|Photo I snapped while having a low in the Grand Hall~|
Photo courtesy of my ipad
And then I waited. I was by myself and even though I was at an event and sitting in the Grand Hall surrounded by diabetes clinicians, nobody around me realized I was having a low. And I found myself snapping the above picture in my low blood sugar haze with my iPad to capture the irony of being low at a Diabetes Conference.
I get a little spacey when I'm low and I found myself focusing on the shiny marble floors and the sun streaming in from the windows and how it made both the marble floors and walls glisten.
I kept thinking how shiny the marble floors and walls looked and how hard it must be to keep them that way and how I probably would be running low all the time if I was the person responsible for cleaning them - And I was glad that I wasn't that person.
No, I was the person in the Shiny Marble Grand Hall who couldn't get her blood sugar up where it needed to be!!
The tables in the Grand Hall were almost empty because every one was either in a meeting or a session. And then I was like: Why the hell aren't there any Low Stations like at other diabetes events??? Because there's not to many patients able to, that's why!
And my mind kept going back to the session I'd been at a day earlier regarding the closed loop and the artificial pancreas. I think the speaker had been from Medtronic but I couldn't recall because my brain wasn't functioning at that moment.
Anyway, the speaker said (and I'm paraphrasing here) That it makes absolutely no sense to keep pumping insulin into a body all night via the insulin pump, when that body was going low!
And of course I agreed whole heartedly with that statement, 1000% in fact.
And as I sat there in the Grand Hall, I kept repeating that phrase in my head while simultaneously thinking: This makes no sense that I have no glucose suspend option except for turning off suspending insulin delivery on my own.
And I kept thinking how great it would be to a cgm/insulin pump that would have done suspended insulin delivery well before hand, and in essence would have prevented this mind blowing low I was currently experiencing. For Christ sakes I was blowing a 48!!! And It never should have gotten to that!!
Then I checked my blood sugar again, it was 64 and I popped open another granola bar and ate half, then called Bennet. I wanted to catch up with him and on a purely selfish level, I knew that hearing his voice would make me feel better.
So I called him and without really realizing it ( though I think he totally did because I'd told him that I was coming off a low,) he calmed me down.
"Make sure you keep eating long acting carbs tonight before bed, because I don't want you to go low," he said.
Me: Thanks, I will!
Bennett: I hope you don't think I'm crossing some sort of line, it's just having two kids with diabetes, makes me like this.
Me: No, I totally appreciate it. I miss having parental units hovering over me. But I'm fine - my bg now had now creeped up to 72 - give or take the 10 to 20 % margin of error in either direction and we kept chatting.
Then we finally said goodbye and LY/MI. But I didn't get up from the table. I was tired and I couldn't believe I was only 72. And then I looked at the clock on my iPad and couldn't believe that almost an hour had passed. Spacey lows and shiny marble floors had sucked me into some diabetes time and space continuum and I'd missed the session I'd been on my way to attend.
But sometimes shit happens, and spacey lows and shiny marble floors take precedence. As does talking on the phone with your friend who not only gets diabetes, but has lived it.