Monday, March 31, 2014

Kids: Did I Ever Tell You The One About My Insulin Pump Reminding Some Guy @ A Party Of His Brother's Kidney Stones/Catheterization?

Kids: Sometimes people tell me stuff that I don't always want to know. #fact
But 9 times out of 10 I listen because the sharing comes from a good place, regardless of the TMI details. Also: It makes for a hell of a story.
And I FTR, I really do hope his Filterfree's brother is OK~
Recently, my friend asked me to attend a work party and I was more than happy to oblige - I like meeting new people!
I brought a bottle of Spanish Red and went to the get together and was having a really good time. The people were nice, the food was great and the wine was flowing.
In the middle of the evening I ended up speaking with a quirky older couple and about 10 minutes into the conversation, the husband pointed to my insulin pump  and asked all inquisitive like: What's that? 
So I explained what my insulin pump was and what it did and why I wore it. Which meant I brought up my type 1 diabetes, which of course led me to mentioning the Diabetes Online Community and my blog.
Sidebar: I get super enthusiastic when it comes to the DOC. 
And then the husband - Who I shall refer to as "FilterFree" for the rest of this post, said to me: Subcutaneously, that's interesting. Not to bring up my brother's penis into the conversation because you barely know me, and you've never met him. 
But I'm going to bring it up anyway - And him, strictly for medical purposes. 
My brother is prone to kidney stones - we all are my family- which is why I'm drinking water - not alcohol or caffeine. 
But my brother doesn't drink water, not at all. And he's probably going to have to go on dialysis one day because of all the stones he's had - And the last time he had kidney stones, the doctors had to stick a catheter right up the shaft of his penis - And I don't if you you know this or not …. that hurts like hell!
Me: Indeed it does - I said and looked him straight in the eye.
Filterfree: Yeah, so you having diabetes and wearing an insulin pump reminded me of my brother having to have a catheter in his penis because of his kidney stones. 
Seriously, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.
Me: We'll, I hope your brother's feeling better.
Filterfree: Thanks, but he needs to drink more water.
Me: YES….That would help. Tell him to hang in there (DAMN IT, why did I say that?!) 
Ya.., you both need to keep hydrated. Speaking of hydrating, I need to grab a refill. 
Then, as if to bring home that ever so important point, I shook my empty glass, smiled and said my goodbyes. 

And that kids, would be the true story of how wearing an electronic pancreas clipped to my hip became the catalyst for a quirky, albeit perfectly sober and #filterfree stranger bringing up his brother's kidney stones and detailed penis catheterization - thanks to said kidney stones & lack of proper water consumption, to yours truly - All because my insulin pump reminded him of all of the above - And within the first 10 minutes of our conversation.

Like I said, I couldn't make this up if I tried - But it makes for a hell of a story/blog post~


Unknown said...

OH DEAR LORD I AM DYYYYYYING over here!!!! LMBO!!!!! I think this one tops the cake of most any impromptu meeting story I've ever heard.

Alanna said...

I....Can't even

Sara said...

Soooo much information. Just sooo... much ... information... to give a stranger.

Just wow.

Anonymous said...

TMI sir!!!

BBird said...

I am always so delighted at what weird connections people make. I'm happy to admit I've made them in my own time, I just rather boringly keep them to myself.

On another note, why is a glass of water is so hard? I have a friend with the same propensity towards kidney stones and the same reluctance to drink water. I can't understand it. Can someone please explain it to me?

Alecia said...

I can't recall what my previous comment was but I believe it was along the lines of....AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA. xo

Scott E said...

That story is legend...wait for it....