Another Attempt At putting An End To My Test Strip Trail......

Test Strips on Tin- A Study~

Taken with my iPhone~

Another attempt of putting an end to my never ending Test Strip Trail~

My first attempt resulted in a what I called "Test Strip Bottle Art," and what some others called crazy.

This attempt is more minimalist in nature.

So how do you keep your "Test Strip Trail" in check, or do you?

What's worked & hasn't worked for you in this area ?

Children With Diabetes Worry When You Worry

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.” Ambrose Redmoon

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it”

Keep your fears to yourself but share your courage with others. ~Robert Louis Stevenson

FYI: It's both "ironical" and telling that my friend Bennett (and parent D blogger over at YDMV) wrote about the same article and subject matter today- and much more articulate than my attempt. Checkout what he has to say HERE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was an article in my Google Alerts last night with the title: Children's Diabetes Control Poorer When Parents Worry," based on a Norwegian diabetes study. It hit home and I tweeted a link to it. As a grown up (though some would argue that fact) former child with diabetes, I agree. Stress- whether it's our own or others, can cause numbers to go crazy.

Children with diabetes hear the fear in their parents voice and see it in their parents eyes when their numbers head north or south. Knowing that our disease hurts our parents is something we carry with us into adulthood. Trust me on that- I know from which I speak.

As children we mimic our parents behaviors- both good and bad and carry those behaviors (and fears) into our adult life.

For years I felt the guilty for being diabetic child number 3, child number 6. I watched my parents reactions regarding high and low blood sugars, I saw how they stressed about our health and would hold their breath at Dr's appointments. I started to fib about my numbers in the 6th grade, because I was worried about my parents- not my numbers. I wanted to be the good and perfect and stress free child to my harried parents. Looking back, I think the worry absolutely affected my numbers.

I understand parents fears - even though I'm not a parent. Your children are your world and to see them suffer in anyway is heart wrenching. And your children (especially children with diabetes) are highly intuitive and not only want to please, but want to alleviate your suffering as well.
As a child, I had no idea what my parents went through, but as an adult who has the benefit of the DOC, I have a much better understanding and am incredibly grateful to my parents.
They past along some fears, but past on to me so many strengths.

As an adult with many strengths, I still have to talk myself down from the fear that a "challenging" number, or series of numbers for that matter. Because like parents of children with diabetes, people with diabetes worry too.

If you can find a way to get all "Robert Lewis Stevenson" (see above quote) on your fears- your children will follow your lead.

I havea few mantras regarding diabetes & blood sugars, and some contain a few four letter words including one that rhymes quite nicely with truck.

A couple that really help me and aren't terribly salty in nature:

One number at a time.
Just like shit (or poop for the kiddies), blood sugars happen.

And.....Diabetes happens.

The Basal Testing Chronicles - Part Deux~

Gary and the data - research in motion~

So I walked in Gary Scheiner's office at Integrated Diabetes Services and I was nervous.

Nervous because of what we’d find, and nervous about what we wouldn’t find due to the swan dive into the commode that I referred to in yesterdays post.

And I was nervous because I hadn’t done such a great job on the basal tests and fasting, and as far as me logging my numbers- Um, not so much.

We said our hellos and got down to business. Gary downloaded the info from the Dex into his laptop and all sorts of graphs popped up on the screen. More on them later

Gary asked me several questions including the make of my pump (MiniMed 512 -I know it’s old) my current basal settings (I had 3), carb ratio (15), insulin sensitivity 50%) and target blood sugar 97.

Gary: Why 97 Kel?

Me: Because I like The Old 97s.

Gary: Oh, OK - that makes perfect sense.

Me: Of course it does.

Then he asked me to hand over my meter (a lovely chartreuse One Touch Ultra Mini whose time & date settings I had somehow managed to overlook) so he could down upload the info to his computer.

And that’s where we ran into a problem, because my Ultra mini was first generation (circa 2008ish and didn’t have upload capabilities that the more current ones have. He immediately replaced it with an upgraded chartreuse One Touch Ultra Mini.

Then he attempted to upload the info in my 512 and ran into the exact same problem.

Gary: Do you have any written records?

Me: No, because I thought all the info was in my meter and your Dex.

Gary: OK, let’s pick your brain and then compare it to the data.

The data resembled maps, and as you’re all well aware, I’m no Magellan.

Gary on the other hand, navigated through the graphs and charts like a champ. He noticed a few issues with a portion of the chart and had to deal with my total lack of the written record, and the fact that I almost killed the Dex.

He picked my brain about meals, lows or highs that stood out, etc.

He printed the charts and put them on the table, along with a worksheet titled: CGM Result Analysis, and began to explain to me exactly what my deal was.

According to the CGM info and Gary’s mathematical skills, my average blood sugar was 166. My numbers were above target range 40% of the time, in target range 56 % of the time, and below range 4 %. These numbers would equal an A1C of around 7.2

I thought the low range number would be higher because I’d been having late afternoon lows and middle of the night lows as of late. But I was impressed with what he was telling me and I continued to listen.

Gary: Kelly, I’m noticing that your boluses seem to take 4 to 4.5 hours to complete working whereas many people see their bolus activity finish in 3-4 hours. Nothing to be concerned about, you just need to be patient and allow your bolus time to do its thing. And it's best to continue giving your boluses before eating to prevent the post-meal spikes.

Me: Patience when it comes to lowering high blood sugars? OH MAN! So does this indicate that something else is going on? Is this a diabetes complication?

Gary: No, that’s just how and who you are. Don’t worry about it.

Me: So it’s not a complication?

Gary; No Kelly,its just you- I swear.

Me: OK then. Gary, let’s talk about food. I’m barely hungry at all during the day- I actually have to remind myself to eat. But I’m starving at dinner and snack most of the night.

Gary: You mean you graze bolus.

Me: Well if you put it that way, yes indeed I do.

Gary: Do you eat a snack before bed?

Me: Well…. I kind of have a problem with peanut butter and jam on a spoon. I kinda have a problem with lots of things in that particular genre~

Gary: How about committing to a snack every night at 10 with a predetermined amount of carbs- consistency is key.

Me: OK.

Gary: You can eat whatever you want- can you live with a snack totaling 25 grams of carbs?

Me: YEAH.

Gary: Now we need tweak your basal, carb and insulin sensitivity settings.

Let’s take your insulin sensitivity from 50 to 45 and change your target blood sugar from 97 to 110- can you live with that?

Me: Yes indeed I can live with that.

Gary: As far as Carb Ratios go, let’s put your carb ratio at 14 at midnight and at 11 a.m. let’s switch it down to 12.

Me: OK- so know I have 2?

Gary: YES. And as far as your basals go; At midnight let’s keep your basal set at 0.95. At 6a.m. let’s take it to 1.30 and at 1p.m. let’s bring it down to 1.00 and then let’s take it down to 0.80 at 3p.m. to prevent those late afternoon drops. At 6p/m let’s bring it back up around 0.95.

ME: OK, WOW. And in my head I was thinking “Wile E. Coyote, GENIUS!

Gary: Kel, I’d like for you to attempt basal rate testing with finger stick testing and don’t stress out about completing the whole thing. Whatever info you get helps- completed basal test or not.

Me: OK, great!

Gary: I’m sorry the basal testing gave you so much trouble, I really wanted the basal testing to be a good experience for you- I’m sorry you had so many problems.

Me: Gary- I psyched myself out. But I will do this - I will make it happen.

And I absolutely will, because if Gary was able to give me this amount of info without a successful basal rate test- I can’t imagine what his findings will be when I actually complete them!

The Chronicles of Basal Testing Continue

So most of you know that I attempted basal rate testing with a Dexcom on loan from Gary Scheiner last week.

I say attempted because last week presented quite a challenge in the basal rate-testing department.

First off, I was running higher than normal most of the time I had the cgm (and several days before) and I wasn’t sure why. The higher than average numbers could have been because my sinuses were causing me major problems, which in turn aggravated a molar in my mouth that needs to be pulled.

The elevated numbers could have been because I was so stressed out about basal rate testing that I actually psyched myself out. Now I can talk in front of an auditorium full of people, no problem. But when faced with the task of fasting and keeping records, I literally fall to pieces.

Or (and this is a real possibility as well,) my higher than normal numbers might have been exactly what my body was doing – no excuses needed. High numbers happen in life.

Anyway, me being the procrastinator that is k2, I put off basal testing for 4 days.

For the first four days I wore the Dex, it was interesting to see my numbers go high and or low right before my eyes. I ran into some technical problems where the screen would “???” or there’d be a graph line that had a blank spot here and there, but for the most part- it was pretty OK.

Unfortunately for me, my trend graphs usually resembled the Letter W or the letter M and that stressed me out big time.

After two false fasting starts on March 29^th and 30^th, days were I woke up ready to start fasting, but with high blood sugars through the roof! I was finally able to start fasting in earnest on Wednesday March 31^st.

My goal was to fast from 1pm until 10pm and I was gung ho! Of course right before noon my numbers started going south quickly and I that fact made me nervous. I ate an extra large lunch and kept my fingers crossed. Just before 1pm I gave myself a tiny bolus and started fasting. After 1 pm my numbers started to rise and again and the nerves set in.

They held steady and didn’t go above 250 – the magic number where Gary said the fasting would end. My numbers started to drop around 4pm, and they dropped fast! At 6:30 the Dex’s alarm went off several times wen my blood sugar was under 80 and I ignored it. Finally, when my number was well under 70, I knew I had to stop.

And that would be the point where I burst into tears- and tweeted about it.

I felt so alone in basal testing. The last time I’d basal tested I had literally JUST switched to the pump and was living with my ex boyfriend – who was many things- both good and bad. But as far as the diabetes and basal testing were concerned- he was a tremendous help. This time around I felt alone and sorry for myself. I’d been through a lot worse than basal testing (HELLO, does 1 in a million ring a bell?) so why was basal testing causing me to not only stress out, but to feel so damn sorry for myself?

Thanks to the support of many on-line friends and off, I realized that I wasn’t alone, far from it~ I had friends all over the world that understood my diabetes and basal test frustrations and who gave me words of encouragement that gave me the boost I needed to pull myself up by my bootstraps and forge ahead.

To my friends and Tweeps- THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

The supportive tweets and emails I received literally allowed me to look at basal testing with a new set of eyes and a fresh attitude. I decided that I’d take a 1-day break and start basal testing again of Friday, April 2^nd at 9a.m.

Thursday April 1^st was the day I maintained near perfect numbers and achieved Blood Sugar Nirvana. And because I was feeling good about my diabetes, my numbers, and myself, I was excited to start basal testing again the next day.

But on Thursday night I ran into major technical difficulties with Dex. Or should I say that Dex ran into technical difficulties with me. As I was removing my sweatshirt to take a shower, the Dex unclipped from my yoga pants and flew up in the air in what seemed like excruciatingly slow motion. The Dex hovered midair, like the flying saucer from "Planet 9 From Outer Space" (sans the horrific special effects - FYI -WORST MOVIE EVER-but hilarious to watch) before taking a swan dive in the commode!

It was only submerged a split second and I quickly dried it off. All that kept going through my mind was: NO, NO, And NO!!!!! This is Gary’s Dex, not mine. OH GOD- please let it live!! And don’t let it have Gremlin like tendencies regarding water!!!

I grabbed my hairdryer from under the sink and painstakingly dried the Dex and it's innards on a warm low setting for about two minutes.

The screen showed my graph but it looked a bit strange.

Then an alarm went off and the dex shut itself off. I tried recharging and it turned back on.

I decided to let the Dex run out the battery completely (I’d planned on recharging Thursday night while I slept anyway) and let the battery drain. I’d recharge it on Friday morning.

I didn’t get much sleep Thursday night because I was stressed about the fact that I might have committed crimes against both society and the cgm.

Cut to Friday mid morning when the Dex battery finally drained. I recharged it and called Gary after lunch.

Gary: Hey Kelly, what’s up?

ME: Gary, I have to be honest with you- I think I might have killed your Dexcom. Northing like blurting out the truth when you've screwed up BIG TIME~

Gary: OK, what happened? Sidebar: Gary was cool as a cucumber and very nice about it.

Me: It unexpectedly took a swan dive in the commode during a sweatshirt removal procedure.

Gary: was it submerged?

Me Yes, for like a second. GARY I’M SO SORRY.

Gary: It’s OK Kel; did you try drying it with a hair drier?

Me: Yes, and I let the battery drain afterwards and now it’s recharging.

Gary: It’s OK Kel; it’s going to be OK. Let it fully recharge and go through it’s warm up and see what happens. I’m more concerned about your sensor. It’s been in a long time.

Me: If I broke the receiver- I’ll pay for it.

Gary: Stop worrying Kel, everything is going to be fine.

So I calmed down and waited for it to finishing recharging and warm up.

Late Friday afternoon I started to see a trending graft and I breathed a sigh of relief – life was good, the sun was out, I hadn’t committed murder! Can I get a Hallelujah from the D congregation please!!!

And then the graph disappeared and the following words flashed on the screen.

FAILED SENSOR.

Yeah- I definitely picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!

Tune in for tomorrow's show, where Kelly and Gary discuss trends, graphs, insulin absorption, consistency in snacks and the time travel continuum~

Embrace The Daffodils

Daffy-down-dilly came up in the cold,
Through the brown mould
Although the March breeze blew keen on her face,
Although the white snow lay in many a place.

Anne Bartlett Warner- Daffy-Down -Dilly

in time of daffodils (who know the goal of living is to grow)

forgetting why,remember how.

e.e. cummings In time of Daffodils~

****Pictures of daffodils are courtesy of my mother's garden.

Daffodils make me happy for a multitude of reasons.

Daffodils remind me of my mother because they are sunny and bright, strong and sturdy, and to be honest, every single time I see daffodils, I smile and feel all types of glad.

Daffodils give me hope, they always have- since I was a little girl. During the horrific winter that was 2010, I felt hope when I saw daffodils starting to peak out through the snow. These gorgeous flowers that seem so delicate, are deceptively strong and incredibly resilient.

They refuse to shrink back when times get tough. They make their tenacity known regardless of the elements and remind us on the dankest of days that spring is just around the corner.

Daffodils don’t disappoint- that return every single season. Some seasons are more successful than others- just like life. Some years the bulbs flower like crazy, while other years there are more stalks than actual flowers (due to the fact that the bulbs are getting crowded & need to regroup, just like us) but they always return.

I think that PWDs (people with diabetes) are like daffodils.

Some folks think that we are delicate, but we are deceptively strong.

We have a tough interior and an amazingly beautiful exterior.

And like daffodils, PWDs make me smile….and give me hope.

So I say, embrace the daffodil ~

Thanks Easter Bunny- BAWK,BAWK!!

One of my favorite commercials ever!

To all my friends, have a happy Easter, Passover, & the

likes there of.

No matter what your denomination-

ENJOY THIS BEAUTIFUL SUNDAY!

Have fun, test often, bolus, &

have a delicious day!

And "Thanks Easter Bunny - BAWK, BAWK!"

April 2nd Is - PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME

PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME

In honor of April 2^nd being National Peanut Butter & Jelly Day, (and a few other reasons like keeping my sanity and the fact that I’m having some “gremlin” inspired issues with my borrowed CGM. Not to mention that this is the weekend I indulge in carrot cake,) I’ve decided to postpone my basal testing and start again next week.

No one’s really certain who the mastermind behind PB & J is but food Historians know that the dynamic duo was part of the United States military’s food rations for the troops in WWII.

Today my fellow Diabetesaliciousness readers, I encourage you to take a moment and revel in the epicurean spectacular known as peanut butter and jelly. Make a sandwich or spread the dynamic duo on a ½ a bagel. Have the combo on a banana, or simply combine the two on spoon and make a bolus worthy meal/snack of it!