Free Write: Diabetes In The Storm

I took a break from the work I was doing because of all the thoughts swirling in my head. So I set the timer on my phone for 8 minutes and did a free write. 

Here's what I came up with. 

#####

Four days of great blood sugars and lower insulin totals, immediately followed by a few days of higher numbers in both categories.

Four days where my blood sugars behaved, followed by waiting out a 328 and changing out a newish infusion site before bed last night.  

Drinking 16 ounces of water, peeing like Secretariat, and waiting until my blood sugar started going before I could shut my eyes and fall asleep.  

The alarm went off this morning and like the mythical Phoenix, I rose from the ashes, aka,  the warmth of my bed, downed the first of 2 cups of coffee (instead of my usual 1.5,) and went on with the business of living,working, and doing.  

Here, in the middle of a Nor’easter, I sit in my office and at my computer, rain boots by the door and lights flickering on and off - like a movie. 

The wind howls, windows shaking, and I'm doing my best to to get through my list of work  that needs to be done - and thankful that I forced myself to go to the store before dinner last night, when I realized I was precariously close to running out of juice. 

Diabetes means never running of  juice... or insulin.... or meds; pump supplies, test strips and the likes there off -but always worrying about all of the above. 

Diabetes In storm or clear skies, means thinking ahead, as well as in the moment. 

Diabetes forces us to bring backup with us, no matter where we go... or how far we have to march.

Diabetes means doing; fighting, and moving forward while simultaneously having moments were we are forced to sit and wait for diabetes to catch up. 

Diabetes means battles within and fighting exterior forces at every turn. 

Diabetes is close to the cuff and our hearts, even when we aren’t thinking about it. 

Diabetes is me, you, and everyone who we love - living with diabetes means fighting for our rights, our physical and mental health - our lives. 

Diabetes makes us fight not to be labeled by a disease we didn't choose. 

Diabetes makes us fight for ourselves and others - a silver lining of strength and solidarity in the storm, a silver lining that makes people with diabetes forces to be reckoned with, and no matter the sky.  

Today's Post, Inspired By The Hashtags: #Diabetes, #DOC & #WalkwithD

Today's diabetes free write, ( Free write: set the timer for 20 minutes and write about 1. a set subject(s) or 2. whatever pops in your head without stopping & then elaborate) was originally inspired by the following hashtags:  #Diabetes & the #DOC. Then I read Kerri's post asking us to join her on her #walkwithD journey and campaign.
 I'm in and I love it! 
It's totally and completely relatable to anyone living with diabetes and if you haven't already, (which I'm sure you have,) READ IT NOW.  I added the #walkwithD  hashtag to my free write because it inspired me! 
####o
Diabetes doesn’t make me a victim, on the contrary, diabetes has made me a survivor and part of a global D Clan of others who speak the language of diabetes fluently and in all dialects. 
For the record: Sometimes my diabetes speaks in intangible tongues - just because it can.
 Diabetes doesn’t stop me in my tracks, but there are moments on my #WalkwithD when diabetes forces me to stop, assess and take a few beats and or glucose tabs... before I continue in full speed ahead, mode. 
Sidebar: Sometimes it takes a while to get back in 'full speed ahead,' mode.
And it is in those exasperating moments when I lose my footing, that the DOC helps me forge ahead. 
Diabetes has cultivated patience with myself... and with others - And that’s a really good thing... except when I'm running low in the patience department, which usually happens right around the time I'm running extended high/lows in the blood sugar department.

Living with diabetes is not a character flaw, regardless of what the media says.  

Diabetes requires that I speak up for myself and others - And diabetes also requires that I  listen and learn from others.

Because I have diabetes, I found the Diabetes Online Community - And the DOC showed me that I am NEVER alone in my life and my life with diabetes. 

Diabetes doesn’t keep me in chains. The only chains I wear are the ones that I impose on myself. #fact 

There are moments when diabetes pisses me off - And I have to forcibly remind myself that anger is indeed a great motivator - And it is in those moments where my community totally "gets me." 

Diabetes NEVER takes a day off, even when I do.


Diabetes is indeed a life sentence... LIFE being the operative word.
Most of the time my glass is more than half full because I have access to insulin in a world where so many do not. 

Like everyone in the DOC, I #walkwithD, ALWAYS. 

And we are in this together!