Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Diabetes Gods

I'm not religious, but I am highly spiritual & highly spirited - Just ask the people at Readers Digest & "The Bible Cure for Diabetes" shmuck who thought prayer was the way to cure diabetes!

I was raised Catholic by a Protestant mother and a Catholic father who later found out that there was more than a very good chance that he was part Jewish on his father's side.

I believe in praying and I believe in giving thanks.

Personally, I think the Dali Lama is a wise man, and I love that he wants people to focus on their similarities, not their differences. Regardless of whether or not their differences involve religion, politics, or the age old Mets vs Yankees fans conundrum!

I find religion in songs like "Bridge Over Troubled Water," "Let It Be," and "Private Universe."
And I find the congregation I feel most at home in is The Church Of Helping Others.

But every now in then I call on "The Diabetes Gods," especially when my numbers or wonky or I'm contemplating pasta. And just so we're clear, I'm not calling them to cure or fix my diabetes. I'm calling on them purely for entertainment~

These deities only exist in my imagination of course, but they help me smile just the same.
The make me laugh, which helps me to cope & get on with the business of getting on with my life.

Calling on the Diabetes Gods goes something like this:

Goddess of the Bolus & Basal Rates, PLEASE help me figure out this lasagna in all it's cheesy glory!

God of the everlasting Insulin Pump Battery - Please don't let my battery crap out before I get home!

Most times I'm more generic in which Diabetes God I'm referring to and say something along the lines of: Hey Diabetes Gods, PLEASE stop my numbers from going all batshit and help my correction bolus to get my blood sugars back in normal range!

OR: Hey Diabetes Gods, I'm making a ceremonial offering to you in the form of a Crumbs Bake Shop cupcake - Hope you'll be pleased with both the cupcake and my bolus to cover said cupcake! And Sidebar: This one is a personal favorite!

What can I say, I also find my religion in humor, and damn if calling on the Diabetes Gods every now and then doesn't make me LOL as I'm figuring out my diabetes math, bolus and or temporary basal rate!

And before people get all judgmental on me, I also pray to the God of found Parking Spaces, The Goddess of 5 lbs lost,The Rocket Surgeon God and the God Of The Tailor!


Mike Lawson said...

I was raised by very religious parents...and I'm now an Atheist. What is kind of funny is that I still pray occasionally.

Usually when I'm in a tight situation (like walking down a scary ally or speed past a police officer with his radar gun out) I just say a few words. It's something that's ingrained in me from all those years in Sunday School.

My point: I call on imaginary deities too and regardless of if there is some higher power listening or not, it helps soothe my mind.


Sarah said...

omg, love. this. so. much. giggling, just at the truth of your deities (I first misspelled that "dieties" that must be the 5-pounds-lost-one). A friend of mine has a buddha hanging from her rearview mirror; he's Frank the Parking Buddha and we pray to him every time we're searching in downtown Boston or San Francisco for a space. I'm right there w/you as far as DiabetesDeities--some days they're with us, and some days...well, we offend and they may take some bribes to come back. ;)

Scott K. Johnson said...