I'm not against airport security - I get it. I'm against the lack of communication and the incredible inconsistencies with TSA screenings and screeners across the board and in all dimensions. Also, my language gets really salty in this post - But for good reason.
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| Blog Facebook Page Status from April 28th . |
It all started on Sunday morning, April 28th, 2013 at Philadelphia International Airport on my way to the Lilly Diabetes Blogger Summit, when I tried to do the right thing with my loaner insulin pump. Instead of throwing it in my handbag or hiding it in my nether regions, I asked for a a visual inspection of my insulin pump and was met with a surprising: Sure, no problem.
And that “sure no problem,” made me really happy. Maybe this time would be different - Maybe TSA was going to get it right.
The TSA agent called for backup. I went through the “magic doorway" sans pump and waited for another TSA Agent to arrive and give my loaner insulin pump a good old visual inspection.
The TSA Agent Pump inspector was nice enough, he really was. And we chatted about insulin pumps, even when he asked me to fondle my pump - his words, not mine.
He swabbed my pump with a gray piece of paper and placed said paper in a machine that looked like a stenography machine with a computer screen.
We waited for the results and TSA Inspector was in the middle of telling me how he'd just watched a tv show about the 100 greatest inventions of the century & how the insulin pump had mad the list.
I was just about to ask him what network the show was on ,when the machine he'd placed the swab samples in, screen turned red & flashed: EXPLOSIVES DETECTED, in loud screaming caps.
"What does that mean?!" I asked in a panic. And FTR, I knew exactly what it meant, I was just scared shitless.
He didn't look at me, HE just told me to wait until the female TSA Agents arrived.
I asked: Is the machine broken? can we test it again?? Is it because I washed my hands 30 minutes ago? Is it the glycerin from the soap?
TSA Inspector: Ma'am, it could be 1 of 10,000 different substances that test positive as explosive materials - But this isn’t protocol - Please wait for the female TSA Agents to arrive.
And then two female TSA Agents (one short and one tall) arrived, and those two women scooped up my handbag an carry-on, and stood on either side of me (think Dorothy nestled between The Tin-man & The Scarecrow,) escorted me off too a little gray makeshift room in the middle of Philadelphia International, led me in and then immediately closed the door behind them.
They asked me If I was traveling alone and who packed my bags,
And then the tall one told me that my device had tested positive for explosive residue and that they were going to go through my bags for explosives and explosive residue. And then then the tall one told me that she was going to give me an “extensive pat down.”
And all that kept going through my head was:
1. I was alone in every sense of the word
2. I didn’t feel safe or protected - In fact I felt the opposite of those two words - Vulnerable, unprotected and exposed
3. No one would know where I was if I didn’t show up at Indy Airport
4. Did this happen from washing my hands ( I saw FIGHT CLUB, I know what glycerin can do) or was some minuscule residue of insulin on my pump causing all this to happen?
5. Why wasn’t anyone looking at me in the eye or answering my questions?
Me: Has this happened a lot this morning?? Do you have issues with your equipment? Should I not have washed my hands??
The tall one didn’t answer my questions, she avoided them completely and told me what was going to happen and why and then asked me if I had any sensitive areas on my body.
Me: Yeah, all of it - My whole body is sensitive. Shoulders, vagina - All of it.
Tall TSAer: I'll be careful not to hurt you.
Stand on this mat & put your arms out and spread your legs wider apart.
Yep, she told me to "spread them."
And then she told me exactly what she was about to do - I stared at her and tried to remain calm. And as I stood on the mat with my legs wide apart, I looked across the room and saw Shortie riffling through my hand bag and she picked up& opened my blue silk Dbag.
Me: My insulin’s in there!
Shorty: Her insulin is in here - I'm swabbing it.
Me: Jesus, be careful that’s a brand new bottle!!
Sidebar: 1 bottle of insulin costs me $138 - With insurance! Insulin allows allows me to live my life, it's my elixir of life - And if she dropped it and that bottle broke, I was fucked.
Shortie dumped the bag out and out came my spare infusion site, insulin, two unused needles (just in case) and the bank envelope with my cash in it.
The same went on with my makeup bag and toothbrush holder & the zip lock bag that held my contact case, disposable contacts and backup glasses, the box of granola bars and the bottle of glucose tabs were also inspected.
My Carry-on was examined and she looked at my box of infusion sets like they could do some serious damage and asked, "What's this?"
Me: It's THIS: Then I lifted up my shirt ever so slightly and showed them my tubing and infusion site.
My computer was swabbed and it's case was searched, same goes for my iPad.
So were my sneakers.
And all the while, the tall one had divided my body into quadrants
Left arm, shoulder, right arm and shoulder. My breasts were felt under and over, all around my abdomen was patted and my infusion ( left abdomen) site was examined.
And then Tall TSAer looked at me and told me that she was going to put her hand under my yoga pants waist band and do 180 circumference check in the front and then in the back.
I looked her in the eye and said: This is crazy.
She started around with her thumb on the exterior of my yoga pants waistband and her four fingers on the inside of my waist band - her hand stayed on my abdomen & around the circumference of my waistband - nothing lower. But it was still too close for comfort - it was still too evasive and it made me extremely uncomfortable. When she stood behind me to start the second leg of her 360 abdomen search she said: Ma'am, unclip your, your..
Me: My insulin pump - IT’S MY INSULIN PUMP.
Tall TSA: Yes, your insulin pump. And she finished her tour.
She pointed to my head and said: Take your hair out of the clip. And then she but her gloved hands through my hair and swabbed away.
Tall TSA:Now I'm going to pat your legs, up & down, front ( including your private area) and then do the same in the back. . And that's what she did - then she felt me & down and under the calf area of my yoga pants.
ME: This is bullshit, you haven’t even bought me dinner yet.
FTR, she was not amused.
Then she told me to balance myself by putting my hand on the table so she could check the bottom of my socks.
And then she put the swabs in a machine, pressed some buttons and a minute later she told me I was goods to go.
And I stared at her for a good 10 seconds until she said: Uh.... ma'am, I said you’re good to go.
Me: I heard what you said. Are you going to tell me what exactly caused this?
Tall TSA: There’s nothing to report - you’re good.
Me: Well apparently I wasn’t before, or I wouldn’t be here.
And then I started to repack my bags, slowly and methodically, so I knew where everything was, and to give me a moment to fight back my tears.
I felt humiliated and violated and no-one could tell me exactly why this happened.
Tall TSAer kept looking at her watch as I repacked my bags and after about a minute said. Ma’am you gotta hurry up.
And this would be the point where I kept my voice low and calm, but didn’t mince my words.
Me: You can wait while I get my shit together. You dragged me out of the security line, you won’t give me an explanation as to why this happened, you riffled through my things and you didn’t even buy me fucking dinner before you felt me up like some cheap date. You didn’t even say you were sorry for the inconvenience. So you can wait until I’m ready.
And then I put on my shoes, grabbed my bags and got the fuck out of there. Tears were streaming down my face as I walked to my terminal.
I understand the need for airport security, I really do. I remember 911, I’ve been in the London train station when the bomb alarms have gone off - I know the world we live in is very different than the world pre 911.
What I don’t understand is the constant inconsistency of the TSA, the lack of rhyme or reason - not to mention the lack of communication and respect for those being inspected. Some airports will do a visual inspection, others won’t - And I've argued with them that they should and can. Some TSA Agents don’t even know what’s written on their own website re: visual inspections, medical equipment, etc.
I know, understand and accept the fact that having diabetes and a portable pancreas clipped to my hip makes me a target for a more thorough TSA inspection.
What I don’t know, understand or accept is the inconsistencies of TSA Security and the lack of respect and common courtesy that some TSA agents don't give me or any other person with a medical condition and external hard/software.
I'm not against airport security, I'm against the lack of communication and the incredible inconsistencies with TSA screenings and screeners.
If I have a question - Answer it - Lord knows I’m answering all of yours - And getting felt up and down by TSA Agents wearing latex gloves and who speak in soundbites isn’t my idea of a pleasant travel experience.
And just maybe if you take a moment to look me in the eye and answer my questions - It will calm me down and help me to get through what you're about to do to me.
And quite frankly, I don’t understand why every fucking time I go through the airport with my insulin pump I run into problems - I've written about my experiences with TSA time and again, as have many in the Diabetes On-line Community. And I/we always do the right thing - I know what’s written on the TSA website - hell I print it out almost every time I travel!
I have my diabetes documentation and I do my best to remain calm in a situation that is anything but.
The problem isn’t on my end - It’s on TSA’s end & the fact that no two airports in the entire United States enforce the TSA rules & regulations the same way.
And for the record TSA: I didn’t clean or swab my pump when I was in Indiana, and when I went through security at Indy Airport - they gave my insulin pump a visual inspection - And it tested negative for explosives - And reinforcing the fact the problem wasn’t on my end - It was on yours - You’re equipment failed, not mine. Your whole system seems to be a major fail - So man up fix what's broken.
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| Personal FB Page Status from the morning of April 28th |
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