Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Diabetes And The Little Things That Can Mess With Our Heads

It’s the little unexpected diabetes things that catch us off-guard...and can cause us to second guess ourselves in other ways and areas.
And we have to deal, acknowledge, shake it off and get on with the business of living. 
Sunday night with spoon in hand, I headed for the fridge, grabbed a yogurt and some clean red grapes from a chilled glass bowl, closed the door and headed towards the TV room  to watch one of my favorite shows, OUTLANDER. 
Claire and Jaimie were about to get together for the first time in 20 years (and through the time and space continuum, which made it more like 200 years,) and I didn’t want to miss a thing. 
SIdebar: If you’re not watching OUTLANDER on Starz, rectify that situation, IMMEDIATELY.

Fresh out of the shower after a day out in the sun -vanilla yogurt and red grapes in front of the TV were the perfect light and easy dinner.
15 minutes to Claire and Jamie “officially reuniting,” I’d bolused accordingly, I was giggling like a school girl, and my yogurt and red grapes were hitting the spot. 
10 minutes to Outlander, spoon in midair, half way through my yogurt and out of the blue, I realized that I hadn’t actually heard the fridge door close behind me. 

I put down my spoon, got up, went to the kitchen and saw that the refrigerator door was more than slightly ajar - the damn door was wide open! 
I went over and went in, checked in the produce drawer to make sure my insulin supply was still cold. And of course it was - it had only been like 5 minutes. 
But for my peace of mind I had to double check - insulin was too damn expensive to leave it chance. 
I closed the drawer, shut the door, and watched it close shut. 
And then I brushed my hand over the door handle and gave it a little pat.

CRISIS AVERTED. 5 minutes to OUTLANDER and all I could think was what if I hadn’t realized or wasn’t home to realize that I’d left the fridge door open. 
I didn’t care about the food - there wasn't much in there anyway. 
But the “what ifs” re: 4 bottles of insulin going bad had me hyper focusing on diabetes.

And diabetes was the last fucking thing I wanted to focus on. 
I took some deep breaths and did my best to shake it off. 

And I did. 

By the time the OUTLANDER theme music started, I was focused on a print shop in Edinburgh, Scotland, circa 1768 and on a reunion  20/200 years in the making. 
Claire & Jamie back together!
Photo Credit: Aimee Spinks/Starz Entertainment, LLC
Cut to yesterday morning, after locking my front door and just as I was about to walk to my car, my thoughts went back to the opened fridge door from the night before.
I took a deep breath, unlocked the door, went to the kitchen and did a quick double check that my fridge door was right and tight like a drum. 

It was. 

I ran back outside, shut the front door without a second thought..... until I was about to put the car key in the ignition and drive away - and then I wondered out-loud if I had locked the front door.

I let out a string of F-bombs, removed my seat-belt, and opened my car door. 
For the record, I had locked the front door.
But after the Sunday night insulin “could have beens and thank God it wasn't,” I found my second guessing and checking, again - because diabetes had messed with my head and my confidence - and for the third time in 24 hours. 

Yep - it was a Monday vibe for sure. Monday vibes and diabetes be damned, I put the key in the ignition and like Claire and Jamie, I forged ahead~ 


Rick Phillips said...

I am so glad I have no idea what Outlander is or where I would watch it.

Rachel said...

Oh my gosh, I had nearly the same thing happen to me with the fridge. Only, I went to bed and then woke up in the morning to an open fridge and warm insulin (and butter and milk and everything else). After replacing the insulin, and a few weeks of mind games and rushing back to double check the fridge, I ended up buying a baby latch for my fridge. It's a little bit of a hassle to unclip it whenever I want to open the fridge, but thats way less of a hassle than replacing a few bottles of ruined Novalog.