Friday, August 27, 2010

Things That Make Me Go "Hmmmmmm," Damn Near End Of Summer Edition

Things that make me go HMMMMMM, damn near end of summer edition.
Those that read my blog, know that lots of things in this world make me go "HMMMMM."
Some are diabetes related and some are not, but all leave me scratching my head!

For the life of me, I don't understand why I'm bombarded with twitter followers who pitch weight loss via hypnosis, lap-band surgery, and raw food diets. Here's a thought: GET A CLUE! Just because I have diabetes doesn't mean that I'm over weight, need to have major surgery, or believe that eating raw foods 24 X7will cure me. Seriously, STOP STALKING ME!

Why is that when I'm just about to embrace REM sleep and drift off to la-la land, a low blood sugar decides to rear its ugly head?? And why do I wait a few minutes hoping that it's something else entirely?

Why does Glen Beck use a blackboard?

I find it ironical and extremely annoying that when I'm supposed to fast at midnight for blood work, I have an almost uncontrollable urge to graze at precisely 12:01 a.m. What's with that?

I also find it "ironical" that the Corn Refiners Association feels that the American people are "confused" about High Fructose Corn Syrup. We aren't confused, THEY ARE.

What's the deal with Kim Kardashian & Justin Beiber and why do I even care?

Why does the instructions on shampoo bottles almost always tell us to: Wash, rinse, & repeat?

Why do people tell me (us) "I look good, especially for having diabetes." REALLY?! It's not like I tell them that "they look good, especially for being a stupid moron."
BOTTOM LINE: I look good because of good lighting, a flattering lipstick shade and a sparkling (if not sardonic) personality.

I have absolutely now idea "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood." And what the hell is a woodchuck anyway?
OK, I just googled the above and apparently a woodchuck is another name for the North American groundhog. And for the record, woodchucks can't "chuck" wood. But if a woodchuck could chuck wood, it's been estimated that the amount of wood chucked would be damn close to 700 lbs. Say that three times fast!


The Piquant Storyteller said...

Kelly, you seem on edge today. I hope you have a fabulous weekend. If it makes you feel any better my Twitter followers seem to be busty women who can't spell to save their lives. I'm thinking they are pretty disappointed that PiquantStory doesn't mean I tweet about sex!

Penny said...

Happy Friday Kel!

Karen Goldstein said...

I LOVE your "moron" comment...I silently used it today on someone who asked if I was catching up on my texting while checking my last BG on my pump.

Jamie Naessens said...

You made my day. Really! You're right on all counts.

Chris said...

Ha, I totally do the middle-of-night-hypo-denial. Who do I think I'm fooling? Ah, the genius of the fatigued brain.

tmana said...

Wash, rinse. Repeat.

Some years ago I heard an NPR segment on that very word "repeat" -- said to be one of the best marketing campaigns ever.

Until the 1970's, people normally only washed their hair once a week. They also used styling products (hair pomade or gel for men, hairspray for women) that made it difficult for shampoos to penetrate through and actually clean one's hair and scalp. In addition, these products tend to make it difficult to sufficiently wet one's hair for shampoo to work its way in, penetrate, and lather up in the manner that ads and TV commercials taught us to associate with a successful product/cleaning (remember the Prell commercials about how little product it took to make loads of lather?)

In the "repeat" process, the first application of shampoo starts to break down the oil-and-product build-up, but doesn't lather up completely (and/or you don't pass the "squeak test" if you've been using that much styling product); the second application sits on a head that is already well-wetted and is much more successful at lathering up and removing the remaining residues.

The side effect of the repeat cycle was stripping the hair of some of its natural oils, providing a growth opportunity for the creme rinse and conditioner segment of the haircare market.

FWIW, my current shampoo (Pantene Ice) does not have a "repeat" instruction.

Sysy Morales said...

funny stuff lol.

Unknown said...

Dude, our REM cycles must be the same - that's when lows grab me too! WTH?

Lorraine of "This is Caleb..." said...

We find ourselves singing this from time to time too!

Beyonce who?