But sometimes, diabetes or not, life gets in the way. I tried my absolute best during my mom's illness and subsequent death to stay on top of things - At least as far as my diabetes life was concerned.
I tested like a mad woman; ate when needed, and took any and all daily medications required.
I really thought I had a handle on things diabetically speaking. But sometimes it doesn't matter what you do externally, stress still plays a major factor internally speaking - And the proof is in the numbers.
As I walked into my Endo's office, I felt the dread weighing heavily on my heart.
I signed in, was weighed, and read a copy of Philadelphia Magazine while I waited in the examine room.
And then a nice Intern came in and asked me all the typical questions one would expect from an Endo visit. Questions about blood sugars, basal rates, eye-exams and the last time I saw a Podiatrist.
Then he asked if anything out of the ordinary had happened since my last visit....... And I looked him straight in the eyes and told him my mother had died 33 days earlier.
I told him in a matter-of- fact manner about taking her to the emergency room, her blocked kidney & the failed stent attempt. Her being in the intensive care unit; and being in a medically induced coma, and how she beat sepsis and woke up & was moved to a Step-Down unit, and then suffered from internal bleeding because of her cumadin, and how she beat that and was moved to a Telemetry unit. And finally I told him about her coding twice from CO2 build-up and never waking up and having her vent removed.
I told him about the funeral and all that followed, including the sleepless nights. And then I told him that I missed my mother more than I could put into words and how being an orphan absolutely sucked.
And he listened and took notes and then said how sorry he was. He asked me if I was depressed, and I told him that no, I wasn't depressed, but I was sad about losing my mom and that I missed her very much.
And then the intern told me (and I'm paraphrasing here,) that during the Adjustment Phase, (apparently, that's the name for the time after a loved one's death) being sad is normal, and that in his professional opinion I didn't look or sound depressed. I looked good and it sounded like my family and I had been through a lot.
And that quite frankly, he'd be concerned if I wasn't feeling sad. And I was like: Oh, OK, that makes me feel better, thanks. And then he went off to find Dr. J.
And a few minutes later Dr. J came in and told me how sorry he was and asked me to explain what happened with my mom from the beginning - So I did.
Dr. J: Kelly (but when he says it, it sounds like kel-lee,) I am so sorry to hear that!! You have been through so much and under a tremendous amount of stress!! I know it's been difficult and if you need anything, call us.
Dr. J: Listen, your labs are great. Cholosterol, is good, blood pressure good, and kidneys are great! And I gotta tell you Kel-Lee, with all the stress you've been under, I fully expected an A1C in the nines or tens -At least! So listen, we're not going to change your diabetes management right now. Let's see how things are next visit before we consider playing around with your rates.
A 7.4 A.1c is really very good! Don't beat yourself up, Kel-lee.
And then we talked for another 20 minutes or so about life and discussed what direction my life was headed. Then Dr. J ran out and retrieved a large number of insulin samples for me and said: I'll see you in February/March, and call if you need anything!
We said our goodbyes and then I scheduled my next appointment and left. In the elevator I put on my sunglasses, even though it was crappy out, because I had tears in my eyes.
My Endo, his intern, CDE and amazing staff get "it," BIG TIME.
And by "IT" I mean life, and what life throws our way, diabetes and otherwise.
And I feel incredibly lucky & blessed to have such an amazing diabetes team working with me - And I am very thankful indeed~
I'm glad your med team has a really good score on their empathyA1C! I never met your mom, but feel like I know her just a little bit from all the times she starred in your blogs and stories. She was an amazing lady and leaves an amazing legacy in her daughter! Hugs. —Kelly
So glad to her your endo is so great and gets it, and had such an understanding ear from A1c to everything else. Thanks for sharing this, and best your way K2!
You are amazing and have done so well in the face of all that's happened in the past few months. I'm proud to say I know you and I'm glad to know that you have a great medical support team.
Although I've not dealt with all that you've gone through recently, I have dealt w/ a hardcore diabetes burnout period. My doctor and nurse practitioner have both been very supportive and have understood. I love having a team that "gets it."
I've got tears in my eyes from reading about that appointment. What a great medical team, and how wonderful that they work together WITH you. *HUGS*
This is all so wonderful, your team, having people in your team who get it. It makes it less stressful and a wee it more able to take, knowing people are on your side. I am so thrilled you have such a good team taking care of you.
Wonderful blog, just found you via the 'next blog' bar. Recently diagnosed with type 2 and learning. Recently completed education class at the local hospital too. Sorry for loss of your mom, take care. John
yay, kelly! i am so happy for you!
i too am blessed to have an amazing CDE and endo. i'm working on a post about their amazingness during a difficult time for me.
still sending prayers and hugs your way every day, my friend. one day at a time. love you!
Tearful eyes here too! After my fathers death (eerily similar to how you lost your own mother) my
A1c was signifigantly higher too. Its great that you/we have doctors who understand the mind/body/diabetes connection! ((HUGS)) You are doing great, no matter what the numbers say!
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