Thursday, September 16, 2010

My Diabetes Is Invisible....For The Most Part

Todays post is inspired by my (our) invisible illness, diabetes. This week is National Invisible Chronic Illness Week, something all of us deal with on a 24X7 basis. Bottom line, we never get a diabetes break or vacation - It's a part of us, like it or not.

Every single day, diabetes is our constant companion.~

To look at me, you’d never realize that I’m doing all sorts of carb calculations & diabetes math, as we sit discussing menu options and life at the restaurant we're dining at.

But if you took a good look at my hands, you'd see my finger tips are freckled and calloused from testing my blood sugars 10 to 15 times a day.

And at first glance, my insulin pump might be mistaken as a pedometer or newfangled cell phone.

FYI, if you think it's a beeper, you need to wake up dude - it's not 1991.

To see me walk down the street you’d never know that I haven’t had a day off from type1 diabetes in 12,410 days.

12,418 if you count the leap years.

To hear me laugh you’d never know that I spend a lot of time worrying about EVERYTHING. Including but not limited to; diabetes, blood sugars, carb calculations, family history repeating itself, complications, career, money, life and being alone.

When we first meet, it’s probably not obvious that the night before I woke myself out of a sound sleep at 4 a.m.

Why? Because my heart was pounding, my lips were numb, and my sheets were soaking wet with sweat, thanks to a blood sugar of 45.

Instead you see a woman with hazel green eyes that are indeed “1 in a million,” a winning smile, and a gregarious personality that some call feisty; many call funny, and more than a few call smart.

And if you happen to see me on my ever so rare, mid morning coffee runs, You might just think I need a cup of coffee, which is true.

But that need for a mid morning coffee was most likely caused by a nasty (and thankfully, not normal) 6:30 am blood sugar of 330.

An occurrence that leaves me feeling like I’m walking through J-E-L-L-O, making my mid morning coffee jolt a real need, not a want.

To look at me you’d never know that my pancreas is not only faulty; it’s down right broken.

When you pass me on the street I bet you don’t realize I’m an insulin whore.

My diabetes is invisible… for the most part.

But it’s always with me; in me, and by my side.

It’s the longest relationship I’ve ever had.

My diabetes might be invisible too others, but it’s my reality.

AND I OWN IT.

11 comments:

Andrea Wrape said...

As always, you craft your art with a razor sharp wit. Love it. How did I miss the "Insulin Whore" post. Oh goodness....will be using that terminology to rattle a few cages. Thanks!

Rachel said...

The way you own it, you'd never know if you didn't know.

Which is both good...and bad... with the invisibility of it all until it becomes all too apparent with a low.

Leah said...

Hey,

My name is Leah Newmark and I am a RD, LD in Columbia, MO. I have been following your blog for a little bit and I wanted to know what you thought of mine. I just got started at my job and I counsel clients one-on-one. In between sessions I try to get them to visit my blog. A lot of them have said things to me but I dont know how to get more "followers". www.MyCynergyNutrition.BlogSpot.Com
Lets keep in touch, I am looking for topic ideas and such.

Rocking Doll Museum / Diabetic Lolita said...

Sometimes I wish I just had a broken arm or something, that people could see and don't be so stupid about it!

George said...

This a great post. Diabetes is not so invisible after all. In so many ways you cannot see it, but if you look hard enough, there is no missing it.

You rock my D world!!!

#LYLB!!!!

Meri said...

Hear come the tears!! Your post was spot on Dear Diazon! So true with my boys...they are sweet, sparkly and full of life...invisible indeed. ((HUGS)) to your wonderfulness!!

Hallie said...

I LOVE this! Why is it that every PWD I know is also one of the strongest people I know? Maybe it's fighting all that invisibility. I understand- the best I can - not being a PWD myself - just my child's pancreas - and I see you. Strength is not invisible!

Cherise said...

Twin-

I read your post at work and you had me almost in tears. I love it!

Daniel said...

yeah Kelly, I love this post, as usual, you make me laugh and cry at the same time, Thanks!

Wendy said...

Beautiful post. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!!!!!!

I hope and pray I can raise my daughter to follow your example in D.

Thanks for leading the way.

diabetic neuropathy symptoms said...

I just love your last line:

"My diabetes might be invisible to others, but it’s my reality. AND I OWN IT." Really sums up everything.