Because Even With Health Insurance, You Still Tough It Out.

Diabetes makes us tough - but I don't always want to be tough. 
I don't always want to consider the cost re: every diabetes move I make. 
With that being said - I'm going to plow through the muck and find the lotus - but I gotta bitch a little bit~
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You walk around with a new infusion site that you unknowingly placed in a patch of skin that doesn't really absorb like it should, but you're afraid you'll run out of infusion sites before your next shipment of pump supplies gets delivered in January. 
So you make excuses. "Maybe I shouldn't have had the leftover mash potatoes with my leftover turkey, at dinner - it MUST have been those damn mashed potatoes." OR "I didn't get my exercise in today and it shows." But deep in your heart, pancreas, and mind, you know it's because it's the ghost of zombie sites past - that the new infusion site has hit a zombie patch of skin - not quite dead, but definitely not alive in the sense that it's not utilizing the insulin that's going into your body from the electronic pancreas that's clipped to your hip.

But you decide to tough it out because insurance. 

You walk around in the high hundreds to low 220s and then some - and you use copious amounts of insulin. You blow through your Monday and you make it your bitch with a vengeance because NOTHING is going to stop you.
You correction bolus, finish one project and start another and you don't stop - until you can't take it anymore. 

Then you remove the less than 24 hour old infusion site from the zombie spot and put in a new one. 

And a little over an hour later your numbers drop back to normal. 

And you feel mad and guilty all rolled into one - Mad because another part of your body has betrayed you - And mad because a box of infusion sets equals a car payment. 

Mad because your deductible is so high you will most likely never reach it by January. 
Guilty because you picked the wrong worn out patch of skin. 

Guilty because even with rotating sites like boss, you're one of the reasons that patch of skin is now longer subcutaneously astute. 

But you're damn thankful that the new site works and that you have backup infusion sites. 

And then you write a blog post, ASAP because you have to articulate how you're feeling to people who "get it," and you haven't even utter the D word. 

Diabetes Math, Battling Insurance Companies, Dead-Spots & Zombie Infusion Sites....

I always put off changing an infusion set that’s less than 48 hours old - not because I’m lazy, but because of insurance coverage re: my supplies and the lack there of. 
And it drives me crazy. 
In a perfect world, 1 box containing 10 infusion sets  = 1 infusion set every 3 days, which = a 30 day month supply. 
In a perfect world, 3 boxes of infusion sites = a 90 day supply.
But that’s not how any of this works in real life because life isn’t perfect, and life with diabetes is anything but - even when you do everything right - which is pretty damn impossible, diabetes or not. Yep, four boxes of infusion sites every three months gives us a little relief and a little wiggle room and are the keys to our mental and physical health.   
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As I stated above, I almost always hold off changing a less than 48 hour old infusion site when it’s obviously having issues syphoning insulin. 

I don’t want to run out of infusion sites. I don’t have to fight to get more infusion sites from my pump company and I don’t want to have to pay for them. 

But I do. 

I don’t want to battle with my insurance company to cover 4 boxes every three months because my insurance company is all about the math. 
1 box containing 10 infusion sets  = 1 infusion set every 3 days, which = a 30 day month supply. 
In a perfect world, 3 boxes of infusion sites = a 90 day supply.
But in my imperfect diabetes world, four boxes of infusions sites every three months keeps me covered when it comes to real life infusion site occurrences.
Things like:
Skin sensitivity  
Dead spots 
Zombie infusion sites
(Zombie infusions kinda, sorta syphon in the insulin, but not so much. Zombie infusion sites  have you running blood sugars in the 150 to 180 range and require more insulin. And when you do change the site, your numbers go back to normal.)  
Doorknobs 
SPANX killing off a new infusion site within 20 hours of wearing said SPANX 
Yoga pants yanking out infusion sites 
Bungie pumping, pumps that falter and rip your site 
Leg sites that only last 30 beautiful and perfect hours before they crap out for good because leg sites get more action than abdomen sites 
Abdomen infusion sites that are precariously close to pant buttons and jean rivets
Infusion site adhesive that unsticks, ASAP and for no reason at all  
Abdomen infusion sites that inadvertently getting rubbed by handbags and losing their magic sucking in the insulin, power.

I (and by I, of course I mean WE,) shouldn’t have to risk extended damaging our valuable real-estate or elevated blood sugars because of all of the above. 

Nor should we have to choose the lessor of two evils - Using more insulin and risk running out before our insulin Rx can be refilled, or risk running of infusions sites before that RX can be refilled.
So while I don't want to fight for my fourth box of infusion sites,
I ABSOLUTELY DO FIGHT FOR MY FOURTH BOX OF INFUSION SITES - because I absolutely need them. 
I've gone so far as to email my insurance company pictures of what an infusion site actually is, where it goes and what it does, because the people who are doing the denying, have absolutely no clue. 
Why am I writing this post? Because after 3 days of infusion site bliss and lovely numbers, I put in a new infusion site Saturday night, which ended up being placed directly in a dead-spot and had to change it out 2.5 hours later. 
That second site was a zombie site, but it took me until Monday morning to change it because I didn't want to admit it was another site issue - I didn't want to deal with the diabetes math and I was really, truly hoping it was just me requiring extra insulin instead of another site issue. 
And now I'm sharing because I'm thinking that some of you might be able to relate.

Yesterday's Wild Blood Sugar Ride From Hell.

Post by Diabetesaliciousness.

As you can see from yesterday's Diabetesalicious Facebook status, late Saturday evening into Sunday afternoon involved a rarely occurring and out of the blue blood sugar ride from hell, a test in patience and a few reminders along the way. 
Sometimes wild blood sugar rides come out of the blue and can take you forever to extricate yourself from. 
Said BG ride from hell leaves you with a continually filling bladder that refuses to empty, small ketones and a long sleepless night that leaves resembling a character out of the Zombie flick. 
Except you don't want or need to eat brains, you want, need and require sleep and the ability to eat your breakfast without fearing ketones and blood sugars in the mid 260s.
And you NEED COFFEE. So against your better judgement, you bolus for and drink a small cup around 9 a.m., so you won't go completely off the deep-end. And regardless of the high blood sugars, you're glad you did. 
You find that you've entered a weirdly Zen state, where you've completely detached yourself from the infuriating numbers on the screen in order to stay calm and conquer them. And because you live by yourself, you're really glad for that weird Zen thing happening and embrace it, because you're afraid of what will happen if you don't.
 And finally, you win.
You feel like you've gone 12 rounds with the devil and fell down a lot. But you crawled back up and you finally won. 
but instead of doing a victory dance around the ring, you circle back to the kitchen, bolus for and eat a slice of toast with peanut butter and then crawl into bed and take nap at 3 pm. 
And as you drift off to sleep, you try not to think about the four zombie infusion sets you went through during the ride and focus on directing thanks to the fact that the blood sugar ride from hell happened on a Saturday night into Sunday, instead of during the week. 
And you're incredibly thankful to be off that fucking ride and vow never go back on it again..... but of course, eventually you will... and you know that. 
And you'll handle it, because you don't have a choice not to. 

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The Winner of Friday's KINDSnacks Giveaway is Abby Travis.

Congrats Abby, I'll be sending you an email today to get your shipping address!

And if you didn't win, thanks for entering and keep trying - There are new giveaways on the way!!

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