It's My Diaversary: Today Marks 39 Years of Living With T1 Diabetes

39 years 

39 years with t1 diabetes - I can’t believe it because it doesn’t seem real - or that long ago - but it was a life time ago. 

39 years  - I was so little - diabetes was so big, we became partners not by choice, but by pancreatic and autoimmune circumstances, and together we forged ahead and continue to tackle the world the best we can.

Growing up with diabetes DID NOT ruin my childhood. 

There were challenging and tough times - but diabetes didn’t ruin my childhood - so don't you dare for a second think it did. 

Growing up with diabetes was.... different. 

There were good times and hard times. There were times I struggled with diabetes and times I thrived.

I grew up (at least in some ways,) and isn’t that the goal of parents - to see their children grow up? 

Speaking of growing up, I wish my mom was here today - because this day is about her too - and my dad, but I know exactly what she’d say. 

I would remind her that today was my Diaversary and she’d say something like: I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it’s been 39 years. 

And then my mom would tell me I was handling it well and that she was proud of me.  

And she’d get this look in her eye that always made me sad - and she’d say that my sister Debbie had such a rough time handling her diabetes - and that’s what did her in.

And how she was so glad that I learned to "handle things." 

And I would say “thanks ma,” and hug her tight. 

And I’d silently think to myself all the times I didn’t/don’t handle my diabetes well - I would think back to the times when my sister was so sick and I was so angry at the world ... and diabetes... and Debbie. 

But I would remind myself that like the lotus, I made it through the diabetes mud and muck, to grow and into someone who is still becoming. 

And then I’d think of my Diabetes Online Community family and all that we’ve been through together. 

And today - even though I’m feeling a bit melancholy, which is really effing weird for me, because usually I’m all about the diaversary celebration, I will find the joy in everything that life brings me - because I am indeed the girl who lived. 

***Speaking of the girl who lived and the woman who continues to become, next year I will celebrate 40 YEARS of living with diabetes - and I want to CELEBRATE  like a rockstar.

I want to do something BIG. 

Like really BIG. Like BIG TOP, BIG - and any and all suggestions from my tribe would be greatly appreciated. 

Lastly, every year I make a list of positives to mark this day and this year is no different. So here it is - 39 positives for 39 years of living with diabetes and in no particular order.

1. Indian Summer Days
2. Jeans that make my ass look magnificent
3. DOC Meet-ups in real life
4. A glass of red wine with pretty much any food group
5. pickles as free food
6. Warm ocean temps and awesome waves
7. the smell of garlic sautéing in olive oil
8. Good friends 
9. reading a great book
10. Concerts 
11. Funny Farm Animal Rescue 
12. The word “coconut,” because I love how the word rolls of my tongue. It's a happy sounding word and also, I love how coconuts taste. YAY COCONUTS 
13. Warm sheets in the winter
14. Cool sheets in the summer 
15. Nailing carb counts
16. Black leather boots, preferably italian black leather boots
17. Watching/listening to my nieces and nephews perform - Also, hanging with my niece and nephews - I LOVE THEM ALL
18. Running into your very first friend with with diabetes 30 some years after the fact and picking up right where you left off - all because of the Children With Diabetes, Friends For Life
19. CWD, aka - Children With Diabetes, Friends For Life
20. Friends children who ask you if you’re “little” or “big,” because they can't tell - and my friends children who have become my friends
21. DOGS - because dogs are AWESOME
22. The feeling of accomplishment when the DOC makes changes in the way others view people with diabetes 
23. City lights
24. Salt air
25. The color Green
26. The color blue
27. The color Red
28. The colors purple, yellow, orange and black
29. Vanilla baked goods
30.  All baked goods
31. Ice cream
32. Music - across the board and in all genres 
33. That feeling after you get from reading someones blog post that makes you feel better and like you're not the only one
34. belly laughs
35. Great sex
36. Traveling 
37. Hanging with my big sister Cathy
38. Martinis with girlfriends
39. My friends and family.