Doctor's Appointment And Reminding Myself To Breathe

This post began as a facebook post on Wednesday - I kept thinking about it, added to it and posted here today. 
Also: I need to start yoga again. 

#Iwishpeopleknewthatdiabetes means some days you stress out more than others. 

Wednesday was one of those days. It was the second appointment of my twice yearly eye exams. 

I went in my appointment stressed because it's freaking stressful - and I had to remind myself to breathe - and multiple times. 

Breathe in, let the breath out and think of all the things that make me happy. 

Breathe in and remind myself that no matter the outcome, knowledge is power. 

Breath out and release all the stress. 
Start again from the top and with gusto - and don't forget to breathe!

Things looked the same on the ocular front. 

Translation: Things looked good on the ocular front. I was grateful. 

And I was exhausted.
Grateful for those evasive and twice yearly eye exams - with that being said - they are mentally and physically draining.
Physically, because my eyes are numbed, dilated, checked for pressure, scanned via computer with blue and red lasers a'la Star Wars to check for damage - diabetes and otherwise

Emotionally these exams stress me out - because of diabetes, the "diabetes what ifs," and for those of you who have read the blog for a decade or more - the very real fear of one in a million occurrences that changes the way you see things in the blink of an eye - LITERALLY.

And because people living with diabetes are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

After the exam it felt like a weight had been removed from my chest. Relieved, happy and tired - because for some reason the numbing and dilating drops always make me feel like I'm on decaf and in need of a nap - which I'm told is normal. 
So an extra iced coffee for me. YAY. 

Wednesday's weather was sunny and beautiful, but because my eyes are extremely sensitive to light immediately after an eye exam - and even with me channeling Jackie O, via my incredibly fab and totally glam prescription sunglasses, (the are magnificent - see for yourself,) I embraced my inner vampire and stayed indoors.

I worked on the computer for a bit, then decided offline work was the way to go. 

My eyes remained the size saucers for most of the day and yours truly looked like an anime character - not quite Sailor Moon, not quite Olive Oil, all Kelly. 

I'm sharing because doing so allows me to "let it go," and reminds me that I am not the only one.