Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Waiting Out A Low Blood Sugar & Recalling 3 Out of The 9 Circles of Hell

Every now and then weird shit pops into my mind. Whether it's a commercial jingle from way back when, an obscure movie reference or facts I wasn't even aware I'd remembered until they popped back into my head. 
During my low blood sugar last night, long ago facts from a college literature class popped into this Litt major's head and made for some interesting diabetes analogies - And even though it makes for a strange pairing at first glance- I think it actually makes sense in the end. 
You know when your blood sugar's low right before you start to make dinner so you drink some juice and then you try your best to "wait it out,"  because you don't want to ruin your dinner?

But "waiting it out" doesn't work so you eat saltines with peanut butter & strawberry jam, because you live  by yourself and you're self sufficient  and you want to stay alive & this particular low makes you feel vulnerable in all all of the above areas.

But even with waiting, your blood sugar feels like it's still in the 3rd Circle of Hell, where according to Dante, the gluttons are punished by lying in a vile freezing slush and are guarded by a 3 headed hound named Ceberus (think Fluffy from Harry Potter,) which makes sense because at this point I do feel like I’m being punished for my insatiable hunger - And I’m starting to break into a cold sweat. 
And then I wonder out loud: Why the hell am I remembering Dante’s Circles of Hell at a time like this?  
Seriously, WTF?
Why does my brain remember such obscure facts at the weirdest and most inopportune of times? I don’t get it.
I don't know, maybe my brain pulls out long forgotten facts to take my mind off moments that are scary. 

I’ve left Hell's Third Circle and some how I've made it to the 2 Circle of Hell, where the "lustful souls are tossed about in a violent storm without any hope for rest." 

This actually makes sense because I feel battered and like this stormy low is never ending.
I feel like my blood sugar will never go up and shove more peanut butter and jam covered saltines in my mouth because my lips are numb & I know that's not a good thing. 

Again - I try and wait the low out and I sit at my computer and type what’s happening and what’s going through my head and for the life of my I can't believe that in this low blood sugar haze I’m thinking about Dante’s Inferno  - I didn’t even get an A in that class - I think I got a B, and honestly, I haven’t thought about that class since I took it!
I still think about my John Milton class from time to time - But I did my Major Authors paper on Paradise Lost - And got a B in that class - And I remember being really happy about that because if anyone had told me that I would spend an entire semester studying and writing about John Milton and getting a B in the class I wouldn't have believed them.... But I digress. 

Which leads me to Limbo - Dante's First Circle of Hell - that's where I am right now - In limbo - where Dante says the unbaptized & virtuous pagans live. 

And at this moment I really can relate to those virtuous pagans - I am one of them after all - Right now I’m praying to the Diabetes Gods to bring my blood sugar back up from the beneath surface so I can breath again. 

And now I've come up for air... I feel better and sick all rolled into one. 
My blood sugar has gone up fast, too fast for comfort. It’s gone up from 62 to 90 and then 25 minutes later ( and an hour and 10 minutes after the low) it’s now 164.

I'm tired and do a correction bolus, my head hurts and my dinner plans of a roast beef sandwich on Esekiel bread with Pacific Hearty Tomato soup & and broccoli sautéed in olive oil and garlic will have to wait for another night. 

I have a headache and my stomach is full and I feel terrible. 
This low has left me tired and little teary eyed and I’m annoyed at my body in all its dimensions. 

Next time my blood sugar drops I hope my brain recalls something more pleasant - Dante & his 9 Circles of Hell are total downers - even if you're only recalling the first 3.

So.... Any weird facts or memories float through your mind during a low or high blood sugar haze?  


Anonymous said...

There is definately a correlation between our lows and triggering the creative side of our brains. Generally my creativity is nonexistant but when I'm low, I can have the the best out of the box ideas. This is odd.


Jeff said...

Oh my Kelly... I so know what you mean and am right there with you.

Strange as it is though... I've had some of my most important revelations coming out of lows like you describe. I've managed to write down the essence of some of them over the years too. A weird combo of happy / sad truths for me at least.

Big time (virtual) hugs and smiles to you.

StephenS said...

I often wish I had some sort of brain recorder that would take down everything happening when I'm low. It's amazing how smart and creative we get during those times.

Cara said...

Ug! I hate lows like that. :(