One of my closest friends in the world and I had dinner the other night.
We talked about all sorts of things - Our lives; the shit show that is American politics, stupid people, and the complexities of the the endocrine system — including my diabetes.
My Friend: So hypothetically speaking and in an alternative universe/perfect world, if you were to eat the exact same food, the exact same amount of food, at the same time each day and do the same activity two days in a row, and not factoring in hormones, stress, etc., because alternative/perfect universe, your blood sugars should be the same two days in a row… right?
Me: Hypothetically speaking, if the queen had balls she’d be king.
And yes, “hypotherically speaking and in an alternative universe/perfect world," if I were to eat the same food, and the exact amount of said food, at the same time of day, and did the same amount of activity two day in a row. And not factoring in hormones; stress, hydration, heat, cold, the common cold, the alignment of the planets, which way the wind is blowing, tide charts and a boatload of other variables, because alternative universe/perfect world - my blood sugars should be the same - or at least in the same ballpark as they were the day before.
But that’s not how it works. That’s not how any of this (and by THIS, of course I mean diabetes), works. Because diabetes is never the same disease two days in a row and as we know, diabetes is a fickle bitch.
My Friend: And because that would be too fucking easy.
Me: EXACTLY. Also, in an alternative universe/perfect world - I would have a perfectly functioning pancreas and we wouldn't be having this conversation.
My Friend: True. But we'd still be drinking Prosecco.
Me: YOU KNOW IT.
ALSO: Is it any wonder that we’re friends?