Diabetes Brain - 2016 Fall Edition~

Diabetes always has a way of creeping into other areas of my life like a weird word association game. Sometimes funny, sometimes not at all. Sometimes it makes no sense, other times, Diabetes Brain makes perfect sense. Also, I'm weird. 
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1. Went to check the daily totals on my insulin pump this morning, instead I reached for my iPhone and punched in my security code, then sat there looking at the screen for 10 seconds before I realized I’d picked up the wrong device. TRUE STORY.
Sidebar: THE MACHINES ARE TAKING OVER.

2. Whenever I look at food posts on Instagram and Pinterest, I immediately wonder the carb count, then I start calculating the carbs. 
Then I start to wonder about the fiber count and then I go down the diabetes, food pretty pictures, and fictional verses non fictional carb, rabbit hole.

3.Speaking of food. I recently realized I haven’t bought orange juice in years. 
Yep, totally D related and having to do with hitting the Orange Juice Wall when it comes to treating lows.

4. When I check into hotel rooms I automatically put my diabetes low stash on the nightstand. 

5. Sometimes when I’m in the middle of a conversation and fiddling with my insulin pump near a table or a counter, I check my pump, place it on said table or counter, and then go back to the conversation. 
And 9 times out of 10, when the conversation is over or I need to grab something from another room, I walk away and bungipumping ensues. 

6. Random but true: I kid you not, I cannot remember the last time I drank beer. 
Beer requires too much math so I stick to wine or vodka with club.

7. Lately I’ve started to throw out my used test strip as soon as I’m done with it. WEIRD. 

8. Sherlocking diabetes on the TV. 
Watched a rerun of Rizzoli & Isles a few weeks ago, even though I’d seen it before.
 It was an interesting episode because the murder victim had diabetes. 
D was not the COD, but the murder had an intimate knowledge of D. 
And even though I’d watched it before, I still felt let down when it became clear that the writers of R&I tried, but didn’t quite succeed re: diabetes reality as a plot line. 
Still, it was a good attempt. The episode didn't spread D myths or falsehoods, but they were off re: the actualities of living with diabetes. 
Seriously, what 30 something D adult female carries a log book and takes copious notes re: food and blood sugars every time she pricks her finger?  OR am I projecting? 
Also and spoiler alert: If someone secretly replaced the insulin in my pump with something other than insulin, I would have known something was up because I would have felt like shit because of high blood sugars and all that goes with them. 
Also, if doesn't smell like band-aids or scotch - it ain't insulin.
I would have tossed out the insulin in my pump - and I would have been correcting with injections after I switched out my reservoir. 
UNLESS....  what if hypothetically, R&I's victim ( a PWD, even though she's completely made up fictional character in a fictional television show, I'm still compelled to get into her PWD head,) was worried about throwing out the insulin/insulin imposter because insulin is so f*v$ing expensive? 

And now I'm down the diabetes as a plot-line, rabbit hole!

9. Speaking of insulin, the price of insulin and diabetes related supplies and costs keeps me up at night. This is nothing new nor is it even slightly amusing. 
It’s scary and it’s real and I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. 

10. Re: Smart insulins , (aka insulin with a brain) is on the horizon for those us who require insulin to live - and that's great - I'm all for having access, using and utilizing smarter, faster, insulin. 
But I struggle to pay for the "dumb insulins" that available to us now, so how the hell will I be able to afford the smart ones? 

Things That Make Me Go Hmmmmmm, 2011 Spring Edition

I don't get why Hollywood keeps remaking movies that you know, aren't really aren't that old.
Do we really need a remake of "Silence Of The Lambs?"

I don't know about you, but Hannibal Lechter will always be Anthony Hopkins in my mind, and regardless of who utters "It puts the lotion in the basket," I know who I'll be thinking SHOULD be saying it! How bout they just write/make some new movies?

The Charlie Sheen Torpedo of Truth Tour: Why are people paying money to see this man who obviously has addiction and mental issues. Look, I'll be the first to admit, the first time I ever saw Charlie Sheen was in Ferris Bueller's Day Off," and I was hooked!
I refused to leave the theater until I found his name in the credits - Yes, he was the original bad boy that kicked off my love affair with bad boys. But over the years his rapid and disturbing decline due to drugs, his entitlement issues, horrific treatment of women and a Hollywood system that fully enabled his bad behaviour has completely turned me off.

I also think the guy REALLY needs to get help, and I don't believe he can get that help on tour.

How come my insurance company insists on bombarding me with "Health Care Update" calls, but the folks making the calls don't know a clue about diabetes and always seemed shocked to find out I'm insulin/an insulin pump? READ.MY.FILE.

Why are people excited about Donald Trump running for President ? Do you really want someone in the White House with absolutely no foreign policy experience, a huge slant on the side of big business, multiple businesses that will take his focus off running the county, (I want whoever is in the White House to have one all encompassing job, called being The President of The United States) and an ego larger than Canada? Think about it.

Speaking of politics, Arizona needs to get their diabetes facts straight! They want to charge people with 'unhealthy behaviours," including diabetes (YES< REALLY) a fee for living an unhealthy lifestyle in order to be on Arizona's medicaid program. Arizona politicians, STOP getting your diabetes info from Readers Digest, PLEASE!

Speaking of misinformation, why do I get at least 5 new Twitter followers a day pitching weight loss products? And why are they surprised when I report them as spammers?

Speaking of pitches, if your email me a PR Pitch with the opening line: Dear Diabetes Blogger, don't be surprised if I don't get back to you!

What are some things (and they don't have to be diabetes related) that make you go: Hmmmmmmm ?

Things That Make Me Go "Hmmmmmm," Damn Near End Of Summer Edition

Things that make me go HMMMMMM, damn near end of summer edition.
Those that read my blog, know that lots of things in this world make me go "HMMMMM."
Some are diabetes related and some are not, but all leave me scratching my head!

For the life of me, I don't understand why I'm bombarded with twitter followers who pitch weight loss via hypnosis, lap-band surgery, and raw food diets. Here's a thought: GET A CLUE! Just because I have diabetes doesn't mean that I'm over weight, need to have major surgery, or believe that eating raw foods 24 X7will cure me. Seriously, STOP STALKING ME!

Why is that when I'm just about to embrace REM sleep and drift off to la-la land, a low blood sugar decides to rear its ugly head?? And why do I wait a few minutes hoping that it's something else entirely?

Why does Glen Beck use a blackboard?

I find it ironical and extremely annoying that when I'm supposed to fast at midnight for blood work, I have an almost uncontrollable urge to graze at precisely 12:01 a.m. What's with that?

I also find it "ironical" that the Corn Refiners Association feels that the American people are "confused" about High Fructose Corn Syrup. We aren't confused, THEY ARE.

What's the deal with Kim Kardashian & Justin Beiber and why do I even care?

Why does the instructions on shampoo bottles almost always tell us to: Wash, rinse, & repeat?

Why do people tell me (us) "I look good, especially for having diabetes." REALLY?! It's not like I tell them that "they look good, especially for being a stupid moron."
BOTTOM LINE: I look good because of good lighting, a flattering lipstick shade and a sparkling (if not sardonic) personality.

I have absolutely now idea "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood." And what the hell is a woodchuck anyway?
OK, I just googled the above and apparently a woodchuck is another name for the North American groundhog. And for the record, woodchucks can't "chuck" wood. But if a woodchuck could chuck wood, it's been estimated that the amount of wood chucked would be damn close to 700 lbs. Say that three times fast!

Things That Make Me Go Hmmmmm? - The Start of Summer Edition

Things That Make Me Go Hmmmmmm?

It’s been a while since I’ve published my list of things (diabetes related and otherwise) that I just don’t understand no matter how much I try.

These following things make me go Hmmmmmmm...

The insulin Dawn Phenomenon – Don’t get it, don’t understand it completely,don’t like experiencing it.

Why do people think that those of us with type 1 Diabetes have “the bad kind?"

Why are people so bat shit over someone named Justin Bieber ?

How come my blood sugars can be all sorts of perfecto and than go completely nutburgers for no reason what so ever?

For the life of me, I don't understand why my wonderful, smart, and beautiful 14-year-old cousin is obsessed with the Kardashians

Why is anyone obsessed with the Kardashians?

What’s with used test strip always ending up every place except the trash can?

I have no idea what I’d do for a Klondike Bar, but I do have a whole list of things I wouldn’t do for a Klondike Bar:

1. I wouldn’t sell my soul to the devil
2. Commit any type of illegal acts- let your imagination run the gambit here folks, the list of illegal acts is way to long to go into detail
3. Shave my head and get a map of the world tattoo on said shaved head
4. “Dance with the devil in the pale moon light”
5. Bungee jump off a bridge, building or cliff
6. Walk or crawl through broken glass
7. Swim in shark infested waters
8. Walk into a lions den
9. Fight a grizzly bear
10. Spend 24 hours in the desert sans food, water, sunscreen, and tent
11. Wrestle an alligator
12. Knowingly walk into a den of circus clowns
13. Watch any of the Hellraiser movies
14. Break bread with racists
15. Eat tripe or chickens feet
16. Sky Dive
17. Listen/watch Glen Beck
18. Listen/watch Rush Limbaugh
19. Follow Justin Bieber’s tweets
20. Listen to people perpetuate diabetes myths and stereotypes and not utter a single word.

Why the hell was this article about a little 11-year-old boy who's England's youngest Bee Keeper with “severe diabetes” even allowed to be published? It’s wrong on every diabetes and journalistic level possible! It’s perpetuating diabetes myths and stereotypes to the public and giving them the wrong diabetes info.

The person who wrote should either be fired for writing sensationalist tripe or write a retraction and redo the story with a positive diabetes spin and correct diabetes facts!

Why are food manufacturers downsizing the foods and raising the prices?

Why is Hollywood doing remakes of EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN? I just saw stills from the Mildred Pierce remake and rumor has it “My Fair Lady” is the next movie to get a makeover! Give us a break!

How come insurance companies only allow us to get new insulin pumps once every four years? Seriously, that’s ridiculous! It’s an intimate object that we wear 23 hours out of 24, 7 days a week. It gets bumped, banged, and bungee pumped (shoutout to http://bittersweet-karen.blogspot.com/ for Bungee Pumping ref) daily. If we put the wear and tare on a car, it would implode into a million pieces of scrap metal in 1 year’s time. Time to rethink your insulin pump limits insurance folks!

"Things That Make Me Go Hmmmmm?" Spring Edition

Spring has sprung and once again, lots of things are making me go Hmmmmmm.

PART 1

I’m happy the healthcare reform bill passed because I strongly believe that every single person (pre existing condition or not) needs to be insured at a fair price regardless of their job, or lack of one.

I've also had my own insurance issues as of late and know first hand what it's like to be forced to switch to a more expensive insurance or be dropped completely by your insurance company because of an out of the blue health scare that was none diabetes related.

Look, I still have questions regarding the health plan. There’s a lot of verbiage to plow through and I haven't plowed through all of it yet. I know it's not perfect and I never expected it to be. But things need to change regarding healthcare and insurance companies and it's a start. I’m still reading articles on the subject & will state my thoughts in a much more articulate manner very soon.

I don’t understand why people are so against having the option of a national health plan, if only for the following two reasons.

Insurance companies will finally have to be accountable for their actions- just like every other business in the United States.

Pre existing conditions like diabetes, asthma, lupus,etc will no longer cost us astronomical premiums that can increase whenever said insurance companies feel like it.

One thing that didn’t make go hmmm (it made go W.T.H) was why the FDA only had one person with the patient perspective speak at their hearings for meter accuracy. What’s with that?

Ellen Ullman was our voice at the hearing and she was WONDERFUL. Thank God she was there to speak on our behalf! And why shouldn't she have a place at the hearings? Aren’t the patients and their families the ones that actually USE THE METERS? Don’t the patients lives and well being depend on keeping track of their blood sugars?

Here's a question to the FDA: Why not include a multitude of patient perspectives in the hearings? It’s not rocket science FDA folk; it’s pure common sense. Talk to the people who use the product DAILY because their lives depend on it- not just the people who manufacture said product.

Click HERE to Send the FDA your patient perspective.

Click HERE to read an excellent post on the subject!

Another thing I understand but still don’t want to do is Basal Testing. The very thought of it makes say “OH SH*T” every time I think of what it entails.

I’m going to be honest here. I don’t want to fast and I don’t want to not drink coffee in the morning. I don’t want to fast, and I certainly don’t feel like getting up in the middle of the night to test and test again. Did I mention that I don’t want to fast?

BUT, and the but is KEY here folks- I want to be healthy and it’s been YEARS since I did basal testing - it needs to be done. My basal rates most certainly need to be tweaked, BIG TIME.

I’ll be starting my basal tests very soon and you'll hear all about it.

Another thing that makes me go hmmmm is drug/DME companies version of the “IDEAL DIABETIC.” We are far from perfect. We are not just the young and old, and our blood sugars vary from hour to hour. We are not all cute and fuzzy, and some pwds are more weathered and wise. Many look very much like the person you see in the mirror - Go figure? Companies need to represent us all- not just who YOU think we are.

Another thing that makes me cringe and go hmmmmmm is fashion. Seriously folks, who ever said that having a chronic illness must = bad, ugly fashion?

I don’t and won’t buy into that school of thought and neither do most of the PWDs I know. Stay tuned re: my passion for pretty diabetes fashion~

BIG Thanks go out to Amy, Mike, & Kerri for writing such excellent posts that I linked to in Part 1. THANKS GUYS~

PART 2

Why do people think Glen Beck speaks the truth? Just because he uses a blackboard doesn’t mean he’s a scholar or an authority on the “Real America.” Every single one of us, red state or blue, is part of the "Real America!" Just because I think Glen Beck is a moron makes me no less of an American.

And finally: Why are people obsessed with MTV’s THE JERSEY SHORE? I'm not even going to link to that piece of tripe!

I'm going to state as fact that those people don’t represent New Jersey as a whole. I grew up at the beach in South Jersey and that’s not how we were brought up.

Thats not how my friends and family bring up their children. New Jersey is the Rodney Dangerfield of states - Jersey gets no respect! And now with a show like that, we never will.

The people on that show are a horrible representation of the Garden State and give Jerseyites and Italian Americans alike a bad name!

Things That Make Me Go Hmmmmm? Continued.

I’m smart (not MENSA smart mind you,) but I have enough sense to come out of the rain so to speak. Anyway, there are things I just don’t get- and continually make me go: Hmmmmm.

And everyone once in a while - I post about them.

SO (and in no particular order) here are some additions to things in this universe that make me go Hmmm?

Algebra – And yes, I have the High School & college transcripts to prove it.

Why 2 bottles of insulin cost me $138 dollars out of pocket- and why is it that my insurance company ONLY reimburses me 40%, which comes out to be $55.

Why does my insurance company penalize me because insulin is not made in a generic form? It’s not like it’s a “luxury” medication to make my eyelashes grow longer, thicker, & more luxurious. I need insulin to live for goodness sake!

Why do people LOVE to eat Scrapple? Not me, of course. I have not ideal why ANYONE in the universe would eat something called Scrapple and I have a very vivid memory of my 4 year old self saying that very same phrase to my mother.

For those of you not in the East Coast Philadelphia, New Jersey, Delaware region-Scrapple is a “delicacy,” (and I use that term VERY LOOSELY) which one either loves or loathes. Let’s just say it’s made from the “scrap” pieces from a pig. I think I would loathe it- even though to be fair, I’ve never eaten it. And I NEVER will.

Why does my insulin pump battery need to changed the ONE time I forget to carry a spare?

Why do people watch “The Hills?” Now to fair, I’ve NEVER watched the show, so I may very well be missing out on something phenomenal. But for what

I’ve seen and read about the show and its stars, IT"S TOTALLY FAKE. And they “seem” to be shallow- like really shallow. More shallow then the bay at low tide.

How come whenever I’m at my moms and we’re watching TV, a commercial for ED (Erectile Dysfunction) comes on?

And why does she ask me every single time what ED is??? This NEVER happens to my siblings!

Why are people shocked when I tell them I’ve never eaten anything from Kentucky Fried Chicken?

Why are most shoes made for those of us made with wide feet so ugly and sensible looking? A wide toe span does not mean that one has no sense of fashion and or taste.

Why are Kim Kardashian and her sisters famous?

Why is it that that Every January 1^st, the cost for my insulin magically goes down to $126 for two bottles, but then and just as magically, go back up to $138 once I reach my deductible?

Why do nail fungus commercials think I actually want to see either a real live nail fungus or an artist’s rendering on said commercial? I’ll take your word that they do indeed suck- I don’t need visuals!

Why do people only see this face:

Or These faces

Or These.....

As the faces of Diabetes?

People with Diabetes are a diverse group spanning many ages, races, and types and it's time the media represent all of our faces!

Things That Make Me Go...Hmmmmm?

There are lots of things in life that make me go “Hmmmm.” Some are Diabetes related, some are not.

I have a Mac Laptop, which I love, love, and love! When I get deep into writing (or watching “The Office” episodes downloaded from iTunes) I tend to scrunch my legs and rest the laptop against my knees & over my waist. My laptop battery gets hot, I mean like I could fry eggs on the bottom of it if I had to type hot. Sometimes it rests on my pump tubing and or pump. When I realize what’s going on I move my pump and tubing ASAP. But I still wonder, “Is it to late? Have I just fried the insulin in my pump?” Then I end up testing like crazy for an hour. The answer has yet to be “yes” but still,...you never know!

When I eat sliced celery, carrots, and sweet peppers, should I bolus for them? I don’t normally, unless I’m dipping them in hummus, but should I?

Do I really need to shift into forth if I’m only going 26 miles an hour?

Why do some people "syrup" and some people say "seer-up?"

Why is the guy on the Oxi-Clean commercial YELLING?

Why does Mucinex use talking chunks of phlegm to sell their product? SO DISGUSTING!

Sometimes when I wake up (especially when I use 43 inch pump tubing) I can’t find my pump. IS that normal or do I just require GPS tracking 24X7 for it? I really think GPS tracking, or “The Clapper” for my pump would be a good thing. Not to turn it on or off, but to set off an alarm to tell me where it actually is when it's not on my person. YES, I’ve missed placed my pump in the past.

Why do doorknobs have it out for my pump tubing?

Why is Paris Hilton famous? And why does she have a perfume? Who the hell wants to stank like that, or anyone else for that matter? Please see below post for a more "Diabetes"specific scent example -Say that three times fast!

Why do most on-line and print Editors fail to differentiate between Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetes?? Same for On-air Reporters, freaking drives me NUTS!

Why does Airport Security know what my insulin pump is, but continually pull me aside because of my blood sugar machine?? Do not the two go hand in hand?

Why does the OLDIES station play 80's and 90's music??? They do not fall into the old music category! THEY DON'T BELONG THERE I TELL YOU!!!

How come I’ve cracked the “pump bolus code” for ice cream but the “pump bolus code” for pasta still continues to elude me?

And why does that bother me so much? I mean, I’ve figured out "Blood Sugar Nirvana" for ice cream so who cares about pasta!