SOS - Internet Is Down!!!!

The ramblings of an Internet deprived D-O-C member, who managed to scratch out a post via her iPhone and Shozu app. It ain't pretty!

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Stuck here at work,
And the blasted Internet is down.
I can't access my blogger account,
No matter how hard I try
And unable to upload today's prepared post,
This D chick's about to cry!

If it wasn't for my iPhone
I wouldn't have a clue,
But at least I can access my Facebook, Shozu blog app & email- so they will just have to do.

I'm cut off from "The Twitter,"
And my fabu DOC crew.
Yes, I'm a little bitter,
But hey, wouldn't you be 2?

The daily contact with the DOC,
Keeps each of us from being a lonely PWD.

Miss you so much & hope to reboot in few...
Because this Diazon can't wait to hear the latest dish from each & everyone of you!

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"Oh Stewardess, I Speak Diabetes" Or Why Face Book Needs To Speak Diabetes

I had another post all ready to go today, but then was inspired by a wonderful Face Book conversation and wrote and ran with this instead.

Thanks for the inspirations friends!

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"Oh stewardess, I speak diabetes!"

So as I mentioned on my Face Book status this morning that I’d tried to add Diabetes on my Face Book profile under the option: “Languages You Speak.” And FB would have none of that – and that just annoyed me to no end. Because seriously, anyone who has diabetes or whose family member has diabetes, knows for a fact that "Diabetes Speak" is a language unto itself!

The status generated a whole FB discussion and the comments were pretty darn hilarious - and almost all of them were written in, or referred to, the language of Diabetes.

Some, like Meri, called what I refer to as “Diabetes Speak” the Language of the Pancreas.

Others like Wendy Rose call it Diabetonese- and on a personal note, Wendi sometimes has trouble with the pronouns but can still speak Diabetonese like a pro!

Regardless if you whether you speak Diabetes Slang or Diabetes Speak proper, in order to achieve Blood Sugar Nirvana and have an acceptable #bgnow, every day, including #bgwed - not to mention an acceptable A1C that will make the harshest member of the Diabetes Police smile with joy and allow you to dine on a “totally bolus worthy” cupcake sans the guilt.

PWDs (people with diabetes) and their Type 3s have no choice but to understand the language of diabetes and all it’s many incarnations and subtle nuances.

We must not only be fluent in the Language of Diabetes, we must live the language of diabetes daily.

After fooling around with the language options on Face Book, I realized that they had so many freaking language options that it could make your head spin faster than Lynda Blair in The Exorcist.

But just to skim the tip of the FB language Iceberg, FB does recognize the following languages:

The Languages In Starwars: Yes, plural George Lucas based languages are recognized on The Face Book. And for some reason, I'm not surprised.

Texas German: A near extinct dialect that stemmed from german immigrants settling in Texas and combining German/American english with Texas colloquialisms.

Hinglish: A combined version of Hindu & English

Surrealism: To all of those who graduated college with a Literature degree, you were correct, Surrealism is indeed it’s own language!

PitKern: The Language created from the Descendents of Mutiny on the Bounty fame. It'ss a creole language based on an 18th century dialect of English and Tahitian. It is a primary language of Pitcairn

Pig Latin: “Esyay, Igpay Atinlay isway away ecognizedray anguagelay”

Dutch Sign Language: The Dutch version of Sign Language.

Playero: Please note, this is not the language of "Playas!" Playero is Guahiban language that is spoken by about 250 people in Colombia. Speakers are bilingual in Spanish - for the most part.

So for real Face Book, if Surrealism is recognized language, why isn’t Diabetes?

Diabetes can be totally surreal at times and we even have our own dialects. And I know for a fact that more people speak Diabetes than both Playero & Texas German- Not that I have anything against Playero or Texas German, bcause I don’t!

So, do you speak diabetes?

Go ahead, Flip Your Diabetes Bitch/Wit Switch!

Last night on "the twitter" I read a tweet from Lorraine from This Is Caleb that said, and I’m paraphrasing here because I can’t find the said tweet on her twitter feed :

@colcalli C’s CDE asked me if he’s had any highs since his last visit. W.T.?

So I tweeted back:

@diabetesalish @Colcalli Of course he's had highs, he’s a pwd! Ask her if she's had any bowel movements since C's last appt & tell us what she says.

@colcalli @diabetesalish lol!!!!!!! Love it! Love you! If only I could be that quick and witty.

Thanks Lorraine, but I’m not always that tricky/witty!

But, Lorraine's encounter got me thinking that all of us need to have some witty, diabetes Bitch Switch remarks to have on hand when we get hit with diabetes comments that bring us well past our "I'm going to educate this person" breaking point and makes us throw up our hands and say, w.t.f?

So, I came up with a few not so typical responses that you can use next time you've reached your breaking point regarding you or your child’s diabetes .

Comment: You have diabetes? Is it the... bad kind?

Your response: No, it’s the kind that allows you to fart glitter and shit gold ingots! What kind are you talking about?

Comment: You’re too young to have diabetes

Your reply: You’re too old to be that dim-witted.

Question: How come you didn’t grow out of your diabetes?
You respond: How come you didn’t grow out of your stupidity?

Comment: Man, I could never be forced to watch what I eat!

Your response: Yes, from the looks of things, that’s quite obvious.

Comment: Your mother must have fed you a lot of sugar as a child - that's why you have diabetes.

Your response: Your mother must have let you sniff a lot of glue as child, that's why you're an idiot~

Comment: Oh, and about your insulin pump – no worries, no one will even notice, it looks like beeper.

Your response: OK, refresh my memory, because I might have been having some blood sugar issues at the time, but seriously, I don’t remember hopping in a Time machine and magically transporting us back to 1992.

Question: You have diabetes?? COOL – Do you know Nick Jonas?

Your response: Yes, and we’re very good friends – we’re actually meeting at Starbucks in 10 minutes. Want to come with?

Comment: Diabetes – I couldn’t handle not eating sugar!

Your response: Me either – Wanna go snort some?

Question: Does your pump run on batteries.

Your Response: No it’s strictly solar powered.

Question: So, does your insulin pump automatically tests your blood sugars and & give you the right amount of insulin? That’s so cool!

Your response: Unfortunately, no. But it does have GPS & foursquare capabilities, a tracking device, receives texts and reads my biorhythms. So…You know, it’s got A LOT going for it~

If you have any diabetes Bitch Switch scenarios/comments, please feel free to share it!

I Am Poster Girl With No Poster - I Am 32 Flavors & Then Some~

Squint your eyes and look closer

I'm not between you and your ambition

I am a poster girl with no poster

I am thirty-two flavors and then some.

Ani DiFranco

I am a funny, smart, empathic woman with a large voice that I'm not afraid to use when it comes to my community. But I still have moments of being shy - and that comes as a surprise to many who know me.

I clean up more than nice and much like "Lucy in the sky with diamonds, I am the girl with kaleidoscope eyes." Seriously, my eyes are hazel so they change color depending on what I wear & my mood.
I laugh from my belly, deep and loud. And sometimes I laugh so hard my whole body shakes and I cease to make noise.
At times, I think with my heart and other times I think with my head.
But good or bad and regardless of which, I'm always thinking - Except of course when I'm not.

Animals like me, most kids adore me, the majority of teenagers I've come in contact with respect me, and senior citizens still call refer to me as "as a young lady." And I'm Ok with all that.

As far as reading maps - I'm almost completely incapable.
As far as North, South, East, or West, I'm totally incapable.
As far as writing, some say I'm OK, others think I'm more than OK, but everybody agrees that I need more work in all aspects of editing.

I've embraced sushi and have learned to bolus for it - because I am a Diabetes Savant~
I like my food spicy and savory and everything else in between!
I love Vanilla and chocolate ANYTHING as long as it's not those disgusting, cheap vanilla/chocolate candles/room fresheners.

Every aspect of the the ocean makes me happy.
And I will wear a red dress over a beige dress any day of the week.

At times I wear my heart on my sleeve and I always wear my pancreas clipped to my hip, except when it's hidden on my thigh - all sexy spy like.

I don't shy away from being a person with diabetes - I've embraced it - and for more than awhile, it's worked for me quite nicely.

But I'm always surprised when someone shies away from me because of diabetes.

The amount of times this has actually happened to me in the last 30+ years of living with diabetes adds up to less than the amount of fingers on 1 hand - in this case, let's say the left hand, because I'm left handed. For the record, I have 5 fingers on my left hand.

OK, it's happened twice in 30+ years - which is just so minuet in the grand scheme of Kelly.

Anyway, on those very rare occasions when the memory of someone deciding not to move forward and get to know me because of a busted pancreas pop into my head, a big part of me wants to shake those morons (whose names I can't even remember) to their very core and tell them: Good riddance and I feel sorry for you - because seriously, you don't know what you missed!

And the the other part of my brain is like: First of all, what the hell made you think of that train wreck? Which is immediately followed by:THANK YOU GOD FOR LETTING ME DODGE THAT BULLET!

And then I never think about them again - Except of course, when I do, And then I breathe a sigh of relief.

The DOC Awards Are Just Around The Corner.....

So I'm a little late at posting this, but you'll still be able to get your vote in before the deadline!

The DOC Awards have come around again after taking a hiatus for a few years, and YOU dear diabetesalicious reader, have the chance to vote for who you think should win a DOC Award, and in which category you think they should win in.
Speaking categories, this years are pretty trippy, and include:

Best Blog Design

Most Creative

Blogger Who We Wish Would Blog More

Funniest Blogger

Most Likely to Put You in a Good Mood

Best Commenter

Best Twitterer

Blogger with the Best Hair

Blogger You’d Share a Drink With

Best Photographer

Best Use of Bad Language

Best VloggerBlogger

Most in Need of Comment Love

Blogger I Most Want to Meet Offline

The last day to vote is Wednesday, December 8th, 2010.
For all the juicy details including; rules, regulations, and the email address to send your votes to (OK, I'll give you that- Send your votes to docawards@gmail.com ) but still click HERE or http://docawards.wordpress.com/2010/11/17/the-2010-diabetes-oc-awards/ for all the official rules and regs required for voting!

As for me, I have to start figuring out who gets what vote - like right now!
Hmmmmm, Blogger with the best hair???? Decisions, decisions, decisions.......

My Spin On The Diabetes Civil War - I Say Unite & Fight Against The Real Enemies

So, I’ve gotten a lot emails asking me my thoughts on the Diabetes Civil War and name change - So, to paraphrase an old Toyota commercial from the early 90’s: You asked for it, you got it, Toyota.

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In my eyes, the whole diabetes civil war thing creates conflict and separatism among those of us living the diabetes life, instead of the unity in our diabetes community.

Unity in community = power. Cracks in a foundation (be it in a community or structure) lead to that community or structure crumbling.

I've been a type 1 for 33 years and have, and have lost, many loved ones in my family to type1. And I want us to find a cure, BIG TIME. I'm tired of losing family members to this disease, and my heart always breaks when I hear of another type 1 diagnoses.

And I've also felt the hurt and shame every time someone has blamed me for my disease, or my sister for causing her own death. That hurt, shame, and pain never goes away. That hurt and blame did nothing but continually put me on the defense, and prevented me from developing a good diabetes offensive for quite sometime. That time I can't get back, and I'm sure it's caused damage to me physically, not to mention mentally.

I don’t want to fight others with diabetes just because they have a different type.

I don’t want to take away from their diabetes issues and pain, and I sure as hell don’t want to blame them for their disease.

And I’ll be honest, before I become friends with people who were type 2, there’s a very good chance I might have joined the separatist movement. But thanks to the Diabetes On-line Community, I’ve wised up. I’ve learned that their diabetes struggles mimic my own and that we are on the same side, and when I think back of my type 2 prejudices, I’m ashamed.

Many people with type 2 diabetes have a genetic link to the disease, just like a have a huge genetic link to type 1 diabetes. 
And regardless of the type, once a person is diagnosed with diabetes, they will always be diabetic. They will always have to stand watch and continually be on guard for diabetes complications.

Many of my type 2 friends work very hard on managing their disease - the very same disease that their parents and grandparents.

And many people don't have a genetic link to diabetes, regardless of the type.

The same thoughts apply for my brothers and sisters with 1.5 Diabetes. Before I became part of the DOC, I had no idea that they even existed. Now, I learn from they every day.

No, I don't want to change the name of my diabetes. I'm Ok with being called a person who has type 1 diabetes.

And I'm OK with people with type 2 diabetes being called a type 2 diabetics, or people with type 2 diabetes. Same goes for those who are type 1.5 diabetics, a.k.a., type1.5-LADA diabetes.

No, what I want to change is the public perception of diabetes - and I will fight to do just that.

My weapons of choice will be education and a loud and constant voice of many, not just my own.

And I say let's start the rumble in the diabetes jungle with the media!

LIsten up Media, I'm talking to you: People with diabetes are not lazy, glutenous, self destructive saps. And regardless of our type, we don't deserve the diabetes card we were dealt.

I demand that the media stop perpetuating diabetes myths and stereotypes - and I will fight to make that happen.

I demand that the media stop running with catchy diabetes sound bites that only have a degree of “truthiness” and only represent one facet of the vast diabetes spectrum. I want the media to differentiate between the types instead of lumping everyone with diabetes together. I want the media to see the many faces of diabetes and I demand that the media do it’s job and take the time and effort to explain ALL the diabetes incarnations and facts.

And while I'm at it, I'll put some of the blame on food manufacturers for adding High Fructose Corn Syrup into everything we eat in this country. Because ironically, it wasn't until HFCS started replacing sugar in foods almost 40 years ago, that people started associating diabetes with people being over weight & lazy sons of bitches who caused their own disease.

I demand that congress not allow the Corn Refiners Association to change the name of High Corn Syrup to the friendlier and incredibly deceptive sounding “Corn Sugar.”

And I will demand and fight for insurance reform so insurance companies can’t charge outrageous monthly premiums, while limiting their clients heath options in the form of denying insulin pumps, cgms, and the number bottles of insulin and test strips per month, and the likes there of. All the while, allowing their CEO's fat payoffs with options to boot!

And I'll continue to fight for a cure for type 1 diabetes every single day of my existence!I 'll fight until the day pigs fly and my feet and knees bleed because I've literally crawled to find a cure. I'll fight until I literally have no voice left. And then, I'll keep writing about it!

But as far as blaming a person with diabetes, I won't do that - because society blames us enough.

Diabetes is a disease that has many types, but we are all part of the same family and on the same side. Regardless of what type of diabetes we live with, our goals are the same.

1. To live
2. To live a healthy and productive life
3. To stop the perpetuation of diabetes myths and stereotypes and educate the public on the diabetes facts
4. To find a cure

I choose to focus not on our differences, but the qualities and goals that unite us.

Other posts regarding the Civil War include, but by no means limited too:

http://talesofswaging.blogspot.com/2010/12/not-so-civil-war.html#comment-form

http://ourdiabeticlife.blogspot.com/2010/11/us-against-them-and-my-6-things.html

http://www.diabetesdaily.com/edelman/2010/10/which-is-worse-type-1-or-type-2-diabetes.php

http://strangelydiabetic.com/2010/11/30/is-there-a-civil-war/

http://www.diabetesdaily.com/knicks/2010/11/its-not-you-its-me.php

http://lemonadelife.com/2010/11/diabetes-civil-war-my-thoughts/

http://thecornerboothcc.blogspot.com/2010/12/not-abe-lincolns-civil-war.html

http://thepoordiabetic.com/diabetes-civil-war/

http://www.tudiabetes.org/forum/topics/diabetes-civil-war-people-with?commentId=583967%3AComment%3A1357011

Time Teaches Us That We Are Stronger Than We Ever Imagined -1 In A Million, 1 Year Later

Time goes by faster than we’d like and teaches us that we are stronger than we ever imagined - and to me, that is the true gift of time passing.

But I still burst in to tears two minutes ago when I realized that tomorrow would mark a year since the whole 1 in a million thing came to be.

And as long as I’m being honest, I’m still crying as I type this.

Well, a year has gone by since the whole one in a million thing, and a year and a day has gone by since I wrote this letter to you all. And I’ve come to terms and accepted, and I have much to be thankful for.

I’m thankful that I still have some vision in my right eye and that it still looks as beautiful as my left eye.

I’m thankful that my ocular occlusion was not caused by diabetes, heart disease, or something brain related. Those are the gifts that allowed me to accept the reality of the 1 in a million occurrence.

I’m grateful that I’m healthy and tough and I’m thankful that I have friends that have loved me, made me laugh, donned eye patches and carried me through when I couldn’t carry myself.

Seriously and from the bottom of my imperfect pancreas, your friendship made all the difference.

I’m thankful that I’m strong and resilient and that I didn't let that moment 365 days ago be the point where my life went in a downwards spiral.

Instead, I chose that moment to be the starting point where my life would move forward and upward and on to better things - And I am so grateful that I chose that route.

But I still feel the loss, and at the oddest of moments.

Like this past summer when I was talking with a group of my girlfriends on the beach. The ocean was at its most beautiful and wild because two hurricanes were churning off the coast. The waves were huge and rough and the water temperature was 72 degrees and perfect and I felt so happy and alive and at the waters edge.

My sunglasses were on and I looked out over the ocean and my breath was taken away by it's beauty. And like I often do, I closed my good eye and looked out of my bad eye. I focused on the parts of my eye that weren’t blacked out. Those wonderful parts that allowed me to see bits straight ahead and a larger portion out of the corner - and at that very moment I saw the parts of the ocean I hadn’t fully seen or realized that I was missing.

My face turned red and my eyes filled up with tears and I had to walk away from my friends because I was afraid that I once I started crying I wouldn’t be able to stop.

I went back to my chair, threw off my pump, sunglasses and hat and then ran back towards the sea. I dove in and swam out as far as I could and looked at the ocean from every possible angle and continued to cry. The waves slammed at their fullest force and I dove over under them and rode them towards the shore. I body surfed for a good ½ hour and took in waves that lesser (and better) swimmers wouldn’t have been able to handle.

And I took those waves in with my eyes closed, and not because I was trying to be all “one & zen" with the water, it was because I had my beach contacts in and couldn’t take the chance of losing them in the ocean.

With eyes closed, I skimmed those giant waves, feeling and matching their every rhythm, cresting with and surfing them all the way into the waters edge. And then I’d run back in and start all over again. I did this until my body had no more to give the ocean, and it was wonderful.

And in those moments, things once again came full circle, and I knew I could do and be anything, regardless of the 1 in million ocular occlusion.

While I’m reminded of what happened every time I open my eyes, I am also reminded that I am blessed with wonderful things, including the gifts of tenacity, friendship, and love, and truly being “1 in a million.”