This Is My Brain: This Is My Brain On Diabetes - And Sometimes It's Exhausting

Diabetes is so damn different every day and at every turn - it's a goddamn crapshoot!

For example, 3 days ago I filled up a new omnipod with 150 units of insulin (180 unit is normally too much,/as in too wasteful for me,) and placed it on my side boob.

95% of the time, boob sites work really well for me. 

This boob site is working exceptionally well. 

We’re talking almost a solid flatline on my Dexcom for the past 72 hours, except for normal post-meal spikes and 3 actual low blood sugars. 

All of the above had me seriously thinking: Oh my God, did somebody kickstart my pancreas and neglect to tell me?

Anyway, pod expires in two hours, at 6:11 pm tonight. 

I currently have 36 units in my pod. Even if I keep it in for an additional 3 hours (half the 6 hour grace period after the time on your pod officially runs out,) and bolus for my dinner, I’ll still have more than 31 units left. 

Do I really want to start a new pod at almost 10 pm at night and post-meal? 

I DO NOT. 

WHY? Because then I’ll have to stay up and make sure everything is copasetic with my new site/pod. If it isn’t  - I have to start the process all over again. I have to work tomorrow - I don't want to be up super late!

Not to mention the fact that if I change out this pod late night tonight, that means in all probability, I'll have to change out the next pod late at night- unless I can sync my morning alarm with the 6 hour grace period and make sure I have enough insulin in said pod during that grace period. Or I run out of insulin before the pod times out. Or an occlusion alarm goes off. 
Or 390 other different diabetes wrenches getting thrown into the equation.
This isn't projecting, this is what is required for those of us wearing diabetes robotical parts. 
SIGH. 

If I put less insulin in my new pod, there’s a 50% chance that diabetes will switch it’s bitch-switch and I’ll go through my normal 150 units in less than 72 hours and will have to change out my site early - unless of course, that doesn’t happen. 

Again - who the hell knows what will be required from a new infusion site and no matter what brand of robot pancreas you’re using. YES, the same happens with tubed pumps.

Or like... do I put less insulin in the new pod and do correction injections from the remaining insulin in my previous pod? 

For fuck sake, insulin is the 5th most expensive insulin on the planet and I don’t want to waste it!

Yeah, this is only a small portion of the mostly necessary and seriously annoying diabetes minutia that runs through people living with diabetes minds and on a daily basis. 

This is also why when a healthcare professional asks me how much insulin I take a day I look at them with daggers in my eyes. OK, maybe not daggers - especially if they're nice. But I definitely channel my inner 13-year-old self and roll my eyes at them and I'm all like, WHATEVER.

Every day with diabetes is different - and requires a different amount of insulin - and for dozens of different reasons. And there are dozens if not hundreds, maybe thousands, (but for real it feels like MILLIONS,) of different diabetes scenarios having nothing to do with site changes or insulin or carbs.  

AND SOMETIMES IT'S GODDAMN EXHAUSTING. 

This my brain. This is my brain on diabetes.  

This spot-on cartoon was created by the amazing Haidee Merritt.
To see more of her work, laugh your butt off and maybe buy her books,  click HERE.