Having Diabetes makes me talk to myself. Seriously. I'm always talking to myself about diabetes, and I'm always answering myself too. Which either makes me certifiably nuts - or certifiably normal, depending on who you ask.
There are moments when I find myself saying: SMOOTH MOVE, DIABETES, or find myself uttering phrases to or about diabetes.
Phrases like, but not limited to the following:
Diabetes what's with the blood sugar? Maybe I hit a dead spot? God I hope it's not a dead spot, I need another dead spot like I need a hole in my head!
Where's my meter?? Oh, here it is, at the bottom of my handbag instead of in my diabetes bag that I keep in my handbag!
I should probably change my lancet right about now. Nah, next time.
Diabetes, what's with the bitch fit?
Really diabetes, you pick the middle of my friends wedding ceremony to decide it's time to change the pump battery? And could your freaking alarm be any louder? And how come I manage to sleep through your Battery Alarm in the middle of the night without hearing it, but every single person in the church is looking at us right now? Sidebar: This gem of a conversation occurred in my head, not out loud. My pump alarm was loud enough, thankyouverymuch!
Now you decide to throw down a low blood sugar, at 10:30 at night, just when I'm exhausted and all ready to go to bed? WTF diabetes??
Other times, like when I'm running late and finally hop in my car and start driving and suddenly wonder out loud: Shit, am I wearing my pump???
For the record, most times the answer is YES, accept of course when the answer is: HOLY SHIT, I FORGOT MY INSULIN PUMP!
There are other times when I have to stop and remind myself to thank diabetes out loud for playing nice, even during the times when my diabetes is on the behavioral cusp.
Like when I had a nasty stomach bug that was going around and my numbers stayed normal, or last Thanksgiving when I ate like a champion and my blood sugar didn't go above 190. Even after Pumpkin Pie after a serving of Potatoes Au-gratin.
Other times, I have to all medieval and remind the Diabetes who's in charge!
Yeah, I do talk to my diabetes out loud sometimes, SO WHAT.
I have a feeling I'm not the only one. SO, do you ever converse with your diabetes out loud? And if so, what do you say?