Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Embracing My Inner Diabetes BIOTCHES!!!!!!!!

Kelly (or Cybil or Eve - depends on who you ask) and her Diabetes Biotches A 'La Worhol

I’m a pretty nice person for the most part.
My friends say I'm funny and loyal - and I can live with that.
I always say please and thank-you.
I always try to see the glass half full.
I don’t litter and I recycle daily.
Kids, old people, and dogs dig me.

And I’m learning the fine art of forgiveness and trying to practice it daily.

Still, I have a temper and on occasion I use it. Usually when pushed to the extreme.

I know how words hurt. I’ve suffered from their blows. And I know the full power of my own words, and try to use them for the good. And only rarely (and in the most extreme of circumstances) do I call upon their powers and take full advantage of my verbal annihilation skills which are not only genetic, but come from years of fine tuning based on my sardonic humor, quick wit, and the ignorance of others.
During those times, I become and embrace fully, my inner Diabetic Bitch.

But when my blood sugar is high – as in off the charts high, like the mid 300 hundreds, my nerves become short, and my proverbial fuse, non-existent.
I’ve been told I get testy – and not the godoatest, testy type of way. But in the Diabetes High Blood Sugar Bitch type of way. I believe it’s is my body’s way of telling me (along with the feeling of walking through Jell-O) that my body is in dire need of insulin and if I don’t get it soon, I won’t be able to tell you what I need. I’m not loud, violent, or incoherent, I’m just plain old BITCHY. Now when I'm low, I'm quiet and bit spacey, but that's another post.

My mother would always say that “the diabetics in the house tempers would soar when their blood sugars did.’ It used to get me angry when she said that. I guess deep down inside I knew she was right. Plus, my temper was nowhere near the explosiveness of my father or sister.

My fuse, diabetic or not, has always been on the long side. But when it’s finally fully ignited, look out!

Now, whenever my mom and I disagree and the discussion gets heated, she blames my blood sugar. “Is your blood sugar high? Your crabby!”

9 times out of 10, it’s not my blood sugar. It’s something that George W did, or the fact that my mother still treats me like a child - I'm the youngest of six and will always be her baby, or the fact that 9/10Th's of the world still have absolutely no clue about the Big D.

Still I embrace both my Diabetes Bitches - OK, I sound like a Pimp - Sorry.

Both have made strong, vocal, and aware.

Rarely does the true Diabetes High Blood Sugar Bitch surface - thank God, but when she does, it’s to let me know I need checkout my blood sugar and bolus. She protects me from myself.

But when my Diabetic Bitch surfaces, she’s there to protect others and me from injustices, wrong doing, and ignorance of others.

And you know what? I’m fine with that.


George said...

I totally understand the D-biotch thing. I get it but would it be called a Dasshole? or a Drick? I dunno, Maybe a Dastard.

Either way, I get that way too.

CALpumper said...

First, you go girl! Woman! Queen! Bitch! ;-)

Second, I personally like Dastard george. ha ha.

Back to the Queen. I TOtally understand. Yet so few understand this. They just have NO idea what it is like. And really, we don't ask much do we. I don't ask you to "understand" what I go through. Or even try to. I just ask that you be open-minded enough to NOT question me or tell me "how it is" or what I "should do." Because it is simple really....

I HAVE T1 and you do not. Ya know. Big duh and slap to the forehead on that one. A bit of common sense (and honesty) goes a LONG way people.

To those out there that "think" they get it. Right. I don't pretend to "get you" or understand you or even Judge you, so why the hell you doing it to me?!

Whoa I have been on a Dbitch coaster the past couple days and I thankfully am not around the human race much for them to endure the 'tude I got these days. Although, it would be nice to just simply bitch and vent about it. Just to have someone listen to my woes, about how I am frustrated and pissed off and hate having a disease. Oh and if they dare say "it could be worse" I will bitch slap them like they have never been slapped before. And I Will like it.

On the mother front, I am the baby too and lately when I hear my mom tell me that she has discussed my "situation" with others, I cringe. I feel her pain. I hate that she worries about me. And looks to others for advice, help, comfort. It just should not be this way.

it is what it is
take me as i am
i am me
Dbitch at times
Dqueen at times
Dwoman at times

But never forget, I am all woman so look out.

Holy crap long comment! Sorry k2!

What a Kick Ass post though. You got me all fired up, lol! Or more fired up? I need sleep....ok I am done now.

Jeff said...

It was a long time ago, but I used to take out my frustrations (both D and non-D) by smashing a tennis ball against a wall at the park in my little town. After an hour or two of that, the tension was gone, I'd gotten a good workout, and my groundstrokes were a little better than before.

How's your foot doing, Kelly?

Oh, and thanks! YRS!!

k2 said...

G- Ninja -
I love the terms Dasshole and Dastard!I'm using them!
The d Grumpies are a gift. they lets\ us know that we need to "shoot up!" I know, bolus in the correct term, but I love the shock value that "shoot up" has!
I know, I know, totally d- bitchy!

Crystal -
Glad you like the post. I hope everyone doesn't think that I'm a D-bitch more often than not, I just wanted to explain the difference between the two. One is caused is caused by high blood sugars and the big D, and one is just caused by people idiocy and my lack of patience for them.

My mom rocks! She is the strongest woman I know and she is the one who is responsible for the whole "glass half full" attitude of mine.
I love that I'm her baby, but at the same time I don't want her to worry. Plus, I can tell her something based on fact, be it the name of a good plumber or what her accountant said in the meeting we both had attended the week b4. But because I'm "her baby," she has to confer w/ my sister b4 she actually listens. Normally, my sister and I are on the same page and it THAT drives me nuts! But I wouldn't the fact that she's my mom, or that I'm her baby for the world.

Jeff - Though it seems like a long time ago (it's really only 9 months,) walking did the same thing for me that smashing tennis balls did for u. Right now, I'm on the side lines, thanks to my foot.
Which, btw is getting better! Thanks for asking.

And no problem for mentioning GODOATEST - I love GODOATEST!

Hey - do u think that everyone thinks I'm a total bitch now?
I was just trying to differentiate between my two inner BIOTCHES
Maybe something got lost in translation?

CALpumper said...

Oh darlin'!!! NO lost in translation what so ever. None. I So get the difference. I am sure many other PWDs get it too hon.

Sorry for my long crazy comment. I hope it did not make you feel the need to defend your post. Your post was SO great! You are NOT a bitch, not at all.

You explained the difference so well. People just don't always understand what the idiots call "mood swings" or "bitchyness" (I so spelled that wrong, ha ha).

Oh and btw, I used to Love calling it "shoot up" when I was in high school and college with a slap to the arm with two fingers. hee hee.

Again, k2 is NOT a bitch! She is the Queen of the BigD and humor! The Queen! ;-) ;-)

Oh and my constant attempt to stay positive everyday is due to my mom. I adore that women, heart and soul. She is everything to me which is why it pains me that she worries.

Here's to embracing our "inner" D! ;-)

Hannah said...

If diabetes is the bitch, does that make insulin the pimp? Like, when your blood sugar is up, it totally comes in and slaps it around. Haha! :)

k2 said...

Hannah -
Interesting theory....I like it!
Not that I'm promoting "hooking" and or pimping, because I'm not in any shape,way, or form.

BUT insulin bitch slapping the Diabetes High Blood Sugar Bitch is actually a good thing!