Wordless Wednesday: BlueBerries~

"You ought to have seen what I saw on my way 
To the village, through Mortenson's pasture to-day: 
Blueberries as big as the end of your thumb, 
Real sky-blue, and heavy, and ready to drum 
In the cavernous pail of the first one to come! 
And all ripe together, not some of them green 
And some of them ripe! You ought to have seen!"

Robert Frost - Blueberries

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Last call for the summer blues - get them while you can!

One half a cup of blueberries = 11 grams of carbs and roughly 2 grams of fiber = 9 grams to bolus for.
One cup = 21 grams of carbs - roughly 3.6 grams of fiber = 18.4 grams of carbs.
Bolus worthy, loaded with anti-oxidents & diabetesalicious.
And only around for a few more weeks~

The Battle of High Blood Sugars & Ketones...

I've used the word "ketones" entirely too much in this post - And I hope I NEVER have to do that again - Or deal with them again. 
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I woke up incredibly tired Sunday morning and realized midway through that I was running in the 150's  #bgnow range for most of the day. 
I'd been out to dinner the night before and it was a carb filled feast and I figured the elevated blood sugars were the remnants of said feast. 

 I drank coffee, did some work (OK, attempted to do some work), did some laundry, took a walk and finally headed to the beach in the late afternoon where I spent over an hour (OK, an hour and 20 minutes,) swimming and body surfing in the Atlantic ocean  - where I left my worries in the sea. 

I'd begun my untethered swim/body surfing break  with a bg now of 170 and emerged from the ocean with a a bgnow of 140. 

I came home, decided tested again and  was 160. Still running high & still not sure why. 

I changed my site did a correction/meal bolus and an hour later started to make dinner - Not my norm, but my #bgnow was 140 so I wasn't worried. 

I  was tired from swimming and hungry, so I made a tuna salad with a handful of low carb crushed gluten free tortilla chips sprinkled on top and loaded with veggies, followed by a Popsicle and didn't think twice about it.

I'd made that very same meal a hundred times before - it was low carb and easy to bolus for. 

 After dinner I started to drag and around 10 pm, and just as I was ready to hit the sack, I discovered that not only was my blood sugar high - like 407 high, but so were my ketones. And I realized my over tired feeling had nothing to do with body surfing.  
my head was pounding, I was incredibly thirsty, and I literally felt like I was walking through J-E-L-L-O,

and every action felt like a monumental task and all I wanted was to go to sleep. 

But when I saw the 407 flash up on my meter, I knew that sleep wasn't a possibility. I went to the bathroom and emptied my filled to the brim bladder and found out that my ketones were hovering precariously between the Medium/ High ketone hues of deep mauve and purple. 

I can't tell you the last time I had moderate to large ketones and I was more than slightly freaked. I was down right worried. 

And at that moment I would have given anything to have someone next to me - telling me it would be all be OK - But I was on my own & I needed to keep it together if I wanted to do battle in the war that was going on inside me.

 I kept surprisingly calm and did a massive correction bolus of 6.2 units & downed 3/4's of a 16 ounce bottle of water and said a prayer to the Diabetes Gods re: my blood sugar, test strip accuracy & stripping safely, & keeping ketoacidosis at bay. 

I was downright methodical in my obsessive checking and tried my best to detach from the emotions and the diabetes "what-ifs" and do what needed to be done. 

20 minutes later my bgnow was 383 and my ketones were decidedly on the moderate mauve side of the ketone spectrum. I drank more water and practiced my yoga breathing. 

20 minutes after that my blood sugar was 355 and ketones were still in the moderate range. 

An hour later my blood sugar was 328,  ketones still moderate, and I made the executive decision to change my infusion site, directly followed by a 2.9 correction bolus. I finished my bottle of water and started a new one & set my alarm to wake me up at 1:45. for 1:30 a.m.

But I couldn't sleep, not one bit. I tried to stay calm and thought about the waves I'd caught earlier in the afternoon. I thought how the ocean temp had been perfect and how great it felt to ride a wave from chest deep water to calf deep water without breaking the wave's crest and how I was kind of doing the same again - except the waves were blood sugars and ketones instead of the salt water waves of the Atlantic - And how I had to ride out the high ketones and blood sugars in order to make it so shore in one piece. 

I finally got up at 1:45 a.m. and tested again. I was 279 & much like Elivis, "my ketones had decided to leave the building." They were suddenly non existent, disappearing as quickly as they'd appeared, like footprints in the sand as the tide rolled in. 

I drank more water and waited another 20 minutes - I tested for ketones again and there were none, so I went to bed. 

My alarm went off at what seemed like an ungodly hour this morning and I woke up to overly filled bladder, a 153 blood sugar and zero ketones. 

I hit the snooze button, emptied my bladder, turned on the coffee maker bolused for said coffee and went back to bed for a half hour. 

30 minutes later and with a #bgnow of 81, I dragged myself out of a bed and poured myself a steaming cup of coffee.

It's Monday and my work plate is more than full. I am battle weary and tired, and for the first time in years I'm glad that I wear glasses, because they cover the huge bags under my eyes. But no sleep and baggy eyes aside, I won the war against the raging blood sugars and ketones - And to the victor goes the spoils and yada, yada, yada. 

Still, winner or not, I feel like diabetes kicked my ass to the curb and then jumped the curb and ran over me with a bus & did a victory lap up and down my body. 

But it my head I know diabetes didn't crush me. And no matter what today brings, I know that diabetes didn't win - It happened, it's over and I now require major amounts of caffeine.

#Sharkweek on The Discovery Channel is Cool, But I Think #DiabetesWeek On The Discovery Channel Would Be Awesome!

I’m obsessed with Shark Week on the Discovery channel, like totally obsessed. 

Snuffy the Seal has become my mascot du jour. 

                  Snuffy the seal - "It's a bad week to be a seal." 

Sunday and Monday night I watched shark scientists surf in the same waters as their subjects & heard interviews with shark attack survivors. 

And last night when I should have been packing, or writing, or doing a hundred other things, I found myself glued to the television and mesmerized by all things shark. 

Things like a reconstructed megaladon, a sharkcam and all it’s awesome and incredibly close shark angles of sharks swimming of the Massachusetts coasts, not to mention shark attack survivors.

And then there was the #voodoo sharks. Yes, the Louisiana #voodoo sharks and the urban legend  the voodooiest shark of them all, the elusive and never seen Rookin. Who is thought to be some hybrid of bull shark and god knows what else, and who kills pretty much anything in its path.

There was Louisiana Shark hunter known as Captain Blimp (I swear to God, that’s his name) who was either the bravest or stupidest man alive, and with a Louisanna accent so thick that there should have been subtitles when he spoke. He was fearless and funny.

And it seems like everyone is into  #Shark Week - or cross promoting it. 

Ths week Wendy’s is serving their burgers in this contraption:

And... 

Tom’s is offering limited edition pairs of Shark Shoes,with $5 of the proceeds 
donated to Oceana. 

Local bars across the country are offering Shark Week themed happy hours & there are Shark Week Drinking games.

Here’s the thing: I hate sharks - They scare the crap out of me! 

I’m an ocean swimmer who used to surf & go long distance wave running and the thought of sharks freaks me the hell out out!
Yet, every year Shark Week holds me a willing captive!

It’s genius marketing and promoting at it’s finest. Brava, Discovery Channel!

And the brilliance of the marketing got me thinking that if someone like me, Kelly Kunik, a person who dislikes sharks intensely & is totally afraid of them, but who ironically also gets incredibly jazzed up one week a year & becomes a shark savant, thanks to #sharkweek sucking me in, why wouldn’t that work for Diabetes Week on Discovery? 

How awesome would it be if THe Discovery Channel had A week devoted to diabetes?! 

Shows about diabetes, the various types of diabetes, the history of diabetes, etc. 

Diabetes technology and the science behind it, AKA, 'Diabetes Borgs!'
Maybe a show about the History of Diabetes Snake Oil Salesmen and women and the stupidity of those who pitch the Diabetes Oxygen & Ionized Cure or the Cinnamon Enema Cure.

Perhaps a reality show called, "When PWDs Attack,"whose attacks are brought on by The Diabetes Police & and the likes there of would make for good TV.

Don't even get me started on the whole Halle Berry angle!

How about  a night devoted to the mysteries of both the endocrine & metabolic systems, not to mention craptastic pancreases.  

Hell, I’ve already done the treatment for a Diabetes MythBusters Show, so why the heck not!
You could even do a whole Movies Misquotes - D Style, just for shitz and giggles!

Come on Discovery Channel - imagine the gift of perpetuating diabetes realities & busting diabetes myths for a week! 

You can interview people living with diabetes doing all sorts of cool stuff - And people with diabetes doing everyday stuff: Person With Diabetes Eats A Cupcake - News At 11!

Discovery Channel, you'd be demystifying diabetes and educating the masses at the same time - It's a win - win!

Imagine the gifts you’d be giving to every person living in the United States who lives with diabetes, not to mention those who may develop diabetes and those who know absolute jack about diabetes. 

And imagine the commercial advertisers - It's a cross promotional extravaganza! 

THINK ABOUT IT.      

ALSO....

Of Temporary Basal Rates, Burgers, Bread Baskets & Friends Who Worry~

I met up with a large group of friends at a new bar/restaurant a few weeks back, and the minute I walked in the joint and saw the 8 inch high burgers( insert sex/meat joke here. Also, THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID, ) and Belgium fries pass by on the server's tray,  I started a temporary basal rate of 30% - Because I was going to need it! 

More and more people were arriving and our party was getting better. We went from a table of eight, to 3 tables for 16+ people and we hadn't even placed our food orders yet. 

So a few of us that wanted to get on with the business of ordering decided to go ahead and order & get a separate check for the 5 of us. 

And I casually mentioned that I was on an increased temporary basal rate in anticipation of the burgers and didn't feel like waiting an hour before I placed ordered because: 

1. I was hungry

2. I was hungry and I didn't feel like waiting

3. I had taken extra insulin via my amped up temp basal rate.   

And that would be when my 2 friends immediately started to worry in stereo.

Friend A: Do you need food, because I could go grab some bread.

Me: No, I'm fine. My blood sugar was 170 when I tested a few minutes ago, I'm great!

Friend B: Are you sure? I could get you some orange juice. 

Me: Thanks, but honestly, not a big deal. Also, I have glucose tabs (Cherry Glucolift to be exact,) just in case.

Friend B: Here- I have a cough drop - it has sugar in it. 

Me: My cold is almost gone, but thanks.

Friend B: Not for your cold, for your blood sugar. 

Me: Oh... Ok. Honestly though, I'm not hungry, but thanks.

And then I took the cough drop from her hand and ate it, even though I really didn't want to, because I thought it would make my friend feel better. 

Small chit chat followed and Friend A excused herself and 5 minutes later she came back with a basket filled with hot bread and butter. 

Friend A: Hey - I got bread from the waitress.

Me - feeling guilty: I'm fine & you really didn't have to do that. I'm getting a burger and fries, I shouldn't eat bread, but thanks.
Sidebar: Turning down bread is so damn hard!

Friend A: I got it for me, not you. 

Me: OK, cool. But thanks anyway. Also, I know you got it for '"us," emphasis on "me." 

Friend A: I can't help it, I worry about you. 

Friend B: It's just how we are - we love you - we don't want you to go low or get sick .

The 3 of us had been friends since college, they'd known my sister Debbie and they were good to her. And there were days when they could deal with her being sick better than I could. These women (they were sisters,)  loved my parents and my family and I consider them family. 

And their concern made me grateful, happy and slightly sad all rolled into one. 

I was incredibly grateful for my wonderful friends. 

I was happy because having said wonderful friends who get and accept you - regardless of your busted pancreas are more precious than gold. 

And I was a slightly sad because I was the one who was making my friends worry - And I that made me feel slightly guilty. 

15 minutes later and 10 minutes before my burger arrived, I bolused for my food, including two slices of dinner roll. Not because I wanted to and not because I had to, but because the diabetes guilt was creeping in and I could tell that my friends were still a bit anxious.
And lets be honest, turning down bread is not an easy thing to do - AND IT COULD BE SO MUCH WORSE. AND IT WAS DELICIOUS!  

Diabetes guilt or not, good friends are gifts - And I am one lucky duck, indeed. 

Almost Wordless Wednesday: HelloFlo!

To my male readers: I won't apologize for posting this brilliant video & I know that the majority of you will LOL (and possibly ROTFALYAO) when you watch it. 
Most PWDs have both a sophisticated and somewhat twisted sense of humor
(it's like a requirement if you're pancreatically challenged,) therefore you'll most likely love it!
Periods happen and this is so much better than the lame-O After School Special chatter our gym teachers gave us way back when. 
Xoxo
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I LOVE THIS Ad by HelloFlo. WHY? because it's incredibly well written, not to mention acted (seriously, how awesome is that tweener playing the Camp Gyno?!) and it makes me laugh out loud every time I watch it. 
Does it have anything to do with diabetes? Nope, except maybe for the fact that way back when, I was the first girl in my diabetes camp cabin  to wear "the red badge of courage." ;) 
Also: It's like Santa for your vagina!

A Smooth Like Butter Dead Spot~

Yeah,... It was one of THOSE days - Know what I'm saying? 

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Last night I had a high blood sugar after a dinner (thank you leftovers that followed an amazing brunch) and I knew it was time to change my infusion site. 

My current site was almost 48 hours old and it was time to say goodbye. 

I found a rarely used spot on my lower right abdomen, about an inch and a half below both the waistline of my yoga pants and below the my previous site & went in for the jab - And I barely (as in didn't even feel it - like not at all,) felt the insertion needle go in. It was a smooth like buttah, transition and that made me happy. 

Sometimes infusion site changes hurt, and sometimes you get a spidey sense that the site may or may not work due to the amount of pain and or stinging involved - At least I do.  

And sometimes my spidey senses are wrong and the achy infusion site sucks down insulin like a rockstar groupie... And sometimes not.  

Like I said, this infusion site insertion was smooth like buttah (and now I can't stop saying that phrase) and I thought all would be right with my world. And at first, it was. 

My blood sugar went from 256 to 218 in record time and I felt safe in going to bed.

Cut to this morning and waking up with a 271 breakfast blood sugar and me making the executive decision midmorning, and when I was still hovering in the 220s to switch out this site for yet another new infusion site.  

I wasn't a happy camper for several reasons. 

First:  I hate having to change an infusion site after putting a fresh one it - it makes me worry about abdomen real estate and quite frankly, it just annoys the hell out of me. 

Second: The fact that the infusion site didn't hurt... or work,  made me realize that spidey sense or not - deadspots happen - even in the spots that feel all types of hunkey dory.

Third: I just didn't feel like doing another site change - my second in less than 11 hours - See First reason. 

Fourth: Normally, I'm pretty positive when it comes to my diabetes, but honestly, it really depressed me to find another dead spot on the precious real estate that makes up my belly. And in that moment I felt like diabetes was winning when it came to my body. And I mourned the fact that this little used infusion site would most likely not be used again because it just didn’t absorb insulin. 

If I’d have had a black sharpie near by I would X marked the spot on my belly in SCREAMING CAPS - And then I would have thrown said sharpie out the window! 

We all have those F-You diabetes moments - And this was one of mine. 

Also: The irony regarding an infusion site that was so incredibly painless but so incredibly useless when it came to absorbing insulin was not lost on me. 

With the new site I went from 271, to 220. to 156 to 96 and finally landing at 90 just before lunch and all in the course of an hour and 25 minutes. 

And while I’m happy to be absorbing pancreas juice like... well, like a pancreas. This roller-coaster A La Dead Spot has left me feeling like someone pissed in my Cheerios - And it’s made me tired and cranky and pissed off at my diabetes. 

But I’m not alone ( shout out to my twitter bad infusion site/ roller coaster of blood sistas and bros, @asweetgrace, @lifeont1, @dorkabetic, @cerichards21, @krisguy) and I've decided to let my issue of the deadspot that didn’t hurt or feel like a dead spot, go. 

And now that dead spot and diabetes no longer has the upper hand

My new site is absorbing like gangbusters and I’ve got things to do. 

Diabetes, you didn’t win this round - You were sneaky and put up a good fight - But you didn’t win, I did. 

So you can just SUCK IT. 

Treating Both The Mental & The Physical Sides Of Diabetes Is A No-Brainer.

Last night’s DSMA chat was of course about Diabetes.  But this week's chat was all about the mental side of diabetes in all dimensions. As in all the baggage diabetes creates, re: food; food issues, self esteem, blood sugars, the stress of managing blood sugars, judgement and doctors treating the mental side of diabetes and not just the physical, etc. 

It was an amazing chat & BIG THANKS to Cherise for making it happen!  

So amazing that I’m still thinking about it today. 

And as far as me and 99% of last night's DSMA chat are  concerned, HCPs must treat the mental side of diabetes as well as the physical. 

Diabetes is damn hard to live with because simply put: Diabetes is constant and never ending. 

Sure, there are days when diabetes is easier to manage, when it’s not so all encompassing - and those days are great - But even on the good days, diabetes is right by our side - and in our heads.

And there are days when diabetes is incredibly difficult to live with  - And I’d divorce myself from diabetes in a hot second if I could. 

Because on those days, Diabetes makes me cry tears of anger, frustration and isolation.

There are moments though when we mourn our lives pre D - even when we don’t really remember much about our lives before diabetes. 

And there are so many moments when we beat ourselves up for what we did our didn’t do in the past - And the Diabetes Guilt eats us alive. 

Diabetes and depression go hand in hand. 

We are not our numbers, but PWDs are always judged by our numbers. 

Numbers are everywhere when it comes to living with diabetes. 

Our lives with diabetes are measured in numbers - Units of insulin, grams of carbohydrates, blood sugars, labs and A1Cs. People with diabetes see numbers on their plates instead of food. 

And every number has a story. 

And people who don’t live with diabetes don’t know or want to know those stories - or know that those stories even existed.  They just want us to be good and have good numbers, period.

But diabetes... and living with diabetes isn’t black and white, because diabetes is never the same disease two days in a row. 

And diabetes can flip it’s bitchswitch faster than the 5 seconds it takes for your blood sugar to flash up on the screen. 

Diabetes is hard work.  

And our diabetes is not our fault  - Even though the majority of the world thinks it is. 

Sidebar: Thank you media for not doing your jobs.

So it’s paramount that healthcare professionals teach people living with diabetes coping mechanisms about handling our lives with diabetes. 

I’s critical that our healthcare professionals talk with us, not at us - And that they encourage us to talk..... Or talk with someone. 

Because it's OK to talk to someone when diabetes gets overwhelming - It really is and I do.  

Diabetes support both on-line and off should be mandatory, not a luxury. Nor should patient peer support online in the form of blogs, twitter, online communities, facebook be considered a fad - because it’s not. It’s helping tremendously and it’s here to stay. THANK GOD.

Having Diabetes is not just about having a broken pancreas or a screwed up metabolism. 

And the endocrine system affects pretty much everything in our bodies - So why wouldn’t it effect our emotional well being?? 

So yep, treating both the mental and the physical side of diabetes is a no-brainer in my book.