Paying It Forward - A PWD Needs Our Help!

I'm at work and will be leaving for the hospital to see my mom in a few - And I will absolutely tell her that you're all continuing to sending positive thoughts, vibes & prayers!

Now, I have a PWD who NEEDS our help! A friend from childhood reached out via facebook last night and told me about a friend who's having major diabetes issues regarding supplies. I'm all about "paying it forward" and I know you are too!

Here's the Direct Message I got.

Kelly - If anyone knows what to do, I know you will! My friend is a TYPE I Diabetic..out of work 9 mos. no insurance..needs insulin and supplies for her pump... Any programs so she can get her meds? Her doctor has helped her but she is now down to one vial. She called Medicaid and they hung up on her. Any info is appreciated!!!!!!

I told my friend to tell her to reach out to the drug/pump companies and to also reach out to: tudiabetes.org , DiabetesDaily.com, and Diabetic Rock Star. I also mentioned that she should reach out to both her local and state government representatives. I have the woman's email and have told her that I'm reaching out to you all.

Just waiting on her pump/teststrip/insulin (though any short acting insulin will do) info.

ANY advice that would point her in the right direction is greatly appreciated!

More info on all fronts to follow!!!

UPDATE: Still waiting on an address but for those of you emailing re: supplies/info, I will have one for you soon!

For those of you commenting - GREAT INFO and much needed for all of us!!!!

Leaving work now and heading towards hospital!

UPDATE: She uses a minimed Paradigm 522 -

After The Storm: Que Sera, Sera

After a hurricane it's amazing how calm, still and beautiful everything is, including the destruction.

The temps are warm, Billboards on the island bridge are ripped and crashed and left floating in the marshes, yet they look like a modern sculptures rising up like a Phoenix from the ashes.

The sun shines blindingly bright, and the colors are more intense now that the gray is gone. Even the downed trees have a certain beauty in their chaos.

The same can be said for what's going on with my mom.

When I finally made it through the traffic, off the expressway & back to the hospital around 12:30 yesterday afternoon yesterday, my mother's eyes were open and she was cognisant and attempting to talk back to me - except she couldn't because she still was connected to the vent.

The Doctors were shocked that she was no longer in septic shock.

And last night when I left, they'd given her pain meds and she was snoring through her breathing & feeding tubes.

If all goes well today, they will remove her breathing tube.

Yesterday afternoon I held her hand, sang Rhianna's "Umbrella" song very badly (because for some reason, my mom likes Rhianna,) and my voice - which only a mother could love.

But mostly I talked about how amazing she's doing, and I'd sing bits of her favorite song - The very same song she'd sing to me as little girl while she was brushing my hair:

When I was just a little girl,

I asked my mother, 'What will I be?

'Will I be pretty?

'Will I be rich?'

Here's what she said to me:

'Que sera, sera,

'Whatever will be, will be;

'The future's not ours to see.

'Que sera, sera,

'What will be, will be.

When I grew up and fell in love,

I asked my sweetheart, 'What lies ahead?

'Will we have rainbows

'day after day?'

Here's what my sweetheart said:

'Que sera, sera,

'Whatever will be, will be;

'The future's not ours to see.

'Que sera, sera,

'What will be, will be.'

Now I have children of my own,

They ask their mother, 'What will I be?

'Will I be handsome?

'Will I be rich?'

I tell them tenderly:

'Que sera, sera,

'Whatever will be, will be;

'The future's not ours to see.

'Que sera, sera,

'What will be, will be.'

(finale)QUE SERA SER

I'm on my way to the hospital now, and while I still believe she has more rounds to fight and that there is more work to be done - Your continued positive thoughts, vibes, and prayers are indeed working! My hope still floats, and the glass is remains half full.

If today is a better day than yesterday - Then it will be a wonderful day.

And I thank you all from the bottom of my imperfect pancreas for how you've ALL been there for us!

I don't know what we would do without you!

UPDATE: They have removed her vent. She's on a ang tube for meds and oxygen. Her vocal cords are very bruised and she has thrush. She's still on antibiotics & they put her on some morphine for pain this afternoon after they removed the vent and put the ang tube through her nose, so she's very groggy and very sleepy. . She's having a belly catscan today at 2:30.

Belly catscan was fine, blood gasses are normal, she told me to hurry up and get home because I had a long drive and physical therapy starts tomorrow.

Today was a good day!

After Irene

Still not home yet, neither is she - We are displaced persons battling all types of storms.

She's still stable, which is good - And slept through Irene.

Her nurse says she's comfortable and safe and I'm grateful.

Little victories here and there -

Patience is a virtue that plays with my nerves and keeps me on edge.

But patience is key and I will be patient for the both of us.

Lost power for 12 hours at my sister's last night.

5 of us, plus the dog played "Apples to Apples," by candlelight and red wine.

Electric came back this morning at 9 a.m., but I still feel in the dark.

There was flooding, both in the basement and emotionally speaking.

But blood sugars are behaving nicely - Which leaves me both surprised and grateful and wondering what's up.

I haven't heard her voice since Tuesday - And now I'm crying just thinking about that fact.

My hand is starting to shake a bit - But the glass will remain 1/2 full.

Update: My Mother The Fighter

Update from Monday: She's in ICU and in a medically induced coma and on a vent. She is stabilized, acidotic and fighting sepsis.

Just had a family meeting with all her Doctors and found out that her kidney blockage is most likely congenital. Ironically, her kidney numbers are great and the kidney tube placed in her back is draining her blocked kidney quite nicely. Her heart is working at the same as before she was admitted and we are grateful for that.

It's the sepsis fire in her blood that is the culprit and causing all the turmoil.

Each little victory is extremely important & celebrated like a ticker tape parade, and counter acts the dips into despair and the fear of the "what ifs," that seem to follow the good news we receive.

The Doctors say that each day she stays stable is a major step towards recovery, which will be at a snails pace. Unlike a tragedy, which could happen incredibly fast and with almost no warning at all.

So we wait in this limbo of sorts, holding our breathes and grateful for each hour that passes by.

Every time my cell phone rings my heart skips at least 10 beats, yet I carry it where ever I am, because I am the contact person regarding my mom's care - and those times when I am away from the ICU are torture because I hate leaving her.

So we wait and we pray, and we continue to stay positive.

My mom taught us that the glass is half full - and that is what keeps me going.

I honor her wishes and focus on the positive - Except for the times in the ICU waiting room when I cry about all she's going through.

My mother taught us to fight. And my mother is a fighting very hard, so please continue to cheer and pray, and send her positive thoughts and vibes.

She has more rounds to fight.... and to win - And sepsis is a tough opponent - But one she can beat.

And we take each round and check off each passing hour with a star.

And I continue to wait and pray and think - And I find myself bargaining with a higher power.

And I ask for strength for my mom... and for me.

And I stand over her in the ICU and hold her hand, brush the hair off her face, kiss her arm and tell her how much I love her. And I tell her how great she's doing and how proud I am of her.

And then I come back to the ICU waiting room and I cry.... and I think.... and I pray.

And I talk out loud and in my head to her..... And tell her I love her and how proud I am of her..... And I tell her to please keep fighting.

Quick Update

Kelly wanted me to THANK YOU for all of your thoughts, prayers, emails, text messages and tweets! Her Mom is still in the hospital. Please continue to keep Kelly's Mom and Kelly in your thoughts and prayers.

Cherise

Blog Hijacker

Update

Back from Canada late Saturday night, had a great time and will post about it very soon.

Unfortunately, the return home was not so great.

I admitted my mother into the ER last night after calling the ambulance and that's where I am right now.

My mom has a kidney infection & her kidney is severely enlarged w/a blockage and she needs to have it drained with a shunt/stint, ASAP.

Her kidney creatinine/clearance numbers are normal, blood pressure is good and she doesn't have a fever. They are pumping her full of antibiotics to fight the infection and the procedure will be done sometime today.

She's resting in the ER (she still doesn't have a bed) and I'm not doing so great.

I'm sitting here trying to respond to work emails and be productive & positive, but that's not easy.

I'll admit it, I'm scared to death and would appreciate any positive thoughts, prayers and vibes you could send my mom's way.

Thanks in advance,

Kelly

Guest Post: 6 Months Into Life With Diabetes - It's About Nicole!

Today's Guest host is Cheryl Kinnunen. I've never met Cheryl in real life, but she's my friend just the same.

We connected through her fantastical daughter Nicole. I met Nic 4 years ago when I was a speaker at DESA (Diabetes Exercise & Sports Association) nat'l meeting in Colorado Springs.

Nicole was there with her dad Vic, who's quite the the Athlete/dad/type 1. We hithit it off right of the bat - And spent a lot of time together that weekend - And we've kept in touch ever since!

Though I'll admit, I still haven't quite forgiven Nic for continually making fun of me for being afraid to jump off the high-dive. OK, I was running REALLY high blood sugars the whole time I was there ( I had no idea back than that high altitudes requires us to almost double our pump basal rates,) and just couldn't do it!

Nic still won't let me live it down!

Anyway, when Nic was diagnosed 6 months ago, Cheryl and I became friends and I'm so glad we are - She's an amazing D mom & friend!

Last month I asked Cheryl if she'd like to guest post. She marinated on it for a bit and then agreed.

I think you'll be pleased with the results. Take it away Cheryl !

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Nic & Cheryl

First, let me say that I am beyond excited to be asked to post here on Kelly’s blog…after all, she is the Queen of Awesomeness!

When Kelly asked me about posting, I started thinking about our journey over the last 6 months since my daughter Nicole’s T1 diagnosis and how it has affected us. This is a diabetes blog after all, right?? But then Nicole stopped me in my tracks… By writing a paper for school about herself and science (diabetes, insulin, pumps—seems like a no-brainer huh?) she asked me, “Why does it always have to be about diabetes?” And you know what? She’s right!

So while this may be a little about diabetes…it’s really about my daughter.

Nicole will be 12 in a couple weeks. She is smart and beautiful—on the inside and out. She is a voracious reader…all she wanted for her birthday was a blue Animas Ping insulin pump and her own Kindle…she is getting both.

She is funny, sarcastic, and sometimes argumentative. She writes her own songs. She plays lacrosse. She is in Junior High and her room is a disaster. She always wants to wear more makeup than I will let her and she loves to use lots of emoticons when texting.

When she grows up, she wants to work for the FBI and profile serial killers with the BAU.

She is a good friend. She still teases Kelly about not jumping off the high dive four years ago.

Back then, Nicole was 7 and jumped of the high dive herself - NUMEROUS TIMES.

Oh, and, by the way, she has Type 1 diabetes. . She is an expert carb counter and has done all of her own pricks and injections since day 1. She saw the look on my face…that day in the doctor’s office…and asked me what the BG was. “504” She cried quietly… for a minute or two, while I held her in my arms…and she has never looked back.

I love her with every fiber of my being. She is my daughter and my hero and a person with diabetes. And I am so proud to be her mom!

Life Insurance For Diabetes & Other Pre-Existing Conditions

Today's Guest Host has interesting back-story, and here it is.

Last year my BIL (Brother-in-law,) Clark told me about one of his friends/clients, Gordon Conwell.

Back Story: Clark is an uber IT guy, incredibly funny and a really great judge of character. And he's my favorite brother - But that's for another post entirely.

Anyway,Clark told me that Gordon was an independent agent/broker who specializes in impaired risk life insurance. And I was like: WHAAT - English, please!

Turns out, Gordon knows a thing or two about providing reasonable life insurance for those of us with pre-existing conditions, which I'll also refer to as PECs.

One thing led to another; including a mutual email intro via Clark, a flurry of emails between Gordon & I, a few phone calls as well. And I came to the conclusion that Gordon was a good man who provided a great service to those of us with PECs.

Look, nobody likes to think of life insurance, and lord knows I bitch about the high cost of health insurance for pre-existing conditions A LOT.

But here's the thing: Whether you have a pre existing condition and have a family, or a mess of nieces and nephews like me, we shouldn't be priced out of Life/Health Insurance!

So, I asked Gordon to write a guest post on the subject of life insurance for those of us with diabetes - And he agreed.

FYI: While Gordon isn't a PWD, he does have a pre-existing condition, so he "gets" it!

Thanks, & take it away Gordon!

#########

Even though I'm in the life insurance industry, I've never been a big fan of life insurance companies and their underwriting practices. As someone who was born with a bicuspid aortic valve and had valve replacement at age 40, I pay more for life insurance than I think I should.

I've learned to play the underwriting game for myself and others by shopping thousands of cases and developing relationships with underwriters at the more aggressive companies for people with certain health issues.

One of those health issues is diabetes. The underwriting concerns that insurance companies have about diabetics may be legitimate, but there are a small bunch of life insurance companies making significantly better offers than others for type 1 and type 2 diabetics right now.

Since there's never any guarantee on the exact rate that anyone will qualify for, I'd recommend that all diabetics apply to the 2 most probable best insurance companies for them.

Since any quotes that you're given before you actually apply are only estimates at best, by applying to more than one company you increase your chances of getting a better rate. Plus, competition can make for better offers if your agent lets the underwriter know there's a better offer on the table.

This 2 application strategy has worked really well over the past 20 years. To this day, I'm still sometimes surprised at the difference in rates that 2 different companies will offer to the same person for same plan and amount of life insurance.

There are definitely life insurance companies that are more "diabetic friendly" and the insurance companies that are best for any one diabetic will vary depending on the individuals diabetes and other health history.

Diabetics that are currently getting the best offers are those with A1C of about 7.0 or less, decent history of control with no history of nerve damage, eye problems, kidney problems and overall good health otherwise.

There are other insurance companies that will offer immediate and full coverage to diabetics as long as their A1C is less than 10.0 and/or if they do have neuropathy, retinopathy, other diabetic complications or other health issues.

Then there are also "high risk" life insurance companies that will cover almost all diabetics, even if they have poor diabetic control, more severe diabetic complications and other health issues. These companies offer expensive rates and would not pay out the full insurance amount if death occurs in first 2 or sometimes3 policy years, unless death is caused by accidental means. These companies should only be used as an absolute last resort.

The good news is that almost every diabetic is insurable for life insurance.

If you are going to shop for life insurance as a diabetic, make sure the agent you're dealing with has experience with diabetes cases. Also make sure the agent you deal with can offer you rates from many different insurance companies and that they can easily shop your case to other insurance companies later, if the initial offers you get are higher than expected.

Since I've never met a salesman that indicated he was not good at getting whatever I wanted to buy, use your best judgment in choosing the agent you decide to use and don't get pressured into applying if you're not comfortable with the agent or with the information/rates they provide.

Bottom line is that some life insurance companies have been making significantly better offers to diabetics and due to the advances in treatment for diabetes, this will continue.

This is good news for diabetics that need life insurance or that already have it, but may be paying too much.

Gordon Conwell is an independent agent/broker specializing in impaired risk life insurance. His website is www.americanterm.com and he can be reached at 1-800-380-3533 or gconwell(at)americanterm.com.

Guest Post: The Land Of Chronic

Photo of Penny & Grace - Snagged from their Blogger Profile

Penny from A Sweet Grace, is "Guest Hosting"today while I'm in the second day of my Canadian Adventure.

Penny and her amazing type 1 daughter Grace are truly fantastical in so many ways!!!

I admire the way Penny parent's Grace, and I love the way she allows Grace to be an active participant in her diabetes. Plus, Penny is a hoot! She makes me laugh and she's a great friend!

Grace is also playing "Guest Host," and she's a real firecracker! Seriously, that girl is funny, bright, articulate, a pistol, and girlfriend is a Diva Fashionista!

I look at Grace, and I see my 9 year CWD self - Sans the fashion sense and the beautiful blue eyes.

And I learn so much from Grace. Like that sequins are not just for evening wear, celery is the 'surprise' in "Tuna Surprise," and I learn to continue to see the world through the eyes of a wise beyond her years & almost tween. Except that I don't have nearly as much confidence as Grace - Or Bieber Fever!

I love Penny and Grace very much - And had it not been for this thing called diabetes, we would have never crossed paths. And like each of you in the DOC, Penny & Grace are what (who?) makes my "diabetes glass," half full.

Take it away ladies!!!!!

The Land of Chronic

By Penny Starr-Ashton

There are days that I still cannot believe it. That Grace has Type 1 Diabetes and it’s for LIFE. I mean, I know it, deep in my soul, that she does and she will. (Insert swelling theme music here and the standard CURE mantra - how many years until the cure, 5-10-20-30 years???) But it’s still hard to believe, if you know what I mean. The un-endingness of it all, the 24/7 of it all, the, well, the chronic-ness of it all.

May I have the definition of chronic please?

chronic : always present or encountered; especially : constantly vexing, weakening, or troubling <chronic petty warfare>

Well, thank you Merriam-Webster, cause that’s a little enlightening don’t you think?

Always present. Yep, that one was right on the money. It’s always there, the need to address the diabetes. Every. Darn. Day. It always shows up, is never absent and it’s never late. It would have been a good school student, getting that A+ for perfect attendance all these years. It’s just always, so, here.

Always encountered. Looking for a chance meet-up? Count on diabetes. It’s everywhere. It’s in the walking, the eating, the laying down, the running, the sleeping, the showering, the gardening, the snacking, the playing and I could go on, but the darn things shows up everywhere. It’s like the party guest you cannot get rid of no matter how you try. I look around corners and there it is. I open the bread drawer and there it is. Damn thing needs a home, and not mine.

Constantly vexing. Did you totally just nod your head and say ‘Absolutely!’ cause tell me that you ate the same thing two days in a row and bolused the same and got different numbers, right?! Right. Vexing is too pretty of a word, it conjures up spells and witchery and a little sexy number too. Diabetes, I have never once thought of you as sexy, I am afraid to say. You do vex me in the way you operate though, slyly upping the numbers one day, slyly sending the numbers down the next. You do constantly try to trick me and you throw me a total conundrum wrapped in a puzzle wrapped in a sphinx wrapped in a soft pretzel with cheese sort of trick. It can only be unlocked through an extended bolus with a temp basal with a step to the right, a 360 turn and three jumps while scratching your head. Yeah, you vex alright.

Weakening. Oh diabetes, sometimes you weaken my spirit. The chronic-ness of it all weighs on me at times and I try not to let my 9 year old gal see it. But you sometimes weaken my heart and my brain. My strength breaks down and in slips nasty thoughts of night-time lows, not waking up, ketones and DKA. But I have some words for you diabetes: I am stronger. Grace is stronger.

Troubling. In more ways than one, huh?! Trying to SWAG a bolus for a homemade cupcake brought in for a school treat that has ‘a lot of icing Mommy’ over the phone, when it’s time to eat lunch in school and she’s already late as it is. That’s troubling. Basals that reduce me to tears on some days, trying to figure the damn things out. Worrying about complications, that’s the biggest worry of all. Troubled that my gal will live a shorter life because of diabetes and praying that God takes me first. Troubled about the ‘what if she has a low and no one is around to help her,’ that’s always a doozy too.

Whew. That’s the chronic-ness of the diabetes in our lives. It hits me some days, just like this. It’s like a wave that washes over me, then it’s done. The waves are less than they were at the beginning of Grace’s diagnosis and I suspect in the next 5-10-20 years they will subside to tinier waves, as we all grow and change and well, accept more.

Thankfully, and mercifully, most of our days are spent not in the chronic part of our lives. They are spent in the moment, the non-troubling, non-vexing, non-weakening moment. I don’t pretend to live there all the time though. The land of chronic calls me to visit every now and then.

Diabetes Stinks

by Grace Ashton

I love the summer, but I hate diabetes.

It’s fun to go swimming, but not fun to prick.

I love hanging out with my friends, but I hate coming home to test.

I love everything about summer, but I hate everything about diabetes.

Guest Post: Off The Beaten Path With Diabetes

Today kicks of a week of Guest Hosts on Diabetesaliciousness because I'm off to Toronto, Canada where I hope to have a few adventures of my own in one of North America's most beautiful cities!
Speaking of adventures, today's Guest Host is Sam Gellman - And he's quite the Explorer/Adventurer, Photographer & PWD.
Sam is traveling the globe, capturing amazing photos and stories and proving that life is what you make of it - And that life with diabetes can be part of a much grander adventure!


I've never met Sam, but I'm certainly inspired by his photos, stories, & his ability to take his diabetes and explore all the world has to offer! And I absolutely know that you'll be inspired too!
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Photo by Sam Gellman

Off the beaten path with Diabetes

When I was diagnosed with diabetes, my life as an explorer was only beginning. I was 17 years old and living in the Netherlands as a foreign exchange student. Living in a foreign country, speaking a different language, and being away from what I was most familiar with made the initial adjustment to Diabetes more difficult, but it did help establish the disease as entirely my own, and I’ve known from the outset that it wasn’t going to get in my way of that much. I didn't see my parents until six months after I was diagnosed.

Fast forward 12 years later, and I’m living in Hong Kong, working in finance and maintaining a small photography business on the side.
When I arrived in Hong Kong five years ago, I didn't realize how much my passion for photography would create a constant ‘need’ to be finding newer and more ‘off the beaten path’ destinations for travel. While in Asia, I have swung through zip lines in the jungles of Laos, flown balloons over Bagan In Burma, and hiked to abandoned monasteries in Bhutan.

Balloons over Bagan

Photo by Sam Gellman

Lucky Monkey?

Photo By Sam Gellman

These trips, however, also make controlling diabetes even more important.
One story from Burma stands out. A foreigner I met had been bitten by a monkey while climbing a mountain a day early.
As the monkeys can carry disease, he went to a doctor for advice. The doctor told him not to worry as he was bitten on the first day of the month, which is traditionally a very lucky day. He ended up ok, but his view of Burmese medicine was tarnished.
This story reminded me that while the third world can be fun and interesting, the emergency medical system for diabetics would seriously lack and all treatment needs to be entirely self-managed and controlled.


With this in mind, I generally have a few rules when I am truly out on the road:


(1) Always have a fully stocked back-up kit, preferably in the hands of someone else.
I lose everything, including diabetes kits. I'm normally exceedingly careful while traveling, but insulin vials can still fall and break and testing kits can be left behind. I don’t think I’ve ever needed a back-up kit, but it helps me sleep at night knowing it’s there.
(2) Don’t get low.
Of course I can’t help but get low reactions at times, as every diabetic can attest to, but I really try to avoid hypoglycemic reactions above all other things. In places like Burma, Laos, or Bhutan, where I always need to be in control, this is my top priority.
I sometimes spend days with higher blood sugar to avoid the risk of being low at the wrong time. Dexcom is incredibly helpful for this.
(3) Always have sugar and insulin on your body.
I try to have two packs of Mentos (they have them throughout Asia), in case I get low and need sugar.
I was once stuck on a zip line in the jungle of Laos, 300 feet above ground, for 45 minutes.


Knowing I had sugar and insulin in case anything happened, made the whole situation a bit more relaxing, at least relatively speaking. I pack tons of rolls of candy and multiple extra viles of insulin, and pack them in as many bags as I can.

Sam Gellman: Explorer/Adventurer, Photographer And Type 1 PWD

I still remember when I was first diagnosed, the initial fear that ran through my head was that I might not be able to travel as freely.
While diabetes certainly gives me a bit more to think about when I travel, I can say that my condition hasn’t prevented me from doing anything that I’ve had my mind set on.
I haven’t figured it all out yet (yep, I still get low sometimes, despite my “rule”… and of course get high when avoiding it), but I am always up to discuss diabetes, travel, photography, or any combination.
I post photography and occasional thoughts on Twitter @SamGellman and have much of my photography at www.itsagoodtimetoexplore.com and can be reached at: sam.gellman@gmail.com.

Blue Candles And Standing The Storm.

Blue candles are lighting up facebook, two more young adults taken too soon, and another is in the hospital with DKA - And everyone I know in the Diabetes On-line community is feeling the affects of losing family members we've never met.
And it sucks.
Losing loved ones we know or don't know, to a disease that we share is incredibly scary.
It makes you wonder about your future, your past, and your life in real time. It makes you second guess how your handling your life, and your life with diabetes.

It can stop you in your tracks and makes you feel that you can't move past the grief. It makes you angry and mad and you wonder how you're going to get through it.
What I've learned from losing those I've love to diabetes is this: YOU HAVE TO KEEP GOING, EVEN WHEN YOU THINK YOU CAN'T.
You have to keep living and working and trying and doing - Because now your not just living, working, trying & doing for you - You're doing it for those who no longer can.

And by doing so, you are honoring their memory each and every day.

And you fight for a cure even harder because your diabetes fight has now become even more personal and has reached an entirely different level.
Crying is OK and encouraged, being sad is expected, and depression and diabetes go hand in hand.
So reach out to your family and friends - Reach out to a professional, but reach out to somebody - And tell them how you're feeling. And if you see a family or friend in need of help reach out to them - We are in this together.
In the DOC we cry together, laugh together, and are there for one another regardless of geography or demographics.

When one of us needs to be carried, we lift them up and hoist them on our shoulders.
And in times of flicking bluecandles, many need to be carried, and we lean on one another - So that we can stand the storm together.

Nerves Happen - And A Positive Doctor's Attitude/Visit REALLY Helps With The Fear Butterflies!

And so the story continues.......

Yesterday was my appointment with my Retina Specialist. And like every appointment re: 1 in A Million, I was nervous.

But this was the second time I was seeing Dr. S, and I knew that was not only a gifted specialist, he was a gifted communicator and incredibly kind, unlike his predecessor Dr. Shit For Brains, who was neither. Dr. Shit For Brains had been my beloved late Dr. Mac's predecessor, and while he may know all the Retina facts, his bedside manner sucked!

I was nervous from the get go, and had the elevated 214 bgnow to prove it, but his staff didn’t judge.

I told them that previous morning blood sugar was 111 and the nurse said: Hey, you were 90 the last morning visit you had - You don't worry about your 214.

Me: Thanks - You guys freak me out - I was so nervous last night and this morning!

Nurse: That'll do it!!!

She asked all the typical questions, and I gave the typical answers - And waited for my eyes to become dilated a’la an anime character.

Apparently my pressure was very good and there was no swelling to speak of - So I had that going for me.

The good Dr. came in, shook my hand and asked how my summer was going.

Me: Good....so far.

Dr.S: Doing anything fun?

Me: Working, traveling here and there - and of course the beach.

Dr. S: OF COURSE. Any changes that you notice since your last visit?

Me: Nope, everything’s the same.

Dr. S: That’s good!

Me: I hope so. Actually, I hope it's lower!

Dr. S: Your last a1c was 7 - You still there?

Me: I think & I hope so, but my Endo appointment isn’t until September - I had to cancel my June appointment because I was in California.

Dr. S: Don’t worry about.

Me: Ok.

Dr. S: So I’m going to examine your retina’s just like before.

Me: OK.

And he did. He put that crazy eye contraption up against my eyes, and began flashing a series of lights, white, red and blue that damn near blinded me.

He calmly rattled off Doctor speak to his assistant who wrote it all down.

I I could feel my eyes starting to tear from the all the lights - and possibly the stress.

He Did a physical exam of my eyes with the lights and his hands. Looking under the lids and having me follow his finger left and right, up and down.

Then he grabbed a tissue and wiped my tear away and said: EVERY THING LOOKS GREAT!

Me: REALLY?

Dr. S: No changes since last time -You still have a two tiny micro pinhole bleeds - Which is normal for 33 years of diabetes - But they are really small. Your pressure is great and I see no optic nerve swelling. Honestly, those tiny bleeds could stay that way for years and years before we’d have to do anything. And you’d need at least 6 before we could even consider working on them. Seriously, your eyes look great!!

33 years with diabetes and all I can say is, keep up the great work and I don’t need to see you for 6 months.

Me: OK, I will. But...I’d feel safer if you saw me in 4 months instead of 6.

Dr.S: OK, I understand - But Kelly, diabetically speaking, you're in good shape.

Me: OK, I’m happy about that..... But I still freak out every single time I walk through your office door.

Dr. S: Of course you do - You had 1 in a million vision issue that was a fluke that had nothing to do with your diabetes!

Me: Part of me still gets so nervous.

Dr. S: Of course you do - The clot cut off your eye's oxygen supply and the fact that all your test came back normal was great - but unfortunately, your vision was affected.

Me: I know - So I guess you can't put some robotic camera in my brain and make my eye see better?

Dr. S: Actually, we are working on some robotic type brain cameras connecting to the optic nerve, but right now it's only for patients with a certain type of eye disease.

Me: Well, I'm lucky to see what I can see out of the eye and that it looks and moves perfectly normal, which is a lot more then some people have - And I'm so grateful for that! And don't worry, I'm not going to hold my breathe on ocular robotics - But I'm glad you guys are working on it!

Dr. S: Tell me again what exactly happened - I want to make sure that I know everything.

And we went over the “one in a million” from the beginning, including all the crazy tests that ruled everything, including diabetes out. No brain or heart problems to speak of!

I looked him straight in the eye and told him about what had happened, as if I’d been a spectator instead of the actual participant.

Dr. S: And they did the corroded arteries scans?

Me: Yes, and the tech told me, and I quote: You have one of the best sets of corroded arteries I’ve seen!

And then my Doctor laughed out loud and his ears turned red!

Dr. S: You are a lucky woman and you are a healthy woman.

And that really made me smile.

We said goodbye and I went to the front desk; scheduled my appointment for December and I walked to my car.

The butterflies in my stomach had stopped flapping their wings when Doctor S and I were mid conversation - And I hadn't even noticed until now.

I wasn't upset or scared. I was calm - Like the ocean a day after a hurricane hits. Quiet, calm, and surprisingly relaxed.

I was a healthy woman - And a very grateful one indeed!