During The Holidays People With Diabetes Will Be Judged - Lets Not Judge One Another~

You know that "thing" that happens with your Facebook feed where it changes in the instant and you read a post for only a split of a second, but REALLY wanted to read/comment on? 
Yeah, that thing happened to me a couple of days ago. 
I'd just clicked on my Facebook tab and noticed a status ( and for the life of me I don't who posted or if it was in a group,) blaming other PWDs for not taking care themselves and developing ketoacidoses, and referring to those who develop Ketoacidosis as being irresponsible.   
I didn't agree. 
Just as I was about to click on the link and share my thoughts on the subject, FaceBook changed my feed to a all new statuses and no matter how far I scrolled down, I couldn't find the status that made my heart hurt and blood simmer. 

I've been marinating on that status a lot and here's how I would have responded to the status if I hadn't lost the chance. 
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First: let's stop blaming one another for not being perfect re: their diabetes management, developing ketoacidoses or complications. Your diabetes may vary and everyone can have a challenging diabetes moment/day/month/year.   

Second: Ketoacidoses can happen happen quickly and unexpectedly and even when you're doing everything right. You could develop ketoacidoses because you're sick/getting sick; you could have miscalculated bolusing for a meal, your infusion site might have stopped working, your insulin could have gone bad or you might have been disconnected from your pump for to long, or 100 other scenarios that have nothing to do with being irresponsible. 
And just maybe irresponsibility did come into play - but who are you to assume and judge what's going on in someone else's head. 
Lets stop pointing fingers and blaming one anther for being anything less than perfect when it comes to diabetes. 
On a personal note: I was hospitalized twice in college with ketoacidoses because of the flu and both experiences were HORRIBLE. 
3 weeks ago I had unexpected pale pink ketones and was only in the low 200s. 
I had no idea as to why or how I'd come to the point of ketones, but there I was, dealing with ketones. 
I felt terrible, and not because of the ketones spilling into my system - I felt terrible because I WAS spilling ketones. I FELT LIKE A FAILURE. 

Shit happens in life, and life with diabetes. 
Diabetes is hard and we are continually being judged by people and the media who don't understand what it's like to live with diabetes, we don't need it from people who do.
Shaming patients with diabetes doesn't work when a healthcare professional is the one doing it and it won't work when we do it to another in our tribe. 
One of the insidious things about diabetes is that it can turn on a dime and just when we think everything is smooth sailing. 
So if you see someone struggling or in need of help, help them navigate the diabetes waters so they can find and be open to receiving that help.
In this season of giving and 'good will towards man', don't forget to include your fellow PWDs, because there but for the grace of diabetes go I, everyone makes mistakes, every one needs help and we are in this together. 

Extend a helping hand and offer up kind words of encouragement when it comes to dealing with diabetes and those struggling with their diabetes. 
After 37 years of living with diabetes, I've learned from experience that at one time or another, there will indeed be a time when you will be the in need of massive doses of both. 

Because Sometimes Ketones Are Sneaky Little Suckers! Also: Replace the S in 'Suckers' with An F.

3 days of really great blood sugars sugars (except for an 80 blood sugar before bed on Wednesday night,) immediately followed by 24 hours of crap blood sugars, (because, of course) three infusion site changes and moderate ketones that snuck up on me so stealth like, I didn’t even feel their presence until I tested for them. 

If I hadn’t tested for ketones last night after my numbers started climbing yesterday at 7pm, when I checked my dinner blood sugar and it was 242 and up from 176 two hours earlier. 
I changed my site and had a tomato and mozzarella salad with some italian bread croutons for dinner because I didn’t want to eat anything heavy until me blood sugars evened out.  
The numbers that followed were 239 at 8:45 and and 250 at 10 pm, which is when I changed out my site AGAIN. 
So it turns out my 3 hour infusion site was not only clogged, it was a bleeder to boot! 
And on a whim I decided to check for ketones - And it was a damn good thing I did because I was spilling moderate ketones even though I felt just fine. 
I can't tell you how many times in the past I've checked for ketones when my numbers were well into the 300s and sans ketones. 

Diabetes is such a tricky bitch sometimes! 

This morning I didn’t skip a beat even though I woke up with a 220 and was still running moderate ketones. Breakfast was coffee with cream and sugar and copious amounts of water. 
I’m doing the work thing, I feel great and my ketones are running somewhere between small & trace amounts. 

As much as all of the above being a metaphoric pain in the ass,(and it was) it was also a really great reminder to me that ketones happen, even when your not feeling the symptoms - And I’m grateful that I had the means to test for and keep an eye on them. 

So have you ever checked for ketones and been surprised by the results? 

The Battle of High Blood Sugars & Ketones...

I've used the word "ketones" entirely too much in this post - And I hope I NEVER have to do that again - Or deal with them again. 
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I woke up incredibly tired Sunday morning and realized midway through that I was running in the 150's  #bgnow range for most of the day. 
I'd been out to dinner the night before and it was a carb filled feast and I figured the elevated blood sugars were the remnants of said feast. 

 I drank coffee, did some work (OK, attempted to do some work), did some laundry, took a walk and finally headed to the beach in the late afternoon where I spent over an hour (OK, an hour and 20 minutes,) swimming and body surfing in the Atlantic ocean  - where I left my worries in the sea. 

I'd begun my untethered swim/body surfing break  with a bg now of 170 and emerged from the ocean with a a bgnow of 140. 

I came home, decided tested again and  was 160. Still running high & still not sure why. 

I changed my site did a correction/meal bolus and an hour later started to make dinner - Not my norm, but my #bgnow was 140 so I wasn't worried. 

I  was tired from swimming and hungry, so I made a tuna salad with a handful of low carb crushed gluten free tortilla chips sprinkled on top and loaded with veggies, followed by a Popsicle and didn't think twice about it.

I'd made that very same meal a hundred times before - it was low carb and easy to bolus for. 

 After dinner I started to drag and around 10 pm, and just as I was ready to hit the sack, I discovered that not only was my blood sugar high - like 407 high, but so were my ketones. And I realized my over tired feeling had nothing to do with body surfing.  
my head was pounding, I was incredibly thirsty, and I literally felt like I was walking through J-E-L-L-O,

and every action felt like a monumental task and all I wanted was to go to sleep. 

But when I saw the 407 flash up on my meter, I knew that sleep wasn't a possibility. I went to the bathroom and emptied my filled to the brim bladder and found out that my ketones were hovering precariously between the Medium/ High ketone hues of deep mauve and purple. 

I can't tell you the last time I had moderate to large ketones and I was more than slightly freaked. I was down right worried. 

And at that moment I would have given anything to have someone next to me - telling me it would be all be OK - But I was on my own & I needed to keep it together if I wanted to do battle in the war that was going on inside me.

 I kept surprisingly calm and did a massive correction bolus of 6.2 units & downed 3/4's of a 16 ounce bottle of water and said a prayer to the Diabetes Gods re: my blood sugar, test strip accuracy & stripping safely, & keeping ketoacidosis at bay. 

I was downright methodical in my obsessive checking and tried my best to detach from the emotions and the diabetes "what-ifs" and do what needed to be done. 

20 minutes later my bgnow was 383 and my ketones were decidedly on the moderate mauve side of the ketone spectrum. I drank more water and practiced my yoga breathing. 

20 minutes after that my blood sugar was 355 and ketones were still in the moderate range. 

An hour later my blood sugar was 328,  ketones still moderate, and I made the executive decision to change my infusion site, directly followed by a 2.9 correction bolus. I finished my bottle of water and started a new one & set my alarm to wake me up at 1:45. for 1:30 a.m.

But I couldn't sleep, not one bit. I tried to stay calm and thought about the waves I'd caught earlier in the afternoon. I thought how the ocean temp had been perfect and how great it felt to ride a wave from chest deep water to calf deep water without breaking the wave's crest and how I was kind of doing the same again - except the waves were blood sugars and ketones instead of the salt water waves of the Atlantic - And how I had to ride out the high ketones and blood sugars in order to make it so shore in one piece. 

I finally got up at 1:45 a.m. and tested again. I was 279 & much like Elivis, "my ketones had decided to leave the building." They were suddenly non existent, disappearing as quickly as they'd appeared, like footprints in the sand as the tide rolled in. 

I drank more water and waited another 20 minutes - I tested for ketones again and there were none, so I went to bed. 

My alarm went off at what seemed like an ungodly hour this morning and I woke up to overly filled bladder, a 153 blood sugar and zero ketones. 

I hit the snooze button, emptied my bladder, turned on the coffee maker bolused for said coffee and went back to bed for a half hour. 

30 minutes later and with a #bgnow of 81, I dragged myself out of a bed and poured myself a steaming cup of coffee.

It's Monday and my work plate is more than full. I am battle weary and tired, and for the first time in years I'm glad that I wear glasses, because they cover the huge bags under my eyes. But no sleep and baggy eyes aside, I won the war against the raging blood sugars and ketones - And to the victor goes the spoils and yada, yada, yada. 

Still, winner or not, I feel like diabetes kicked my ass to the curb and then jumped the curb and ran over me with a bus & did a victory lap up and down my body. 

But it my head I know diabetes didn't crush me. And no matter what today brings, I know that diabetes didn't win - It happened, it's over and I now require major amounts of caffeine.