Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Tough Love, Diabetes Style. The Facebook Edition

The following has been on my mind for the past 24 hours, so much so that I couldn't even blog about today's intended subject. So, I decided to share what was preoccupying my mind with you instead.

So I kind of lost it yesterday- all in the name of having a positive attitude when it come to diabetes. And yes, I’m aware of the irony of that first sentence.

Sometimes with old friends, diabetes, and facebook, you need to get tough.

Here’s the thing. I bitch and complain about diabetes along with everyone else, but I try my best to see the glass ½ full most of the time. WHY? Because seeing the diabetes glass ½ full most of the time makes living a life with diabetes easier all of the time.

I can flip my "bitch-switch" with the best of them~

FaceBook can be a wonderful thing. It connects us with friends and family, and introduces us to new people and folks with similar likes and interests.

Many of you are my Facebook friends, and I'm glad that we have yet another place to connect and share our worlds. Recently,after I posted a link to an article on diabetes over at BusyMommyMedia.com that I wrote about raising a child with diabetes (click HERE if you feel like reading it) a friend from childhood's mother started leaving some incredibly negative statements regarding living with diabetes. So negative and vile that I felt leaving them up would do more harm than good, so I deleted them.

I don't care if you don't like me or what I write, but when you start to offend "my people" and their lifestyle- I take issue.

Now to be fair, this woman has type 2, and from what she shared with me, her numbers are down right good - and might I add, much better than her attitude.

I really questioned deleting what she said, but I was so disgusted by her words and the harm that they might do to others, that old acquaintance/friend or not, I deleted. And after deleting, I broke my own never send an 'email/letter/direct message in anger" rule got all "diabetes on her ass".

Dear XXXX:

I deleted your comments from my wall. I cannot have you writing such horrible comments regarding life with diabetes. To many of my friends have (or have children with) type 1 diabetes and they don't need to hear about "checking out if you ever lose body parts to the disease."

Many of my friends are also Type 2, and they are doing their best to manage their diabetes.

And all of my diabetes friends deal with it 24 X 7, just like you,

and If these wonderful folks can be positive about life, so can you.

You've known me since I was a child, so you know I've been a type 1 diabetic since the age of 8 and my sister Debbie died from type 1 diabetes in her early 30’s. Trust me, when the worst case starts happens to you, you'll fight with everything you have to live, just like she did.

I wrote a positive article regarding raising a child with type 1 diabetes-did you even read it? but more importantly (because honestly,it's not ALL about me) did you read the positive examples about living life with diabetes that others posted in response to the link?

If you want to set a good example for your grand children who I know that you love and cherish, then stop complaining and stop seeing the glass half empty.

I know how hard it is, but if you have a problem with your diabetes diagnoses, than do what is required so you can be healthy and enjoy your life. Find the positive instead of always spouting the negative.

Kelly K

She responded. And she apologized. And yes, we are still facebook friends.

I really hope that she can start to focus on the positives that she has in her life, instead of only seeing life's glass as ½ empty.

And if she reads this post - then I know she'll learn something. Not just from my words, but hopefully from yours~


SarahK said...

You go girl! I agree. Diabetes is bad, but why exaggerate it? Being depressed and making it into the "ugly monster under the bed" only makes me want to avoid it, which leads to not taking care of myself, which leads to the horror stories. If we see the glass half full and try to take a positive attitude about it, we take better care of ourselves in the long run.

Thanks for being the D-Superwoman of FB for the DOC! Afer all, you are THE Diazon!!! :-)

FatCatAnna said...

You did the right thing!

Yvette said...

Well said - and by saying that you helped to protect my little girl from negative, ignorant comments, so thank you.

Penny said...

Thank you Kelly, on behalf of one mom with a Type 1 gal, 7 years old, who does not need to hear about the complications that the D will or might bring. She needs to hear from and about people like Kelly, who bring light to the D, compassion, awareness, education, enlightenment and frankly, an attitude that my gal will grow up just fine and dandy.

I believe that positive thinking creates wellness - I really do believe it. You can succumb to this D or you can rise, rise, rise above it, to acceptance, to faith and to a state of grace. It can be life-affirming and life-altering. Thank you Kel for always bringing your 'A' game and for standing up for those of us who are caring for a child with D.

Meri said...

Rules are meant to be broken. You have the amazing gift of educating and loving, and even laughing all at the same time. Sometimes there are those who need a little tough love...or maybe a gentle nudge to see a brighter perspective.

You are real...and you are positive. That is WHY we read every dang word you have to say. So keep being you Kelly. And thank you for having our back.

Love ya sistah!

Anonymous said...

I don't think I caught all those comments. I did see one of your responses to a poster who seemed frustrated and I felt your reply was wonderful. I would equate it to a virtual slap in the face - a good slap in the face. We all need that every once in a while.
I can't help but think of one of the points that you continue to make and one you made in this very post - that diabetes is part of who you are and you had to learn to speak up at an early age. Here you are speaking up and I think it's just great. I'm glad that it all worked out and everyone has remained friends. :)

"D" as in "D" said...

While I applaud your response, I feel the need to give the offender some credit as well, for apologizing for his/her behavior. You don't see that very often and it's nice to hear of someone taking responsibility for themselves and actually feeling remorse. Kudos to all.

Bennet said...

That was a very positive butt kicking.

Cara said...

Like you said, life's too short to live "half-empty". Sure, the bad stuff is there. We know it's a possibility. We aren't naive. But why sit around and think about it all the time?? And better yet, why talk about it all the time? Life's short no matter who you are. Each and every day is a blessing, chronic illness or no chronic illness. I hope she realizes that depressing is also something connected with diabetes. And that she gets some help dealing with her "issues" with diabetes.

Unknown said...

Kelly, not only do you see the glass half full, you help others to do so too - so I raise a glass and toast to you for saying what so many of us want to say back to others. Thank you. "Lechaim" "to life".

Daniel said...

I know how hard it is to confront a family member or friend with a difficult to talk about subject, so Thank You for standing up for your peeps! Sometimes with people's words, you just can't take it anymore, and you have to tell them how you feel, in very clear terms. I think you did that, and I personally want to say Thanks, cause I want to have a child someday, and I want them to know that they can lead a long, happy, wonderful life, with Diabetes being part of it (not that I would ever with T1 on them).

Unknown said...

You are my role-model for living life with the cup half full!

When I'm in a situation that could easily go negative, I often say to myself "what would K2 do?". I'm very serious! You are an inspiring to me!