I received an email from a very good friend last week that was one sentence in length and fully loaded at the same time.
Her question: Kel - What's it really like to have diabetes?
And when I clicked "Reply,"my stream of consciousness responded before I did.
Good question, here's your answer.
Living with diabetes is never ending, because diabetes is always there - even when I'm not thinking about it.
Diabetes is with me at work; at home, when I'm with my family and friends,traveling on a plane, on the beach, during a spa day or when I'm out on a date.
Diabetes is my shadow even on the most cloudy of days: My sister, my father and my mother's funeral - And stood with me as I gave their eulogies.
Diabetes is my constant companion and diabetes is never the same disease 2 days in a row.
Diabetes is my conscience and tempter all rolled into one.
Diabetes makes me do things that I don't want to do, or feel like doing.
Annoying things like test my blood sugars, count my carbs and go to doctors appointments. But in order to get the upper hand on diabetes - or at least stay on a level playing field, I DO THEM.
Diabetes makes me think about my mortality; my future, my genetics, my present and my past - A LOT.
There have been moments when diabetes has made me laugh out loud and there have been plenty of times when diabetes has made me cry.
Diabetes has made me both diligent and go-with-the-flow all rolled into one - and that is a good thing.
How? Diabetes has taught me time and again that my reaction to diabetes shenanigans (code word for shit) plays a role in who gets the last laugh with said diabetes shenanigans.
Diabetes has made me braver than I ever realized I was... or could ever be.
Ironically, diabetes requires me to be both a fighter and a peacemaker - at least when it comes to me, my body and my pancreas.
Diabetes has taught me never to quit and to keep going even when I think I can't.
Diabetes has made me use my voice and speak up - Even if I was afraid.
And diabetes has given me a community, a passion and a mission in life, and has proven time and again that even with the bad, there is an amazing amount of good to be found in this life and in myself.
P.S. Ask me the same question tomorrow and there's a 50% chance I might have a different answer!