Ringing in 2011

Tonight we ring in 2011 and all of our hopes and dreams in the process.

I hope that 2011 brings all of you much love; luck, happiness, good health, Blood Sugar Nirvana, bolus worthy foods and more laughter than tears!

Life brings us lots of challenges - diabetes and otherwise, but hope does indeed float and the with the DOC on our side, we can do and survive anything!

My goals for 2011 are simple and challenging all at the same time.

To get my diabetes ass in gear and get my A1c Back between 6.5 & 6.9.

To send my diabetes burnout packing - Tune in on Monday for more details.

To take my diabetes professional life to the next level. I've booked some more speaking gigs, started consulting, and I'm working on several freelance articles.

My greatest weakness (my broken pancreas) has now become my greatest strength and biggest passion and I want to make my passion my FULL TIME career!

To participate in more D Meet-ups - LOVE THEM!

Find that someone who knocks my socks off!

And finally, I want to continue living my life laughing, being grateful and filled with hope while keeping my snarky skills razor sharp & my Diabetes Bitch Switch in working order!

HAPPY 2011 & I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!

Diabetesalicious Recap: I Tried To Keep It Short & Sweet - And I Failed!

So, now that 2010 is all but over and everyone is all about recapping and the likes there of, I figured I’d link to some of Diabetesalicousness posts/terms that were well received - or not.

I couldn’t stick to the top 10, no matter how hard I tried - I've never been very good at editing and my apologies in advance.

So here are more than 12, but less than 19 links that you might remember – or not!

12/7/10: Go Ahead, Flip Your Diabetes Bitch/Wit Switch - This was so well received that Joanne over at Death Of A Pancreas actually used it as the basis of her diabetes animation.

11/10/10: The Onion BLOWS! Not only does The Onion blow chucks, but they totally missed their golden chance to make things right with the Diabetes Community- both on-line and off!

11/5/10: Pitching MythBusters & The DISCOVERY Channel an episode on diabetes myth busting!!

10/28/10: There But For The Grace Of Diabetes Go I - Bottom line, we all need a helping hand!

9/29/10: Scared, Cynical, And The Diabetes Holy Grail - Don’t pitch me your latest book and honestly, I don't care that your married to a doctor - that's not important to me. If your going to tweet the term cure around in the same sentence as your book and NOT expect me to call you on it, guess again. Because I take the term Diabetes Cure to heart - as does every, single person living with diabetes (or who has a loved one with diabetes) and I don't like it when people the term diabetes cure lightly. I actually find it incredibly hurtful and offensive~

9/21/10: Diabetes Moments of WTF – Daily occurrences in our Diabetes Life~

8/10: Symlin Sticker Shock – It takes a lot of money to be a PWD & Insurance Companies Love $$!

8/9/10: Conversations With A PowerPuff Girl – Kids ALWAYS amaze me!

8/5/10: HFCS, We're Not Confused, YOU ARE! – And I think HFCS is full of shit!

7/8/10: Life Lessons Courtesy of Diabetes – Tee Shirts & Bumper Stickers available shortly! ;)

6/14/10: Diabetes Bible Cure MY ASS!

5/18/10: Your chance to tell Diabetes Healthcare Professionals what you want from them!

4/22/10: Shout Out To The Lurkers!

3//10: Meters Are Our GPS System

2/18/10: If Diabetes Was An Olympic Sport - We’d All Get The Gold

2/5/10: Dear Oprah & Dr. Oz – Your Diabetes Show Was A MAJOR FAIL!

1/25/10: Grown Up CWDs And Today’s Parents Of CWDs, What About CWDs participating in their disease?

1/19/10: Dear Drs. Banting & Best – I LOVE YOU

Year End Prescriptions & Being High Maintenance - And Being WORTH IT!

Having diabetes requires continually count carbs, testing our blood sugars again and again, run ins with the diabetes police, carry spare batteries, and living 24X7 with diabetes. For those of us with health insurance and high deductibles, it's time to get our prescriptions refilled before years end - preferably a 3-month supply verses a 30-day supply.

My prescriptions stress me out for several reasons. There's the cost, which is just insane, the fact that I have to take so many prescriptions in order to walk around, and the fact that I have to justify said prescriptions to not only my insurance company (who seem to question the majority of them every 6 months or so without fail,) and just as annoying, I have justify them to myself and my friends.

A good friend recently asked me: Do you have to be on cholesterol med? Maybe if you just cut the fat out of your diet and did more exercise you might not need it.

My response: I continually watch, calculate, and bolus for what I put in my body, but genetically speaking, my DNA SUCKS. The fact that I'm on the lowest amount of cholesterol and blood pressure meds to begin with is a freaking miracle, considering all 4 Grand parents, both parents, a multitude of aunts, uncles, cousins and siblings all have or had heart disease. I take them just as much for preventative measures as I do the fact that my cholesterol started fluctuating a few years ago. I can't fight my genetics, but I can make them behave with some help.

Let’s face it, I'm high maintenance and I always will be. And because of that I certainly pay the high healthcare premiums. I don't want to have to continually fight and explain the WHY of it all.

I don't want to give up another food group and I don't want to feel guilty because of my genetics.

I just want to BE, and live, and love, and prosper.

On the outside, we Kunik's are quite the lookers, but structurally, we need some help.

My Achilles heel is my genetic makeup, but it's also my greatest strength. My genetics have made me tenacious and strong and my genetics have forced me to continually pull myself up from my bootstraps whenever I’ve wallowed in the mud of life's shit storm for too long!

This post started out as a reminder for you to get your prescriptions filled, but ended up being something entirely different.

Bottom line: Get your RXs filled before the year’s end and save the receipts for your taxes. And continue to fight for the medication & durable medical equipment that you need because your good health and peace of mind are absolutely worth it - And don't let anyone tell you different!

Christmas Snowmageddon 2010 - Were You Prepared?

This is my front door - and that's my snow shovel under all that snow!

I can't actually open my front door to get to said snow shovel, but I digress!

Photo courtesy of my iPhone

Well, the Blizzard is over - and I still can't physically get out or open my front door - I kid you not and see above pic.

The storm hit us hours earlier than expected and luckily, I was prepared -as was my checklist.

Back up insulin √

1 week supply of Daily Meds √

Extra Pump Supplies √

Extra testing supplies √

Extra Pump Batteries √

Toilet Paper √

Extra Vanilla Silk Soy Milk √

Extra Food, including but not limited too; bacon, eggs, 3/4 of an apple crisp pie from

Christmas, Christmas Cookies, Sweet Potato Biscotti, larabars, chicken, broccoli, green beans, hot chocolate,frozen blueberries, tangerines, Kashi Healthy Heart Cereal, Ezekiel Bread, Peanut Butter, Honey, Tea, Coffee, 1/2 & 1/2, Red Wine, Bottled H2O √

Flash Light/batteries √

List of Movies ready to be purchased On-Demand.√

But I have to admit folks, I hadn't really planned that this blizzard would pack such freaking wallop - I was just lucky that I had all my meds and supplies and had gone food shopping a few days before Christmas.

Diabetes or not, Mother Nature can screw with us royally - just because because she can! And every once in a while, girlfriend likes to remind us of that fact and flip her BitchSwitch! And I respect that and can totally relate, but I digress.

So, for those of you you who experienced Christmas Snowmaggedon 2010, were you prepared?

And for those of you who didn't experience it, would you have been prepared?

Peace, Love, Joy & Good Blood Sugars To All!

A magical big deal in the form of a BIG WHEEL on a Christmas morning long ago....

Regardless of your faith, may your Christmas Eve be "merry and brite" and filled with friends, family and lots of love!

May your Christmas morning be filled with laughter, love, and Christmas magic in the form of Big Wheels, Easy- Bake Ovens, "an official Red Ryder Carbine- Action Two Hundred shot Range Model Air Rifle" and the likes there of...

And may your blood sugars hold steady while you indulge in bolus worthy food and good times!

Peace, Love, Joy & Good Blood Sugars to all!

Old School Is Great When It Comes To Rap, But Not So Much When It Comes To Diabetes!

I'm off to the Apple store to get a new charger because my mac book pro charger melted- YES, MELTED and Lord knows when I'll make back!

The following video is totally old school! It's RUN - DMC's "Christmas In Hollis."

The song and video came out in 1987, back when testing your your blood sugar took 3 minutes and came with an instruction book that was 120 pages long, there was no such thing as counting carbs, lancing devices were considered deadly weapons and insulin pumps were the size of VCR tapes. Everything delicious was off limits and there was no such thing as "options" in the world of diabetes.

"Old School" is awesome when it comes to rap music, but not so much when it comes to diabetes care. Remember that as your "chilling and coolin just like a snow man" this holiday season!

Rock out to the tune and count your blessings that diabetes management has come such a long way, because many of us barely survived the diabetes dark ages!

As for me, I'll be line at the Apple store! "Naughty, naughty!"

I Woke Up This Morning And What Did I See?

HUH?

Whaaaaat?

So I woke up this morning,

And what to my wondering eyes should appear?

Not eight tiny reindeer's - NO, it was something much more cavalier.

I stared straight at my pump tubing tangled in the tassels of my snowflake PJ's

Not knowing how to start to untangle my pump tubing maze.

After unplugging myself from my tethered confines

I unraveled my heavily travelled pump tubing line.

It's always something with diabetes you see

Be it being told by the D-Police to try Cinnamon enemas for a cure, or drink ginormous gallons of green tea.

Be it sneaky doorknobs, or bolus worthy crisp apple strudel

Stubborn bg highs and plummeting lows

Or a leaving a test strip trail right under one's nose.

On this morning instead, I chose to laugh out loud-

And decided that the best course of action would obviously be...

To blame it all on Kerri's post yesterday, over at Sixuntilme.

Dear Santa

Dear Santa:

“I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!”

NO, not really! But seriously Santa, there’s a few things that I’m really hoping you can help me with – some diabetes, some, not so much.

Oh, and as far as being "good," that would certainly depend on your definition of the word, but for the most part, I totally have been!

Same applies for your definitions of naughty and nice, but I digress.

Back to my list -

I’d like a cure for diabetes - like TODAY!

But if your elves can’t make that happen, (something tells me they may lack certain scientifical skills required to find said diabetes cure) maybe you could send some of your magic North Pole vibes to places like the Diabetes Research Institute Foundation so their scientists can find us a cure!

The rest of my list is simple:

Santa, (and PLEASE excuse my language,) I’d like my insurance company to get a fucking clue and cease and desist with the following criminal activities:

1 Monthly Premiums that are sky high

2. Charging an absolutely ridiculous rate for my insulin and symlin

3. Playing "eeny, meeny,miny, moe," as far as who gets CGMS and sensors coverage

4. Screwing around with the number of test strips they’ll cover a month - In this case 3 is most definitely not a magic number- it's down right deadly.

My next request requires some political maneuvering on your part. Is there anyway that legally stopping the Corn Refiners ASSociation n from changing the name of HFCS to Corn sugar – I’d greatly appreciate it!

And while you’re at it, maybe you could just put a kibosh on the whole HFCS bullshit in general!

Mr. Santa K, Please find an antidote for Bieber Fever - ASAP

Santa - I’m tired of the Media getting it all wrong re: diabetes. Please do something to stop the perpetuation of diabetes myths and stereotypes!

Side Bar: I've already written a post on this subject, but I have feel the need to bring it to your attention.

I really think the MythBusters team could help with the whole stopping the perpetuation of the afore mentioned diabetes myths and stereotypes.

Maybe, and this is just a thought because I wouldn’t want to tell you how to do your job – God knows you’re the Yuletide expert Mr Klaus. But maybe you could perhaps threaten Jamie and the crew with coal in their stockings if they don’t do Diabetes MythBusters episode, they'd actually consider filming said episode.

And finally Santa, please bless my entire DOC family this season with hope; laughter, prosperity, good health, good blood sugars & love.

They mean the world to me and I love them from the bottom of my imperfect pancreas.

They are my light; my teachers, my friends and my family – and I love them all very much.

Your Pal,

Kelly Kunik~

Trying To Maintain And Occasionally Refrain, & Not Go Completely Batshit!

The holidays aren't about the food as much as their about spending time with friends and family, but the food certainly comes into play - BIG TIME.

So this holiday season I'm trying to "maintain" and occasionally "refrain," and still enjoy all the tastes of the season.

And I have to say, by not denying myself, I'm able (for the most part) to not go completely bat shit with the carb overloading! At least.... for now.

Granted, the Christmas party on Saturday was a bit of challenge, what with the Roasted pig (porky was 5 feet long from head to tail); shrimp cocktail, veggie crudites, a tray of Italian lunch meats that was off the hook, cheeses & homemade antipasto, fresh baked rolls, lasagna, broccoli rabe,etc . And did I mention the trays of Italian Christmas cookies, brownie cake, and an Italian cheesecake that was at least a foot thick? Yeah, it was a totally insane spread!

The party had the potential to be a recipe for disaster, both gastrointestinally and blood sugar wise.

But I refrained from the rolls and the pasta, and the chips, and paced myself with the food/portions, and honestly, with such a crazy spread, diabetes or not, pacing yourself was critical! But the real key to keeping keeping the gluttony to a minimum, is to make sure catching up with friends & meeting new ones is kept up to a maximum!

And by focusing on the people and not the ginormous spread, I was able to thoroughly enjoyed the pork and cheese, veggie crudites, broccoli rabe, shrimp, & antipasto and avoid the feeling of feeling like my stomach was about to explode! I was also able to indulge in more than my share of cookies, and maintain my blood sugar all evening - I didn't go above 168.

Diabetesalicious minds want to know: How do you keep yourself from going batshit crazy during the holidays, and still feel like your not completely denying yourself the flavors & deliciousness of the holiday season?

And what are your absolute favorite holiday meals/treats to indulge in?

The League Of Extraordinary PWDs - Damn Right We're Super Sheroes/Heroes!

Summer, 2003:

At the 2003 International SFJLC (International Super Friends Justice League Conference) off the Amalfi Coast.
Good times....

So a few weeks ago on FaceBook, almost everyone I know was replacing their profile pic with a cartoon character from their childhood – and since I watched more than my share of cartoons as a kid (and continue to do so as an adult) I picked Wonder Woman from The Super Friends/Justice League Cartoons of the 70’s & 80’s.

I have a long history with Wonder Woman - we go way back! I watched her cartoon on Saturday mornings, and I watched Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman when it was on in the 70's. I had a Wonder Woman Barbie & for Christmas in 4th grade, my oldest sister bought me the Wonder Woman underoos for Christmas.

At first I was embarrassed, but I got over that quick when I realized how it would add to my Wonder Woman repertoire. And I was pissed when my mother told me that under no circumstances was I allowed to wear them as outer clothes when I was playing Super Heroes with the other children in the neighborhood!

Wonder Woman was cool, she was brunette and had awesome super powers and accessories, and was a true Amazon/Glamazon who kicked major ass!

Not to mention the fact she was continually surrounded by hot guys who may or may not have been “a friend of Dorothy.” So yeah, I could relate.

Cut to a week ago, my friend and I were getting ready to go to a Christmas party when she commented on my cartoon of choice profile pic.

Friend: Wonder Woman? I don’t know Kel, you have to be pretty awesome to live up to the standards set by Wonder Woman – Or any super hero for that matter!

Me: I’m not worried about that- I pretty much kick ass. Actually, it was a toss-up between Wonder Woman & Wolverina, but since Wolverina wasn’t a cartoon of our youth, (but boy does she kick ass and look smoking hot while doing it!) I went with Wonder Woman.

Friend: Oh, you kick ass Kel! I’m just joking with you – I love that you used that pic!

And I never doubted for a second that she wasn't joking, because she's one of my best friends and biggest fans! And I know she knows all the work that being me involves.

But for some reason that comment of having to be awesome to call yourself Wonder Woman or any super Shero/ Hero really stuck with me.

And I think the reason it stuck with me is because every single PWD is a Super Hero because our lives as PWDs require us to be.

We don’t have any choice but to develop our diabetes powers and become 21^st Century Diabetes Super Sheroes & Heroes.

Armed with our high tech (and not so high tech) diabetes arsenal including, bur not limited to; meters, insulin, pumps, cgm’s, glucotabs hidden in the most unexpected of places on our person, educating others and humor that many would say boarders on snarkiness and a few have said is downright bitchy & inappropriate!

Our high tech methods of communications in the form of the Diabetes On-line Community, phone apps, D – Super Friends Social networks and our lightening speed on the twitter, blogs, texts, and the email, we get the diabetes news and information out to others and learn more than a thing or two in the process.

Diabetes Super Heroes and Sheroes continue their daily battles with misbehaving blood sugars - both low and high, unexpected doorknobs peeking around every corner and diabetes myth busting at every turn! We continually deal with the stress of waiting for test results, and daily encounters from every division of the Diabetes Police, including; The Know it All Company, The Homeopathic Crew, The Insurance Company Brigade, and the Snake Oil Squadron – just to name a few.

And even when we feel diabetes burn out inching it’s way into our diabetes liar, we pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, dust ourselves off, and continue with our diabetes crusade every single day. We can’t help but be Super Sheroes and Heroes!

We are The League Of Extraordinary People With Diabetes and cape or not, we are super in every way!

But I have to admit; I really dig the Super Shero accessories!

Sidebar: I know that the idea of PWDS isn't a new one, we've all chatted, tweeted & written about it before - and it was mentioned again in #dsma last nite! Chris over at type1tidbits.com even has a whole Diabetes Super Heroes Blog Roll, but for some reason, the link isn't working.

Writers Block Totally Blows - But Miniature Donkeys Are Totally Cute!

So if you want to buy me Fancy for Christmas, click HERE!

Writers block totally blows!

And yes, I'm currently suffering from a gnarly case of writer’s block.

Maybe it’s because it’s like 10 days before Christmas and I have yet to complete shopping for those on my list.

Some might say the writer’s block is caused by the emotionally draining experience of going for my eye exam last Friday. Let’s just say I'm not a fan of my new Eye Dr - More on this subject in a future post.

Others could point the finger and put the blame on Animal Planet, more specifically, the really cute special they aired this past weekend called: Top 10:Peculiar Pets 101.

And ever since I watched said special, I’ve been incessantly googleing the following terms: Miniature pet donkey breeders in the tri-state area, do miniature donkeys make good pets & do miniature pet donkeys detect low blood sugars?

In the fantasyland that is my brain, I keep wondering if having a mini pet donkey would make the perfect pet for me. Seriously, those little mini donkeys are so freaking cute and they are so damn friendly! Seriously, they're like love puppies! Of course there’s the whole space issue and the fact that they don’t like dogs and I'm not sure if they get along with manatees ( my other fantasy pet), but I digress.

Maybe it’s the fact that there are 5 unfinished posts that require more research currently sitting in my “Posts in Progress” folder. And for some strange reason only known to the Blog Gods, I keep choosing to ignore said folder on my desktop.

Some believe it's a total chick thing related to PMS and my salt cravings this week.

Or, it might be because there was intense cupcake discussion today on twitter with @karen_mst , @sixuntilme, @cerichards21, @diabetic-iz-me, & @txtngmypancreas and now all I keep thinking about the dizzying and delicious varieties of cupcakes @ Stuffedcupcakes.com

Side Bar It's Karen's Diaversary today, so click HERE and tell her to have a Happy Diaversary!

So what do you do when you’re suffering from writers block? Do you embrace the clutter of information that’s currently crowding your brain and run with it, hoping it will lead you in the direction of all things blog post worthy?

Or do you ignore it and eek out a post you’re not really thrilled about?

Or do you forget about writing a post and punish yourself by listening to the inaudible/WTF are the kids thinking? sounds of “the Bieber” (I so don't get the whole Bieber Fever thing) in the hopes that your ears will bleed and you’ll be left uttering incoherent sentences from the self-inflected Bieber torture and won't have to worry about a blog post at all?

Diabetesalicious minds want to know~

I'm Verklempt!

Like my friend Linda Richman, I'm totally verklempt!

God I’ve missed you!

I apologize guys, It's been a crazy few days filled with a stomach virus; which was immediately followed the next day by an eye appointment that left me feeling dazed, confused & literally blinded by light, and job with uber computer issues the last two business days which left me unable to access the Internet from “said job,” not to mention throwing a wrench in completing certain “said job” projects on site sans cyber capacities.

Between you and me, I really contemplated biting the bullet and dialing up a la 1997 so I could revisit geocites and the likes there of ;)

So yes, it’s been challenging, frustrating, and I’m jonesing for my D-O-C fix, BIG TIME.

And don't even get me started on my attempt to Christmas shop over the weekend. Let's just say that the term "shit storm" more than sums up that experience. And note to the idiot in the TJMaxx parking lot who took up the last two parking spots with your Astro mini van: YOU’RE AN ASS-HAT and there’s a special place reserved for your kind in hell!

But out of all the chaos, something happened that had (and still has) me feeling surprised; honored, & emotional every time I think about it. I received an email last week letting me know that I’d been nominated for 3 Diabetes Online-Community awards (2010 DOC AWARDS) in the following categories:

Funniest Blogger - WOW

Most Likely To Put You In A Good Mood - This just made me smile, laugh & get verklempt - so go ahead, "talk amongst yourselves. Here, I’ll give you a topic:The Holy Roman Empire. It wasn't holy, it wasn't Roman, and it wasn't an empire. DISCUSS!"

Blogger With The Best Use Of Bad Language - Ok, seriously, what the f^ck?

But truthfully and sans the bad language: I wanted to say THANK-YOU from the bottom of my imperfect pancreas. No matter what the outcome, the fact that a fantastical group of people chose to put my name along side other fantastical people in our community just blows my mind and reminds me how grateful & happy I am to be part of the DOC!

SOS - Internet Is Down!!!!

The ramblings of an Internet deprived D-O-C member, who managed to scratch out a post via her iPhone and Shozu app. It ain't pretty!

#########

Stuck here at work,
And the blasted Internet is down.
I can't access my blogger account,
No matter how hard I try
And unable to upload today's prepared post,
This D chick's about to cry!

If it wasn't for my iPhone
I wouldn't have a clue,
But at least I can access my Facebook, Shozu blog app & email- so they will just have to do.

I'm cut off from "The Twitter,"
And my fabu DOC crew.
Yes, I'm a little bitter,
But hey, wouldn't you be 2?

The daily contact with the DOC,
Keeps each of us from being a lonely PWD.

Miss you so much & hope to reboot in few...
Because this Diazon can't wait to hear the latest dish from each & everyone of you!

ShoZu" border="0">

"Oh Stewardess, I Speak Diabetes" Or Why Face Book Needs To Speak Diabetes

I had another post all ready to go today, but then was inspired by a wonderful Face Book conversation and wrote and ran with this instead.

Thanks for the inspirations friends!

#######

"Oh stewardess, I speak diabetes!"

So as I mentioned on my Face Book status this morning that I’d tried to add Diabetes on my Face Book profile under the option: “Languages You Speak.” And FB would have none of that – and that just annoyed me to no end. Because seriously, anyone who has diabetes or whose family member has diabetes, knows for a fact that "Diabetes Speak" is a language unto itself!

The status generated a whole FB discussion and the comments were pretty darn hilarious - and almost all of them were written in, or referred to, the language of Diabetes.

Some, like Meri, called what I refer to as “Diabetes Speak” the Language of the Pancreas.

Others like Wendy Rose call it Diabetonese- and on a personal note, Wendi sometimes has trouble with the pronouns but can still speak Diabetonese like a pro!

Regardless if you whether you speak Diabetes Slang or Diabetes Speak proper, in order to achieve Blood Sugar Nirvana and have an acceptable #bgnow, every day, including #bgwed - not to mention an acceptable A1C that will make the harshest member of the Diabetes Police smile with joy and allow you to dine on a “totally bolus worthy” cupcake sans the guilt.

PWDs (people with diabetes) and their Type 3s have no choice but to understand the language of diabetes and all it’s many incarnations and subtle nuances.

We must not only be fluent in the Language of Diabetes, we must live the language of diabetes daily.

After fooling around with the language options on Face Book, I realized that they had so many freaking language options that it could make your head spin faster than Lynda Blair in The Exorcist.

But just to skim the tip of the FB language Iceberg, FB does recognize the following languages:

The Languages In Starwars: Yes, plural George Lucas based languages are recognized on The Face Book. And for some reason, I'm not surprised.

Texas German: A near extinct dialect that stemmed from german immigrants settling in Texas and combining German/American english with Texas colloquialisms.

Hinglish: A combined version of Hindu & English

Surrealism: To all of those who graduated college with a Literature degree, you were correct, Surrealism is indeed it’s own language!

PitKern: The Language created from the Descendents of Mutiny on the Bounty fame. It'ss a creole language based on an 18th century dialect of English and Tahitian. It is a primary language of Pitcairn

Pig Latin: “Esyay, Igpay Atinlay isway away ecognizedray anguagelay”

Dutch Sign Language: The Dutch version of Sign Language.

Playero: Please note, this is not the language of "Playas!" Playero is Guahiban language that is spoken by about 250 people in Colombia. Speakers are bilingual in Spanish - for the most part.

So for real Face Book, if Surrealism is recognized language, why isn’t Diabetes?

Diabetes can be totally surreal at times and we even have our own dialects. And I know for a fact that more people speak Diabetes than both Playero & Texas German- Not that I have anything against Playero or Texas German, bcause I don’t!

So, do you speak diabetes?

Go ahead, Flip Your Diabetes Bitch/Wit Switch!

Last night on "the twitter" I read a tweet from Lorraine from This Is Caleb that said, and I’m paraphrasing here because I can’t find the said tweet on her twitter feed :

@colcalli C’s CDE asked me if he’s had any highs since his last visit. W.T.?

So I tweeted back:

@diabetesalish @Colcalli Of course he's had highs, he’s a pwd! Ask her if she's had any bowel movements since C's last appt & tell us what she says.

@colcalli @diabetesalish lol!!!!!!! Love it! Love you! If only I could be that quick and witty.

Thanks Lorraine, but I’m not always that tricky/witty!

But, Lorraine's encounter got me thinking that all of us need to have some witty, diabetes Bitch Switch remarks to have on hand when we get hit with diabetes comments that bring us well past our "I'm going to educate this person" breaking point and makes us throw up our hands and say, w.t.f?

So, I came up with a few not so typical responses that you can use next time you've reached your breaking point regarding you or your child’s diabetes .

Comment: You have diabetes? Is it the... bad kind?

Your response: No, it’s the kind that allows you to fart glitter and shit gold ingots! What kind are you talking about?

Comment: You’re too young to have diabetes

Your reply: You’re too old to be that dim-witted.

Question: How come you didn’t grow out of your diabetes?
You respond: How come you didn’t grow out of your stupidity?

Comment: Man, I could never be forced to watch what I eat!

Your response: Yes, from the looks of things, that’s quite obvious.

Comment: Your mother must have fed you a lot of sugar as a child - that's why you have diabetes.

Your response: Your mother must have let you sniff a lot of glue as child, that's why you're an idiot~

Comment: Oh, and about your insulin pump – no worries, no one will even notice, it looks like beeper.

Your response: OK, refresh my memory, because I might have been having some blood sugar issues at the time, but seriously, I don’t remember hopping in a Time machine and magically transporting us back to 1992.

Question: You have diabetes?? COOL – Do you know Nick Jonas?

Your response: Yes, and we’re very good friends – we’re actually meeting at Starbucks in 10 minutes. Want to come with?

Comment: Diabetes – I couldn’t handle not eating sugar!

Your response: Me either – Wanna go snort some?

Question: Does your pump run on batteries.

Your Response: No it’s strictly solar powered.

Question: So, does your insulin pump automatically tests your blood sugars and & give you the right amount of insulin? That’s so cool!

Your response: Unfortunately, no. But it does have GPS & foursquare capabilities, a tracking device, receives texts and reads my biorhythms. So…You know, it’s got A LOT going for it~

If you have any diabetes Bitch Switch scenarios/comments, please feel free to share it!

I Am Poster Girl With No Poster - I Am 32 Flavors & Then Some~

Squint your eyes and look closer

I'm not between you and your ambition

I am a poster girl with no poster

I am thirty-two flavors and then some.

Ani DiFranco

I am a funny, smart, empathic woman with a large voice that I'm not afraid to use when it comes to my community. But I still have moments of being shy - and that comes as a surprise to many who know me.

I clean up more than nice and much like "Lucy in the sky with diamonds, I am the girl with kaleidoscope eyes." Seriously, my eyes are hazel so they change color depending on what I wear & my mood.
I laugh from my belly, deep and loud. And sometimes I laugh so hard my whole body shakes and I cease to make noise.
At times, I think with my heart and other times I think with my head.
But good or bad and regardless of which, I'm always thinking - Except of course when I'm not.

Animals like me, most kids adore me, the majority of teenagers I've come in contact with respect me, and senior citizens still call refer to me as "as a young lady." And I'm Ok with all that.

As far as reading maps - I'm almost completely incapable.
As far as North, South, East, or West, I'm totally incapable.
As far as writing, some say I'm OK, others think I'm more than OK, but everybody agrees that I need more work in all aspects of editing.

I've embraced sushi and have learned to bolus for it - because I am a Diabetes Savant~
I like my food spicy and savory and everything else in between!
I love Vanilla and chocolate ANYTHING as long as it's not those disgusting, cheap vanilla/chocolate candles/room fresheners.

Every aspect of the the ocean makes me happy.
And I will wear a red dress over a beige dress any day of the week.

At times I wear my heart on my sleeve and I always wear my pancreas clipped to my hip, except when it's hidden on my thigh - all sexy spy like.

I don't shy away from being a person with diabetes - I've embraced it - and for more than awhile, it's worked for me quite nicely.

But I'm always surprised when someone shies away from me because of diabetes.

The amount of times this has actually happened to me in the last 30+ years of living with diabetes adds up to less than the amount of fingers on 1 hand - in this case, let's say the left hand, because I'm left handed. For the record, I have 5 fingers on my left hand.

OK, it's happened twice in 30+ years - which is just so minuet in the grand scheme of Kelly.

Anyway, on those very rare occasions when the memory of someone deciding not to move forward and get to know me because of a busted pancreas pop into my head, a big part of me wants to shake those morons (whose names I can't even remember) to their very core and tell them: Good riddance and I feel sorry for you - because seriously, you don't know what you missed!

And the the other part of my brain is like: First of all, what the hell made you think of that train wreck? Which is immediately followed by:THANK YOU GOD FOR LETTING ME DODGE THAT BULLET!

And then I never think about them again - Except of course, when I do, And then I breathe a sigh of relief.