Ebb & Flow

Ashley Rose over at http://talesofswaging.blogspot.com wrote a fabulous guest post about the diabetes Ebb & Flow of it all, while I'm attending JDRF's Government Day - And I really appreciate it!

Ashley Rose describes herself as: "1 part loving daughter/granddaughter, 1 part stressed out student and 100% Bawdy Diazon (est: 05/09/2008). Lover of cupcakes and high heels (and cupcakes with high heels on them). Hater of that scratchy noise cardboard boxes make when you’re folding in the flaps."

Check out her Blog at: http://talesofswaging.blogspot.com

and look for her on twitter: http://www.twitter.com/dream4muse

As PWDs, it's really easy to feel bogged down by all of our routine maintenance. It seems as though every time we turn around we have an appointment of some kind. PCP, Endo, CDE, Ophthalmologist, blood work, etc., etc. Just like a car, we need routine checkups and every so often, we have to go in for a full inspection.

With all these appointments things usually seem as though we're always "go go go" when it comes to diabetes. But between the “go go go” is the “wait wait wait.”

When we're low, we wait to come back up while dizzy, headachey, shaking, sweating, and sometimes even crying. When we're high, we wait to come back down while dealing with fuzzy sweater teeth and the feeling like our heads are caught in their own special vice grips.

At the blood lab, we wait to be seen and after, we wait some more. We wait for test results that serve as a sort of Diabetes Report Card no matter how much we try NOT to look at them that way. We anticipate what our numbers might be and stress and obsess over what the response will be from our doctor(s).

At the doctor's office, we wait for what’s usually a 15 minute guest appearance focusing on areas of our d-management that can be improved. If there’s a change in our treatment regimen, we then wait some more to see if there’s a positive impact on our bgs and a1c.

And while research is going on around us with the ever present "Mouse Cure du Jour,” we patiently wait for our cure. While we wait, we hear our insurance companies repeatedly say no to us which makes us have to determine what sacrifices need to be made in order to afford our life saving medications and diabetes paraphernalia.

This ebb and flow of a d-life can take a toll on the way PWDs look at it. It can seem as though diabetes is all there is and all that we are. But we – and our d-lives – are so much more than that; our diabetes has just added another dimension to all of us. Sure, it’s added this hurry up and wait pattern that would drive anyone up a wall, but it’s also added compassion. It’s added strength, determination, patience, perseverance, and an overall badassness that only comes with being a PWD. With the discovery of the D-OC, it’s also added the best group of friends I’ve ever had and I’m proud to be amongst all of you.

It’s when we’re caught up in the ebb and flow of diabetes that we need to be reminded of this the most. Perhaps A.A. Milne said it best, “promise me you'll always remember: you're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”