"5 to 10 Years" Can Be A Lifetime

The doc is a family, all families have issues and many of us are jaded optimists because living with diabetes for decades does that to a person.
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Numbers are part of my (our) life with diabetes.

I’ve had diabetes for 35 years, and for 35 years  I’ve associated certain numbers with diabetes.

After 12,775 days (and then some) of living with a busted pancreas, how could I not.

Diabetes math is my constant companion. 

When I look my plate and I see carb numbers instead of food - And have damn near mastered the art of being a Diabetes Savant~ 

123 on my meter makes me smile. 

I am daughter number 4, diabetic daughter number 3 and child number 6 to the late John & Marjory Kunik.

15 minutes is the amount of time I’m supposed to wait after I treat a low with 15 grams of carbohydrates - And I test my blood sugars between 7 and 12 times a day. 

Live saving insulin is doled out of my insulin pump in varying degrees of both basal and bolus rates -

My self worth is measured by a test called an A1C - If it is above 7.1 I am crestfallen. 

The terms “high’ and “low” represent numerical phrases that a person with diabetes live with on a daily basis.

“5 to 10 years” is a term I associate with a prison sentence in all dimensions, both legally and theoretically speaking.  

“5 to 10 years” is the longest of life sentences  when you’re waiting for a diabetes cure.

Because the term "5 to 10 years" was how long I was told there’d be a cure when I was first diagnosed....35 years ago. 
"5 to 10 years" is what so many of us were told when we were first diagnosed..... And "5 to 10 years" have come and gone for us all.

The words "5 to 10 years til a cure," have broken more hearts than any hopeful phrase has a right to.

“5 to 10 years” is a phrase I wish scientists and the likes there of would stop using, period. 
It's an emotional phrase that brings back bad memories for so many of us who have been in the diabetes trenches.

As an 8 year who was diagnosed with type one - the cure was OZ and the Holy Grail all rolled into one - And when I turned 18, I remember what I was thinking as I blew out the candles on my birthday cake.

1. I’m legal - so don’t do anything to get arrested
2. I still have diabetes - And 10 years have come and gone.

And my heart broke that day. But a lot of good came out of that heartbreak, because my heart healed and become stronger and tougher and more sensitive to promises and phrasing when it came to all matters of the heart - diabetes and otherwise. 

It made me jaded.... But I still had hope.

Yes, of course I still have hope, about so many things - to many things to mention in one blog post. 

I hope that the Phillies will win the 2013 world series and I hope that people will grow out of this Kardashian phase.

I hope that the people of New Jersey & the Tristate area will continue to be JerseyStrong post Sandy.  

I hope that Congress will get their shit together so we citizens of the US won’t suffer for their faux bipartisanship bullshit anymore. 

I hope to God that I will age like my mother. 

And I hope for a diabetes cure and I welcome any and all shots in the form of research with every fiber of my being. 

And I will help any and all organizations when it comes to a diabetes cure - And I will continue to try and help people (including myself) living with diabetes strive for their best lives, cure or not. 

Living with diabetes has made us dreamers/realists who have learned to live in the moment while preparing for futures that aren't set in stone.

We are jaded optimists because living with diabetes has made us so.
Jaded optimism is both our shield and our armor. 

Which is why when it comes to a diabetes cure, or the potential for a cure - I prefer less anticipation/hype and more quiet facts. 

For me at least, anticipation can make emotions run up and down so much they resemble a Dexcom that’s gone crazy off the charts. 

Quiet facts keep hope’s flame lit around the clock while keeping all of our collective emotions in check.