Friday, February 19, 2010

Head Games & CGM Wishes

This morning when I was driving to work, I suddenly wondered if I had left my blood sugar meter and test strips on the kitchen counter next to the coffee maker.

Ever since the whole 1 and a million episode, I MUST keep my eyes on the road at all times,so checking in my bag was out of the question.

I couldn't turn around and drive back home, because I wouldn't get to work on time.
I could stop at the CVS near work, but then I'd have to buy not only a meter and new strips and that made me even more unhappy because I have at least 3 meters at home and a drawer full of test-strip vials!

I started playing the game of "What -If" combined with the game of "How was I Going To?" for a combined game of "WTF Kelly?"

What if I left my testing supplies on the counter next to the coffee maker?

How was I going to test throughout the morning?

WTF Kelly? How could you be so stupid as to leave your supplies on the counter?

And then I started thinking about a CGM, and how if I had one- I wouldn't be freaking out quite as much because I'd have some indicator as to what my body was doing sans meter.

I'd tried Dexcom's 3 years ago for a 10 day trial and I really liked it, but at the time, my insurance wouldn't cover it.

I'm still having nightmare insurance issues - and now with the economy the way it is, my money is tight and right now, a CGM is a wish - not a reality.

I started to get mad and angry at myself for being so stupid. I started cursing my eye for forcing me to always look at what I was doing at that very moment instead of being able to glance in my bag for just a second.

But then I calmed myself and continued on with the games.

What if I did forget my meter and strips? I'd stop at CVS, bight the bullet and spend the money. And then I'd keep that meter in my work bag at ALL times.

That answered the "How was I going to test throughout the morning? " question and I was calm.

When I arrived at work, I parked my car looked in my bag, opened my red "tester/test strip/lipstick case and saw both my tester & test strips, as well as my many lipsticks and glosses all nestled in nicely.

Which of course brought me back to the "W.T.F Kelly? question.

And my answer to that? : THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!


Rachel said...

We play the "what if" game from time to time with the meter and other supplies. It's not fun.

George said...

I get so mad when I forget my stuff but it happens. No more hating. Diabetes sucks and with all the crap we have to lug around, it is a surprise it doesnt happen more often.


Cara said...

I have had that very thing happen to me more than once...however it helps because I live 0.2 miles from work. Makes it a quick trip back to get it.

Unknown said...

I often do that, leaving my black "man purse" at home or even somewhere not easily accessible. Even though it's my preferred one, I do keep an extra meter in my desk at work just in case. Has helped on occasion.

Anonymous said...

Glad it was with you. It's such a habit you don't even remember doing it (which I do all the time - it shocks me all the things I do that I have no recollection of).

The Piquant Storyteller said...

I think we all can relate to your story. I have to say that I finally have an insurance company that will pay for a CGM. I got it and hate it. The technology is still new so I shouldn't be so unhappy about it. It is usually about 20 minutes off so I recognize lows before I get the warning from the CGM and my endo only looks at the data from the CGM so he thinks I'm lying when I tell him I have lows at certain times of the day. I haven't worn it the last 2 months for that reason. Plus, I test more often when I wear the CGM than I do without it. Just my 2 cents on CGM's.

Katie from SF said...

Ugghh I hear you, I have been fighting my insurance company for at least a year now to get a CGM. I am a perfect candidate and yet they refuse to give me one.

Anyway... I am glad you had your tester and strips. And try not to get down on yourself. I know, easier said then done, but we all have enough to deal with already. :)

Anonymous said...

I had the CGM for quite a while actually. It is horrible! I never want to do that again!

Nici said...

I have left my meter next to the coffee pot more times than I can remember. My newest solution is the Sidekick. It is a disposable meter built into a bottle of 50 test strips. You do have to buy lancets, but it still tends to be cheaper than a regular meter plus the box of strips. The last time I bought one it was about $25-$30. I usually get it at Walmart near my work (because that is usually where I am when I realize that I don't have my kit!)

Jasmine said...

I'm a newly diagnosed Type 1 (and a new reader!) and I'm finding myself forgetting things far too often. I'm hoping I improve soon.

Unknown said...

I can't begin to recount how many times that scenario has happened. TGIF, indeed!

Scott S said...

K2, I had a very similar experience a few weeks ago where I actually thought I lost my meter and my entire bag ... I ended up buying another one that I'll keep in my office desk drawer as a backup ... as it turned out, my bag fell behind my desk, but it created a moment of panic for me. I'd like a CGMS, but I can't even get my stupid insurance company to cover strips, let alone a continuous monitor. TGIF is right!!

Renata said...

I had egg on my face a few weeks ago when I gave Kelsey heck about forgetting her kit. "It's been 12 years and honestly, how in the heck can you forget it still ALL THE TIME?" She swore she had it we were searching an searching and I was naggin and nagging..We found it. It was in MY purse. Just one of those know.

sara My said...

Yep, and everyday I wonder WHY it takes me so long to leave the house, even after I think I'm completely ready to go - testing supplies, insulin and syringe, extra pump supplies just in case.... and I wear a CGM (which I really appreciate most of the time, except for when I was taking pain pills with acetominaphen and the CGM said my BS was rising into the 300's, but in actuality I was dropping to dangerous lows - hence the other testing equipment.)

But I do generally like the CGM - and aren't insurance companies being more accepting these days of this equipment?

Forgive yourself and then forgive yourself again. This T1 is such a little bitch. I'm just trying not to blame myself for EVERYTHING that goes wrong.

Scott K. Johnson said...


You know what would have happened if you had a CGM? It would have been yelling at you for a calibration reading (which you couldn't do without your stuff) and not given any readings anyway! LOL!

Anonymous said...

I know exactly the feeling! I feel like I'm walking through a church naked on eggshells if I don't have my supplies with me. It just feels panic inducing wrong. I forgot my tester once, and practically had a panic attack for that 2 hours! What if I couldn't get home in time? What if I dropped really low or my site stopped delivering? What if I got hit by a bus and had to stay in the hospital with clueless staff who would kill me by not testing me, if I didn't come in dead already? What if, what if. It was sheer horror.

Type 1 is hard to control for everyone. but I'm in the "extremely brittle" group. As in if I don't test, the chance of a sudden seizure or rapid DKA is very real. That said, I have a CGMS.The verdict? Disappointing. Maybe it's because I'm so labile, but the device is so inaccurate that it's not worth the pain or tissue damage of insertion or cost (if you have to pay for it yourself).

You have to callibrate it when your BG is normal and stable for best results (which is practically impossible for me). Even then, I'd say it was accurate maybe 40% of the time. It's definitely not accurate enough to dose with, it will suddenly stop being accurate without warning (I thought I was "normal" when I was sky high), and once you are above a certain range, it is not accurate at all. I have the MM CGMS, and I was lucky enough to get it covered. Unfortunately, it does nothing for me except leave more scars.

IMHO, with this generation of sensors, you're not missing much!