highs, teetering precariously atop the highest loop for what seems like forever, then quickly descends to the lowest of lows, causing my stomach to drop even faster.
And lets not forget the equal parts of sideways; upside down, and backwards that D has thrown into the glucoaster mix, just because it can.
In those units of time, diabetes not only throws me for a loop, it leaves me shaking, tired, and worn out from the ride - and not in the good way.
And on those days that I wear my “I’m Fine,” mask like a champ and few people outside the world of D know how I’m really feeling.
Other days, my diabetes whispers quietly and plays all nice in the corner and barely making a peep - except for alerting me to a low or high - mimicking my much loved childhood friend G, who rarely talked unless she had something important to say.
Then there are the strange, eerie -but in a good way, few and out of the blue days, when it seems like the Ghost of my Pancreas Past has shown up from who the hell knows where, accompanied by the poltergeist of my long dead and gone Islet of Langerhans.
And for those few days it's as if my glucose numbers freakishly resembles someone with a fully functioning pancreas.
My temp basal rates run 1/2 their normal rates and bolusing for bread becomes a breeze.
But just as quickly as it appeared, my ghost pancreas fades to black and leaves without saying goodbye.
And on those oh so rare, Ghost of my Pancreas Past days, become part myth; legend, and mystery of my life - and my life with diabetes.
Also, I'm weird, or maybe I'm just crazy, but whatever.