Diabetes Memory #78,290: Food Prep FlashBacks

I grew up at the tail end of the Diabetes Dark Ages. Only a few types of insulin were available then, we tested urine instead of blood sugars and there were no such things as CGMs or insulin pumps. My parents had 3 children out of 6 with type 1 and my dad had t1. Things were hectic and crazy and it wasn't calm or easy. 
I’ve written about it before but honestly I don’t know how the hell they survived diabetes sans support - but they did - And I am so grateful.  
It’s funny that food prep can bring back childhood memories of life with  D, but it totally does and did. The following happened Sunday night. 
######

Mom & I - A  few months before I was dx'd

Sunday night I was prepping food for the week. And by prepping I mean pre-slicing Granny Smith apples, spritzing the slices with juice from a lemon so they wouldn’t brown in the fridge and would be all ready for my Monday morning green smoothie. 
I washed a bunch of baby spinach and spun it dry in my salad spinner and cut up bananas chunks to freeze for the same breakfast smoothie. 
I pre-peeled organic carrots, sliced them and threw them in a glass jar filled with ice water and placed it in the fridge, so they were good ready whenever I wanted to snack on something crunchy and low carb. 
My prep time was quick and just as I was finishing up the carrots, I had a flashback of my childhood  - to my mom standing at the sink peeling carrots and placing them in a glass jar filled with ice water in the fridge - Something she did daily and long before I was diagnosed. Followed by a memory of her washing grapes and strawberries, drying them completely,  then counting out exactly 12 grapes, wrapping them in saran-wrap for my school snack bag. 
Next she' measuring 1 cup of strawberries, slice them in half and place them in a small Tupperware container and put  it in my lunch box.
Mom tried so hard to make things as normal as possible for me/us when it came to eating. 
As a family, we only dined on small baked potatoes instead of big ones at dinner, there were always lots of raw veggies because I liked raw veggies better than cooked veggies - Still do to this day.  And always sugar free chocolate pudding for dessert. 
FTR: I don’t dig sugar free anything, except for sugar free chocolate pudding.
Yep, my mom did her absolute best and I wasn’t always grateful - I fought the grapes and refused to eat them  a lot of times because “who the hell only eats 12 grapes?” 
I preferred strawberries and apples because I felt like I was getting more bang for my diabetes buck - they weren’t free foods, but they sure felt like it sometimes.
Looking back, she let me go to sleepovers because she knew it was important to be with my friends. I’m sure there were phone calls made between the sleepover parents and mine and I have no doubt that my sugars were on the high side the next day, but I don’t remember. I just remember the sleeping over, staying up and having fun, parts. 
I took tap dancing on Saturday mornings and did gymnastics 3 days a week. 
I always carried my snack with me and mom waited with the rest of the moms in the waiting room until the end of class, when we performed for our parents. 
I always ate a big snack class before class and if I needed to eat during, I ate. 
My parents made sure my teachers knew and nobody ever made a big deal of it - except for my 5th grade teacher - but that’s for another post. 

And as I stood at the sink thinking about all those things my eyes started to get all leaky. 

I was a lucky duck to have her as my mom and I know it!
And I miss her so much.

Dear Mom: The Best Parts of Me Are The Best Parts Of You~

I love this picture of my mother so much- It shows the light both in her and on her.
She was taking a limo up to see her grand-daughter perform in an off B'way production with
her lunch lady crew -
Photo courtesy of my iPhone~

Dear Mom  - 

Tomorrow, September 23rd, marks 2 years since you left us and I think about you every, single day - And I miss you terribly.

 That first 18 months were a whirlwind and I didn’t know wether I was coming or going -  

The loss of you, the sale of your house - the division of your things - It was like my heart was being broken again every day. 

My heart ached and I cried daily for 18 months - And when I thought I didn't have any tears left, I proved myself wrong.

But, I also felt your strength daily - And I still do - And it is your strength and hope that  makes me strong and makes me do what you always taught us: To pick ourselves up by our boot straps, move on and be positive. 

As of late, the past 6 months, I’ve found myself having moments of such clarity and resolve - And I know in those moments, you were right beside me - Your strength flowing through me and making my own strength stronger. 

Those best parts of you - Helping me when I need it most - 

The best parts of me are truly the best parts of you. 

 And I see and hear the best parts of you in your children and grandchildren, I hear and see your smile in my sister, Cathy -And that warms my heart. 
 And your light continues to shine for all of us and in us - And I’m so God damned thankful for that, mommy. 

Tomorrow is the day, exactly 2 years  since your passing - And like always, you will be on my mind and in my heart. 

But wonderful things are happening tomorrow -  Positive and great things that I know would/ and are making you smile and bringing you great joy. 

Not so subtle things that are you and the universe's way of telling me that you know exactly what’s going on in all of our lives - And are happy. 

So taking your lead, because you were the perfect purveyor of ALWAYS seeing the glass half full, I'm going to focus on the positives tomorrow and take them as a sign from you that you know exactly what’s going on. 

Positive Things like:

I was asked to attend and speak on a panel at the World Congress on Patient Advocacy and Engagement, the first day of which starts tomorrow - And to me that was a little wink and a smile from up above. 

You letting me know that you’re watching and smiling and are right there with me - I plan on making you & my DOC proud. 
I plan on spending tomorrow and Tuesday focusing outward and focusing on ways to help others.

Truly amazing things like: 

The fact that tomorrow, Cristin Makes her season debut on the season premier of  “How I Met Your Mother.” 

And I know it’s not a coincidence that it airs tomorrow - A day that normally makes me cry, will now bring me ( and all those who love and miss you,) great joy and happiness.

You, who were always her biggest fan and fellow performing artist - The Matriarch who instilled the love of the Arts to every single one of her children and grandchildren, is letting us know that you are watching her from above - 

Just like when she was nominated for a Tony - And the awards aired the night of your birthday. 

Both lovely gifts in the form of calendar dates that represent the very essence of the lovely Marjory K.  

So on this day before the 2 anniversary of your passing, I want you to know how incredibly grateful I was to have you as my mother, my mentor and my friend.

How I will do my best to make you proud, today, especially tomorrow and every day, and perpetuate all the good that you brought to the world. 

Mom  - I love you so much - And miss you  - But I feel your presence, strength and love every day. 

Love you~

Xoxo 

PS: 

Sometimes a piece of music stops you in your tracks because it communicates exactly how you feel when you hear it. When I first heard  Poe’s “If You Were Here,” from the amazing ‘Haunted’ CD, daddy had just passed and the whole album, not to mention the song, hit the nail on the head re: my feelings. 

 And now I especially think of you mom, whenever I hear or read the following lyrics. 

“I know that you would

Truly be amazed

At what's become of what you made

If you were here

You would know how I treasured every day

How every single word you spoke

Echo's in me like a memory of hope

When you were here

You could not feel the value that I placed

One every look that crossed your face

When you were here

I did not know just how I had embraced

All that you hid behind your face

Could not hide from me

'Cause it hid in me too

Now that I'm here I hear you and wonder if maybe you can hear yourself

Ringing in me now that your somewhere else.

'Cause I hear your strange music gentle and true

Singing inside me with the best parts of you

Now that I'm here

I love you...”

  Poe~

Day 7 of Diabetes Blog Week: My Diabetes Hero

It's Day 7 of Diabetes Blog Week - And it's all about Heroes - As in: Who is my Diabetes Hero.

And it doesn't matter if that Hero is a type1, type 1.5, type2 or type 3.

My Diabetes Hero was my mom - Even though her pancreas worked fine until a few years ago. 

She never gave up, she always had a smile and a kind word and she could kick major ass when she needed to. 

My mother was a resilient woman whose sparkle could be seen from a mile away.

And my mother  always picked herself up  by her bootstraps and plowed ahead no matter what obstacles life tossed in her way - And she expected each of her children to do the same. 

My mom had 6 children, and three of those children had type 1 - And one of them passed away from type 1. 

She also had a husband with type 1 diabetes.

And my mother persevered. She kept moving and kept going and she NEVER gave up. 

And she never let her children with diabetes use diabetes as a crutch or an excuse - It was a part of life and we had to face it head on. 

And that attitude was one of the greatest gifts my mother ever gave me.

My mom had a heart that was filled with love and laughter.

But unbeknownst to us, she had a damaged heart from having scarlet fever as a baby - but no one realized it was damaged until she was in her 60s.

She was all "damn the torpedos" and damn them she did.

She was an athlete, a mother, a caregiver and an amazing woman. 

Here's the thing: my mom's heart was only working at 25% for the past four or five years, but my mom never told any of us that, and Girlfriend did more with a heart at 25% then most people did with a heart working at 100%.

She made her heart adapt and work for her. 

She never let it stop her from living or laughing or loving and she not only had a blast - she had a social life that would make most of us jealous!

And in the end it wasn't her 25% heart that did her in.

I miss my mom a lot  - But I was quite a lucky chicklet to have her for as long as I did. 

She's the reason I see the glass half full and she's the reason I keep on trucking. 

She's the reason I am tough and sweet all rolled into one and she's the person who inspires me every single day - Both in my life - And my life with diabetes - And even though she's no longer here. 

CHEERS Mommy!

Pink Hat, Red Hat.

Mom & I about 3 months before I was diagnosed

Dear Mom: Happy Mother's Day

CHEERS MOM!

Dear Mom - 

Happy Mother's Day.

This year is different from all the Mother's Days of the past. 

 We're not sitting across from one another sharing brunch or having Pinot Griglio and laughs over dinner.

 And I miss you something awful. 

Mom, there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about you and if truth be told, there hasn't been a day since you've gone that I haven't she a tear.

I know that I was lucky to have had you in my life for so long 

and I find comfort that the best parts of me are the best parts of you. 

And I know through the little signs that you leave for me that you are still with me in spirit. 

Like yesterday, when I took a walk to get some much needed exercise and to clear my head, and I spent a lot of time thinking about you and how much I missed you. 

And I was thinking about the amazing garden of purple irises, lilies, daffodils and roses you created and how every time I saw any of those flowers I was reminded of you. 

And as that very thought was going through my head I turned and looked in a store window and saw a giant painting of a purple Iris - Which was one of your absolute favorite flowers. 

You'd planted at least a 100 in your garden and now with the house sold and torn down, they're all gone. 

I'd been thinking about your irises for weeks and all of sudden, there was a giant painting of one just when I was missing you most. 

And at that moment, I knew you were with me. 

One day I stopped over a friend's house to drop something off, but she wasn't home.

And as I stood on the porch talking with her husband, he suddenly stopped mid sentence and said: Oh my God Kel, when you said that, you look just like your mom  - It's scary. 

I never realized how much the two of you looked alike until now.

And those words made me feel happy and good and they made me smile. 

On the days where I find myself tired and need an added push to get something done, 

I ask you for some help so that I can plough through the muck because I want to make us both proud. 

And then 9 times out of 10 I do. 

So thanks for that. 

And when Cristin was nominated for a Tony Award a few weeks back, 

I found tremendous comfort in the fact that the night of the Tony Awards is June 10th, which happens to be your birthday. 

And I knew in my heart and in my head that it was no coincidence at all. 

It was your way of showing me that not only did you know Cristin was nominated, but that you've been keeping an eye on what's going on from your seat in the sky - And that, like you is a beautiful and wonderful thing.

So happy Mother's Day Mom - I love you, 

Kelly~

#6

One of Marjory's Irises
circa 2010

Dear Mom: Four Months Later.....

Dear Mom -

It's been 4 months and a little over one week since you died and I miss you so damn much that there there are times my heart and body actually hurt.

There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you and I'd give anything to see you and hug you and hear your voice.

And I miss hearing you laugh and I miss how much we laughed together! We were very very close, and I am so grateful for that.

And I still love you something fierce & I know that you loved me just as fiercely and are looking down and protecting me always!

But as long as I'm being honest, I have to admit that even though we were the closest of close, I still have major feelings of guilt because we argued on the way home from the airport the night before you went into the hospital - And that haunts me.
We made up by the time we got back to your house and had dinner.
And that's one of the things I loved about our relationship.

We always had fun but we had our times where we'd argue and disagree over something and then it was over - just like that!

Then we'd tell one another that we loved each other & we'd both say we were sorry and then we would have a good laugh about our silliness - And we would never hold a grudge.

And it is the most wonderful of blessings that THAT was how we did things.

Mom, I know you loved me and I know that you know I loved you, because we said so often and with such ease and appreciation and love.
But still, I feel terrible that we fought at all that night.
The next day I was considering going to the beach, but hesitated because you seemed so very tired and I didn't want to go.
But you told me (and I'm paraphrasing here) that you were beat from traveling and that you just wanted to relax and that I needed to go out and get some sun and that that I worried too much about you and that I should lighten up and relax and go have some fun.

So I listened to you and went to the beach.
And when I go back later that afternoon, you were sitting on the porch waiting for me and I knew in the pit of my stomach that something was wrong.
Then you told me you'd gotten sick and that your back hurt.

I called the ambulance immediately, even though you didn't want me to.

And later on, when the doctors said your illness had been brewing for months... I wondered if things things might have been different if that day had played out differently.

Mom, I miss being your daughter and even more I miss having you as my mother and my friend.

You loved me unconditionally - flaws and all.

And you always saw my light shine from within, even when I didn't - And you always made me smile.

And no longer having you in this world is a very hard to thing accept.

But knowing that you're with Dad and Debbie & your parents & brother and sister makes me happy and give me comfort.

I know that they waited a very long time to see you again. The days since you've been gone have been filled with tears and change and it's been a wild roller coaster ride.

And I know that the days ahead will continue to be filled with change and tears and I'm sure the amusement park theme will continue.

And I know that you are looking out for me - And I will best to make you proud of everything I do!

The first three months after your death were a whirlwind of shock and of being numb and of dealing with change and all sorts of crap.
Going through the motions was how I got by - I was on autopilot.

I'm into month four now and there are moments of autopilot for sure, but I am finally finding my back way to normal - Even thought it's an incredibly different normal.

I have moments of anger when I think of how much you suffered in the end and it literally makes me feel broken.

And when I hear friends or strangers complain about something their mother did, I want to shake them and say: Get over the small shit, you only have one mother and your lucky yours is still alive!

Once, I actually uttered those words to a teenager at the mall who was yelling at her mom.

She looked at me in shock - and for the first time in the history of malls and the teenagers who frequent them, I think a teenager was rendered speechless in the food court.

There have been days over the past four months that I've waited for the wave of grief to knock me down and I wondered if I'll be able to get back up. But I always do - I get back up.

I ride those waves of grief like a surfer and will continue to do so.
And I know that no matter what, the wave will eventually crest.

And I will always find my way back to shore - Because I am my mother's daughter.

And in those moments I hold on to you tight and use your memory as my lighthouse, rudder & anchor all rolled into one.

I feel your strength in me and with me and there have been a few times when I actually feel your presence.

And every now and then when I miss you most, I notice little unexpected reminders of you all around.

Flashes of lavender and purple in your favorite shades pop up when I need to see them most .

Hearing songs on the radio that you used to sing loudly make me smile when I'm in the car and just when I start to feel sad about you not being here.

And because the winter has been a mild one, the daffodils are starting to pop up from the ground much earlier than they should.

And the daffs were one of your favorites- Mine too.

Daffodils are one of the strongest and resilient of flowers.

Daffodils are tough and beautiful at the same time and regardless of how tough life's winter is -

Daffodils remind us that Spring is just around the corner - Both cyclically & metaphorically.

Regardless of the elements or the obstacles, daffodils bloom brilliantly no matter what.

And even when their time is done, the daffodils beauty and strength give me hope and are unforgettable and inspiring and stay with me always.

So is it any wonder then that they remind me of you?

To Canada & The Canadian DOC Contingency With Love

On August 15th I accompanied my mom on a trip to Toronto, Canada so that she could see her oldest friend (they'd been friends since they were four) and my mother's older sister.

We returned home on the 20th and I called the ambulance for her on the evening of the 21st. You know the rest of the story, so I'm not going to rehash it.

Anyway, it's taken me a while to write this post for many reasons, mostly emotional.

I'm not going to post mom pics from this trip or go into much detail regarding our time in Canada together, because as much fun as we had, it still makes me cry when I think about it.

But I will say our trip back to my mother's homeland was a gift for all parties involved and I am so grateful for that time.

I wish I had done a few things differently, but I'm still so incredibly grateful to have been given such a gift.

I was going to use my in Toronto time to see the see family, sneak some work in if possible, check out the city, because the last time I'd been there I was maybe 16.

I had sky high hopes to visit The Banting House, which was a 3 hour drive.

But since II didn't have access to a car and the train drop-off was no where near the Banting House, I didn't make it, which totally bummed me out.

I had also planned to check out the University of Toronto & it's historical significance to the discovery of insulin, and later meet up with a few members of the Canadian Diabetes On-Line Community which I was thrilled about!!

So, I took the subway to U of Toronto, armed myself with a map and began my long trek by foot to discover my diabetes history.

As I walked miles and miles around the University, I started to feel really low, and I was just about to sit down on a bench, when out of the corner of my eye I saw this:

Had my blood sugar not gone low at that moment. I never would have seen this sign.

I actually went into the building after my blood sugar went up, and I have to say, I was disappointed.

For some reason I expected U of Toronto to make a bigger deal of the men who saved my life.

After I left that building, I continued my journey and about 7 minutes later I

saw a small plaque on a building and decided to investigate further.

Had I not had a map and actually knew where it was, I never would have seen it.

Then I went to the other side of the building and this is what I saw.

And once again, I was happy, but really sad and pissed off at the same time.

COME ON University of Toronto, trim the damn hedge and have some pride!

Seriously, what the hell??

I continued onward, looked for the word "Banting" on my map, and found the location of the following:

A Hero's plaque with little fanfare.

I can't believe I found it and I can't believe that no one seemed to give a shit.

I couldn't understand why no one seemed to care about Banting & Best.

I expected the City of Toronto & it's university to have banners, streamers and a damn marching band to celebrate our diabetes heroes.

After all, millions of lives were saved, and hadn't we just celebrated the 90th anniversary of the discovery of insulin??

After the letdown, I decided to continue exploring and I found some things that reminded me of home, except they were.. you know, " Canadianized."

Canadians have some interesting tastes. FYI: I didn't try the pickle chips but I really wish I had because I think I would have LOVED THEM!!

But I wasn't super interested in the chicken chips at all.

I continued my tour or Toronto and thought I saw a familiar face across the street......

Could it be???

I think I see........

Clifford??

Turns out I did see Clifford!!!!

Later I saw something else that reminded me of a familiar face.......

Can you say Scott Johnson????

I walked by things I wish I'd had time to see.

Like the above sign. I wish I'd known Carrie Fisher's One Woman show was in town, because I'd have bought tixs!

Cut to a few days later, when I was all dressed up and ready to spend the evening at Gretsky's with some friends I'd never met in real life.

Right down the street from Gretsky's I saw one of my all time favorite things ever!

A place whose members and name had inspired me since I was a child.

I could feel Gilda Radner & John Candy's spirit!
But I had important people to meet and had to walk past and not go in. :(

The front doors to Gretsky's

Walking into Great One's restaurant doors, I knew he Canadian Contingency of the DOC was on the other side and I was stoked!

I went to the rooftop and it was packed.

I walked around looking for people wearing insulin pumps and a seeing eye dog.

Finally, a woman walked up to me and asked: Are you Kelly? And I said: I sure am!

Turns out it was Ilana, and we hugged, walked around & found a tiny table on the rooftop.

We started chatting and were quickly joined by Scully & Virtue B and the conversation was just non stop.

Soon Jaimie, Larry & awesome type 3 guide dog Keeta joined us and we went inside, found a table in a quiet room and the the conversations continued, as did the continuous beeping of all of our pumps.

And if I remember correctly, the waiter had to come by like 5 times before we were ready to order.

The CanadianContingency explained the whole Putene concept to me (fancy word for cheese fries) and we discussed life, life with diabetes and everything in between.

We laughed, and then laughed some more and we had a blast!

Around 11 the evening ended and we posed for a group picture.

Ilana, Scully, Virtue B, your's truly, Larry, Keela & Jamie

Then we hugged one another, said our goodbyes, talked some more, hugged and said our goodbyes again.

We walked outside and one by one, we went our separate ways until finally it was Ilana and I.

Who might I add, went went out of her way to make sure I got on the right subway!
The next day I met Jaimie for coffee at Tim Horton's, the Canadian equivalent to Dunkin Donuts.

The coffee was OK, the Timbits (munchkins) were better, and the company was the best!
Once again, a fellow DOCer made sure I took the right subway, and I went back to my mother's friend's, had dinner and packed to go home. And the next day, I went home, and the next day after that, shit hit the fan with my mother's health, and it went down hill from there.

Through it all I received notes from my Canadian DOCers letting me know they were thinking of me and pulling for my mom.

They wrote me beautiful emails, comments and sent direct messages on twitter & facebook during her illness and after she died.

So to the Canadian DOCers - Thank you for bringing a smile to my face, both in Canada and at home.

Thank you for being there and understanding all that these past few months have been, and never once mentioning or asking when I was going to post about our meet up.

I love you guys and am so grateful to have met you both on line and in real life - And I can't wait until we meet again!

A Reminder Of Love & Hope Found Among Old Diabetes Newspaper Clippings

Mom ad I, four months before I was diagnosed

And she's still looking over my shoulder - Even though I can't see her.

So as one of the Executor’s of my mother’s estate, I have the task of going through years worth of her stuff - And at times it can be all consuming and incredibly emotional.

For instance, as I was cleaning out the kitchen junk drawer one day, I found two newspaper clippings from long ago.

One was from 1994 and it was all about the Diabetes Control And Complications Trial (DCCT) and the other from 2006 about how steel cut oatmeal was the better choice than instant or fast cooked oatmeal for people living with diabetes.

As I was cleaning out a drawer in her vanity, I found a newspaper article from July of 1990 (6 months before my sister Debbie died) about a new drug for transplant and dialysis patients re: Kidney disease. My sister started dialysis in the fall of 1990, and died in January of 1991.

And yesterday as I was going through her nightstand drawer, I found a 1995 clipping from the Associated Press about researchers successfully transplanting insulin producing cells from mice who were related, by tricking their immune systems into accepting the foreign cells.
And each I time I would find one of these clippings tucked away, I’d start to tear up, because it made realize several things.

1. My mother loved her 6 children very much, and three of those children had type 1 diabetes
   


2. She worried about us 24X7, which was something I used to tease her about daily
   


3. My mother taught us to live our lives with diabetes with gusto and even though she had her own demons regarding the “cure in 10 years” theory that she’d been told continually, each time one of her children was diagnosed with diabetes - She never never stopped hoping that researchers would some day make the cure prediction a reality
   


4. I was once again reminded that hope floats and stays with you even when you think you don't have any
   


5. And finally, your mother never stops loving you, even when when she's gone. And it's when she's gone that she'll find ways to remind you of her love... just when you're missing her the most!
   

Thankful For The DOC And Pulling Myself Up By My BootStraps.....

So it's been a rough ride these past 6 weeks and I have so much to come to grips with.

I miss my mother terribly and the the loss I'm feeling is indescribable.

I feel like I'm in some weird parallel universe and I don't like it one bit! I just want my mother back and my life to go back to normal, because this "new normal" is breaking my heart.

And I'm having a real problem putting how I feel into words - And when I sit at the computer to write about my feelings on the subject - I draw a blank.

But I can tell you that I'm so incredibly thankful & grateful for the Diabetes On-Line community! Without your love and support, I don't know what I'd do!!

The cards, emails, direct messages, cupcakes (Thank you Stacey Divone!) phone calls/voicemail and being there in IRL (Penny!!) have kept and continue to keep me going.

I can also tell you that I promised my mother I would be OK, and no matter what happens - I will be.

Mom and I were always honest with one another and I knew that if she thought I wouldn't be OK, she'd hang on. After her heart stopped and she coded twice, she never woke up and we were told she never would. She was on a ventilator and and starting to suffer.

So for her to hang on out of shear worry wasn't something I wanted for her. So I told her I'd be OK, and that if she wanted to go "home" to see see Daddy, Debbie, her parents, brother and sister and nephews, I'd be OK and to give them all kisses for me.

I loved my mother SO MUCH. She was in her mid 40's when I was born and our bond was so damn strong. She was my mother, friend and protector all in one - And I was her daughter, friend and protector all and one and together we were a force of nature!

Mom supported, was proud and accepted who I was - and who I wasn't and loved me no matter what! We laughed and we had moments when we fought fiercely, but the fights never lasted long, we never held grudges and we always told one another how much we loved each other.

Her house is now quiet without her laughter and sparkling personality, as is my heart.

But I'm happy that my mother lived independently up until the time she went into the hospital. She was always moving and doing and her social life was busier than mine!

She drove herself around in a 20 year old champagne colored caddy and everyone who came in contact with her LOVED her. Both her landscaper and mailman are heart broken by her death - I kid you not.

As far me, I've taken my mother's lifelong advice and have attempted to pick myself up by my bootstraps - even though I'm not so surefooted yet. I'm back working, back blogging and have many changes ahead of me in the next year. And all the change that's currently happening and will continue to happen is really scary.

My next post will be diabetes related, but from time to time, I'm going to write about my mom and I hope you'll all understand why. LOVE & THANKS!!!