Monday, June 6, 2011

Yeah, I'm Talking To YOU!

I'm a bit odd, and I'm OK with that. My oddities (most of them) are what make me endearing, adorable, and a good friend.

One of my oddities is that I personify my diabetes - it's true! I write letters to my diabetes , and have found that writing those letters to be both amazing and cathartic when it comes to understanding myself and how diabetes has affected my life.
And sometimes I talk to my diabetes out loud - Not that diabetes answers back, or even listens to me for that matter. Still, I do it just the same.
Maybe I do it because I'm trying to figure something diabetes related out, and hearing what I say out loud helps me to navigate my next step. Or maybe I'm just one can short of a six-pack and I'm completely nuts -WHATEVER. Anyway, here are some of the things I've been known to tell and or say to or about my diabetes out loud.

Come on insulin, START WORKING ALREADY!

Blood sugar, what's your problem?

LOVELY! Almost always said when it's NOT.

Dearest Diabetes Gods, if you allow my extended duel wave bolus calculation to be correct for this small serving of lobster Mac & Cheese, I'll be your best friend!

Oh, you're quite a cheeky little pancreas, aren't you?

Doorknobs, I don't have time for your sh*t! : Said pretty much on a daily basis.

HELLO, GORGEOUS! Recently uttered after achieving a Blood Sugar Nirvana of 136 two hours after eating a small vanilla soft serve.

W.T.F!? I recently shouted this phrase in it's entirety after a blood sugar in the stratosphere that refused to budge, even after a site change and a new insulin reservoir.

Diabetes, you're such a bitch.

REALLY?!

Thanks for working with me on that!

You again?

Go ahead, make my day!

I. OWN. YOU.

So, do you ever talk to your diabetes, and if so - What do you say?

17 comments:

Michelle said...

My daughter can be quite sensitive about the word “diabetes”, so we’ve found a variety of different ways to communicate. She’s my kid, so she LOVES sarcasm. When she has a really crappy blood sugar, I’ll just say “Awesome” in my most sarcastic tone, and she thinks that’s great. Then we usually have a short discussion on how we’re going to handle it (teaching moment), and move on. She also named her pump (Seymour) and her CGM (Audrey), so instead of asking her what her blood sugar is, I just ask “so, what’s Audrey telling ya’?”, and she’ll give me the number and arrow direction. If we’re having pump issues, we’ll just say something like “come on Seymour, get it together already!”. I think by externalizing our communication about her diabetes, it helps her to not feel responsible for something that is completely out of her control.

Jess said...

um, yes. i do this all the time. most frquently uttered word: REALLY?

Fatima said...

haha! loved these! upon reading a perfect fasting sugar, i tend to scream "who's yo daddy!!!!" at my meter. but the time i'm done, the backlight usually shuts off, as if it's answering me. best feeling ever.

Michael Hoskins said...

Same here. Do that all the time. Often overhead cussing like a pirate at my meter or pump, as they flash unsatisfactory numbers and trends at me. Thanks for the list, K2!

Heidi / D-Tales said...

Oh, yeah, we do this, too. We'll often react to the glucometer with "seriously?!"

My favorite of yours? "Oh, you're quite a cheeky little pancreas, aren't you!" :)

Reyna said...

The "CHEEKY PANCREAS" got outlouds bits of laughter from me Kelly.

You know, I never have personified "D"...until my anger spell the other night with a huge 400 point nose dive in short order. It does seem therapeutic. Thanks for the tip...and for letting me know I am not crazy...that ... you are crazy too! xoxo

George said...

If I am checking my BG and it is some crazy number I don't expect I will shout...

"SUGA PLEASE!!!"

that helps.

Denise aka 'Mom of Bean' said...

Lots of 'seriously?!?!' and 'all righty then' when numbers are wonky.

Totally love the cheeky pancreas! Gonna have to use that one, for sure!

caron said...

lol. yup, i do this all the time! i say "good mornin' sunshine" to an awesome fasting bg, and "seriously?!" (or worse) when it's not so awesome.
just called my glucometer a sod cos it kept giving me an error message.

Renata said...

So funny, I recently have heard Kelsey doing that. Saying things like "TAKE THAT" and "WHO'S THE BOSS NOW!" I usually giggle and walk away, maybe I should stand behind her and yell right along with "YEAH, YOU TAKE THAT!"

You are awesome.

Penny said...

Perfect score! (that's for scoring a 100 on her BG test)
Well isn't that a surprise!
Look, it's the same upside down or right side up! (that's for a score of 96)
Craptastic!
Down damn number, down!
I'll rage bolus the hell out of you!
Pancreas, you are such a wimp.
You mean 325's not in range? (Graces favorite line to me when she sees a sky high number, then she laughs)
Diabetes, today you are a loooooooo-ser!

Lora said...

Not sure you want me to repeat some of the stuff I say :/

Alexis Nicole said...

Behind closed doors my husband refers to D as a cock blocker.


Lmao please don't ban me from leaving comments now. ;)

Amanda said...

Ah, the doorknob one. That had me laughing! I use that one frequently!

Then there's the "I like you" when I wake up with a perfect 88(or similar) after I stayed up to late snacking, blouses and didn't wake up with a low at 3a.

Or the "COME ON, I thought we were friends?" when I don't achieve BSN after a single effing cupcake.

And of course, the standard "seriously? Seriously." when some is just.not.right.

I thoroughly enjoy your blog. It makes me smile. It's always good to know someone knows exactly how you feel. Diabetes isn't always easy, but it doesn't always have to be hard either.

Amanda said...

Ah, the doorknob one. That had me laughing! I use that one frequently!

Then there's the "I like you" when I wake up with a perfect 88(or similar) after I stayed up to late snacking, blouses and didn't wake up with a low at 3a.

Or the "COME ON, I thought we were friends?" when I don't achieve BSN after a single effing cupcake.

And of course, the standard "seriously? Seriously." when some is just.not.right.

I thoroughly enjoy your blog. It makes me smile. It's always good to know someone knows exactly how you feel. Diabetes isn't always easy, but it doesn't always have to be hard either.

Valerie said...

The doorknobs one cracked me up...I saw a few of those, as well as, "I'm the shit" when I've dosed correctly and it's kind of tricky.

Hallie said...

I talk to D all the time! I write it songs. Or really I just change the lyrics of already written songs. I say hateful things to it. In private. Never in front of Sweets. I talk to it in my mind... I know it hears me. I think it's a little afraid of me. Cuz it knows I'M COMING... It should be afraid. You don't mess with my baby and get away with it. I will hunt it down until the day I die. Guaranteed. :)