Just had a family meeting with all her Doctors and found out that her kidney blockage is most likely congenital. Ironically, her kidney numbers are great and the kidney tube placed in her back is draining her blocked kidney quite nicely. Her heart is working at the same as before she was admitted and we are grateful for that.
It's the sepsis fire in her blood that is the culprit and causing all the turmoil.
Each little victory is extremely important & celebrated like a ticker tape parade, and counter acts the dips into despair and the fear of the "what ifs," that seem to follow the good news we receive.
The Doctors say that each day she stays stable is a major step towards recovery, which will be at a snails pace. Unlike a tragedy, which could happen incredibly fast and with almost no warning at all.
So we wait in this limbo of sorts, holding our breathes and grateful for each hour that passes by.
Every time my cell phone rings my heart skips at least 10 beats, yet I carry it where ever I am, because I am the contact person regarding my mom's care - and those times when I am away from the ICU are torture because I hate leaving her.
So we wait and we pray, and we continue to stay positive.
My mom taught us that the glass is half full - and that is what keeps me going.
I honor her wishes and focus on the positive - Except for the times in the ICU waiting room when I cry about all she's going through.
My mother taught us to fight. And my mother is a fighting very hard, so please continue to cheer and pray, and send her positive thoughts and vibes.
She has more rounds to fight.... and to win - And sepsis is a tough opponent - But one she can beat.
And we take each round and check off each passing hour with a star.
And I continue to wait and pray and think - And I find myself bargaining with a higher power.
And I ask for strength for my mom... and for me.
And I stand over her in the ICU and hold her hand, brush the hair off her face, kiss her arm and tell her how much I love her. And I tell her how great she's doing and how proud I am of her.
And then I come back to the ICU waiting room and I cry.... and I think.... and I pray.
And I talk out loud and in my head to her..... And tell her I love her and how proud I am of her..... And I tell her to please keep fighting.