Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Dear Blood Sugar- I'm Not Impressed with Your Behavior as of Late...

Dear Blood Sugar:

I’m not impressed with your behavior or your attitude as of late; these highs that finally go down to a crashing low have got to stop.

I thought we settled this thing peaceably yesterday afternoon. Your numbers were fantastic from lunchtime until bed. But this morning’s numbers showed that your back to throwing bitch fits again just because you can.

Look, I’m not afraid of you, and I won’t give up the fight to make you behave.

Simply put, your unruly behavior has GOT TO STOP.

I’m not afraid to test and test again, and if I have to increase my basal rate a 4th time, then so be it, I will. I may not like it, but I’ll do it.

And If I must, I will go all CGM on you! I’m not afraid to do so.

Listen, I have indeed danced with the devil in the pale moon light." But even better than that, “I know a guy” who will get me the goods in no time flat- I am from Jersey you know.

So before it comes to that, you’re going to settle down, make nice and calm the eff down!

Whatever unknown infection I’m fighting will run its course, as will your bad behavior.

I’m a nice person, I love kids and puppies and old people dig me.

I laugh out loud and from my belly, cry every time I watch The Sound of Music, and always say please and thank-you. So why the hell pick on me?

Thanksgiving is two days away, and I want PIE DAMN IT!

But more than the pie lust, I want my numbers to go back to normal, I don’t like this walking through Jell-O feeling that the highs bring. Nor do I like the shaking numbness of your crashing lows.

And if you screw with my a1c, I will shake you to your very foundation!

Do you think I enjoy having to reprimand you in public, or having to write these less then flattering letters regarding your behavior ?

NEWS FLASH: I don't, not one bit.

Seriously, step up and fly right. I’m tired of this. 5 days of bad behavior is enough.

GET OVER YOURSELF ALREADY!

Kelly Kunik

Your annoyed Hostess

4 comments:

Scott said...

Tell your blood sugar to "sit on a tack" ... you don't have to be polite to uninvited guests!!!

phonelady said...

yeah me either really not impressed at all with the big d right now and I dont mean Dallas !!!

Sandra Miller said...

Kelly, thank you.

Those high bgs are not funny, but dang, woman-- you sure are. :-)

Scott K. Johnson said...

Way to open a can!